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Sex in Public: Worth Trying or Worst Idea Ever?

It’s something just about everyone has at least thought about a time or two – how hot it would be to get a bit frisky in public. Sometimes you happen to spot a golden opportunity while out with a lover and can’t help but think, “what if.” Other times, it’s just a pet fantasy you like to consider now and again, but it’s always fun to think about.

But what if you’re ready to stop thinking and start experimenting? Is public sex even a good idea, or is it sure to be something you’ll wind up regretting? And if you do decide to give it a try, how can you give yourself the best chance of avoiding detection? Here’s a closer look at what you need to consider before you dive right in.

Why Consider It in the First Place

There are many reasons why you or your partner might be interested in giving public sex a try. To begin with, it’s a great way to add a little zing to your sexual repertoire, whether you think it needs it or not. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s more important than many people think. A little variety and a sense of adventure never hurt when it comes to keeping things interesting.

Even discussing the idea of having public sex together can be exciting and can encourage both of you to be a lot more spontaneous. It can lead to future conversations about other fantasies you might have or things you might want to try together in the bedroom sometime – always a plus.

Why You Want to Be Careful

If you do decide you want to give in to temptation and make your public sex fantasies come true, making sure you aren’t seen or caught is a must. If the cops catch you, you could wind up facing public indecency charges, and nobody wants that. Not everyone winds up paying hefty fines or landing in jail because of something like that, but it’s not entirely unheard of, either.

Also, consent is sexy. Even if the idea of being seen or observed kind of excites you, you don’t want to force other people to be unwitting participants in something that’s just between you and your partner. Have your fun, if you like, but be discreet about it.

A Little Preparation Goes a Long Way

Whether you’re actively making plans to try a little public nooky on for size or not, it pays to be prepared, especially if you think you might get an opportunity on a particular day. Here are some tips to keep in mind.

Dress with your plans in mind.

The better you can blend in with the rest of your surroundings, the lower the likelihood of getting caught. Save the neon yellow or fire engine red for another day. Instead, wear neutrals and understated tones that make it harder to catch the eyes of passersby. It’s never a bad idea to skip the underwear and go commando, as well. The fewer layers between the two of you and the good time you’re after, the better.

Come up with a “just in case” excuse.

Often, public play that’s either blossomed into full-blown sex or is about to can look a lot like something completely innocent. Take a minute to consider what that “innocent something” could be before you get down to business just in case someone does see you and decides to confront you.

If you’re caught by actual cops or authority figures, though, it’s probably not to your benefit to lie. Just apologize, be super polite, and promise it will never happen again. You’re more likely to escape unscathed.

Pick your location with care.

Timing is everything when it comes to scorching public sex that you can totally get away with, so make sure you consider it before you go for it in a pet spot you’ve had your eye on. For instance, bustling locations – like beaches or parks in the middle of the summer – are better bets after dark.

Some locations are almost always good fits when you’re in the mood to get a little naughty on the sly. Wooded areas and remote locations are good choices, as there are lots of spots that are off the beaten trail and can offer the kind of concealment you need.

You may also want to practice getting it on in more different positions, as public sex often requires you to get more creative. Standing or doggie-style sex tends to work especially well in a pinch, so it’s time to start mastering those. If you’re able to coast into whatever position would work best fluidly, your world of opportunity will open up more in the most beautiful ways. Try it and see!

6 Ways to Push Your Sexual Boundaries

Never make the mistake of thinking you and your partner need to be suffering through a dry spell or stuck in a rut to benefit from a bit of experimentation. Sex is an integral part of staying connected in any relationship. Making it a point to try new things once in a while keeps things fun, fresh, and red hot.

It doesn’t necessarily take a dramatic change for you to reap the benefits, either. The following are some practical but approachable ways to push your sexual boundaries and add a little oomph to your love play.

1.      Take turns exploring each other’s fantasies.

If you’re not sure where to start, this is an excellent place. Confessing a pet fantasy to a partner and listening to them do the same is an incredible way to build intimacy. It’s also a huge turn-on, especially if these are things, you’d typically keep to yourselves.

Declare a “no judgment” zone to keep things comfortable, and then take turns swapping fantasies. Make a list of the ones you’re both open to trying. Come back to it when you’re in the mood to be a little naughty or are in the mood to surprise a partner with a treat.

2.      Try some backdoor play on for size.

Anal play is already on the menu for lots of couples, but if you’re an exception, it’s something well worth considering. Your backdoor is packed with sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated just right, and that goes for your partner, too.

If you’re comfortable trying full-on anal sex, more power to you, but keep in mind that there’s more to butt play than that. Anal toys or even your fingers are just as capable of introducing you to the magic. Just make sure you use plenty of lube if you’re planning anything penetrative.

3.      Start a shared toy collection.

Vibrators and other sex toys are, of course, phenomenal when enjoyed alone, but they can be just as world-changing when brought into the bedroom to use with a partner. Start with what you already have, experiment a little, and see how you like it.

If all goes well, consider starting a toy chest for the two of you to dip into whenever the mood strikes. Fill it with a wide variety of different options, and take turns suggesting new additions. Doing the actual shopping together can be super-hot, as well, so consider making it a team effort.

4.      Indulge your inner exhibitionist.

Although you definitely want to be careful not to get caught, getting a little naughty in public now and again is a great way to make sex more exciting. Thankfully, you don’t have to do anything too high-risk to get a real thrill out of the experience.

Drive to an out-of-the-way place, and channel your inner teenagers by having sex in the car. Experiment with a discreet remote-controlled sex toy one of you can wear and the other can operate without anyone nearby being any the wiser. Get frisky in your backyard or on your balcony after dark. Be as creative as you like! Your sex life will thank you for it.

5.      Schedule a “no clothes allowed” day.

Being naked is one of life’s simplest and most drastically underrated pleasures. Not only is it pretty freeing to spend a little time in your birthday suit now and then, but being naked with a partner is just plain sexy. The two of you get to drink up the sight of one another, as well as the feeling of each other’s skin, without necessarily having sex the whole time.

Try planning an all-day nude fest for a day you’re both free and can be sure you’ll have the place all to yourselves. Have sex as often as you like, and have fun hanging out in the nude the rest of the time. It’s so much fun.

6.      Dabble in some mild BDSM play.

You don’t need to go all-out with whips, chains, and the whole nine yards to get a jolt out of what BDSM brings to the table. Experimenting with concepts like submission, domination, role reversal, and orgasm denial isn’t just fun. It’s a terrific way to push your sexual boundaries together and discover some new scenarios you might both be really into.

Light spankings, temperature play, blindfolding, and mild restraint are all great places to start, especially if one or both of you are new to BDSM. Don’t ever spring something like this on your partner without discussing it beforehand, though. Consent is sexy, as well as an essential part of responsible BDSM play.

However, you and your partner choose to stay connected, a little sexual boundary pushing goes a really long way. Start as small as you like, and revisit the idea as often as you’re moved to!

5 Expert Tips for Exploring Your Kinkier Side

If you’ve led a relatively vanilla lifestyle from a sexual standpoint but are curious how the other half lives, you’re far from alone. Fifty Shades of Grey may have had its issues, but it left lots of people interested in expanding their horizons in the bedroom. Knowing you’re interested in exploring your kinkier side is one thing though. Figuring out where and how to start is another matter entirely.

Just know that even the hottest, sexiest kinkster you know had to start somewhere. If you decide kink is for you, you can get there too with time and practice. Here are some must-know tips for getting started in the right direction.

1.      Educate yourself about different types of kink.

There are more sexual categories to consider than just “vanilla” and “kinky”. The wide, wonderful world of kink covers quite a bit of territory. Some parts of it may be very appealing to you while others aren’t at all. That’s why every journey into kink territory should start with an education session.

Learn about the different kink categories out there and consider what each one is all about. There’s voyeurism, role-playing, BDSM, group sex, swinging, and lots of other options to explore. Figure out which ones appeal to you most and then take it from there.

2.      Get curious. Then get comfortable.

Part of the fun of kink is the rawness that comes with it. This is your chance to be genuinely honest with yourself about what turns you on and what feels good to you, both physically and mentally. Permit yourself to get curious and to seek satisfaction for that curiosity. Join social media platforms that cater to the kink-curious, jump into forum discussions, and talk to friends you know are into kink.

It’s important to fully accept what you learn about yourself in the process as well. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being kinky or having fetishes. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or that you’re a pervert. It means you’re a curious person who’s genuinely interested in growing sexually.

3.      Talk things out with your partner (if you have one).

If you’re single, there’s likely not much holding you back from exploring your interest in kink to whatever extent you like. If you have a partner though, you’ll have to have a frank discussion about your interest in kink should you decide to move forward with exploring it. This goes double if anything you’d like to try in the future involves bringing other people into the equation.

You know your partner best, so you likely have some idea of what type of reaction to expect. Are they comfortable with the idea of getting a little kinkier? How do they feel about the specific activities you’re interested in? Do they have any deal breakers that need to be considered? Where are their boundaries? Where are your boundaries? Once you figure out where you both stand on these issues, you’re ready to move forward.

4.      Start small and simple.

If both you and your partner are brand new to kink, know that you don’t need to go from vanilla to full speed right away. Most couples start with small, approachable changes and move into the racier stuff when they feel ready. Start with some dirty talk, some new positions, or a simple location change. Then when you’re ready, add some sex toys, like the Pyra butt plug, or some light role-playing.

When you’re 100 percent ready to explore serious BDSM, have a threesome, or spend an evening at a sex club – if you ever are — you’ll know. No rush though! There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to kink. So long as everyone involved fully consents to what’s going on, it’s all good.

5.      Follow up with your partner.

If there’s one thing that far too many couples overlook when it comes to exploring kink, it’s the follow-up. Anytime you try something new in the bedroom, it’s a good idea to check in with one another and talk openly about how everything went. Did you like what you tried after all is said and done? Did they? In what ways was the experience different than you each expected? Are you both interested in doing it again? Does either of you have any ideas on what you’d like to do differently (if anything) next time?

Not only does communicating in this way ensure you’re both on the same page at all times, but it’s a bonding experience as well. Plus the ability to speak frankly and openly without shame is key when it comes to being a kinkster, both now and in the future.

At the end of the day, everyone has a kinky side whether or not they talk about it or decide to explore it. Where you take yours is ultimately up to you, but it’s sure to be a wonderful journey if you’re up to the challenge.

5 Adventurous Sex Ideas Best Approached with Caution

While movies, television, and popular culture can be great sources of inspiration when it comes to your bedroom repertoire, some adventurous sex ideas translate into real life a lot better than others. There’s no need to remove them from your sexual bucket list just yet though. Just think them through thoroughly before you try them for best results.

1.      Having a One-Nighter

When you’re happily single or in between relationships, casual sex can be a terrific way to scratch that all-too-familiar itch without taking on a commitment you’re not ready for. If you’re new to going casual though, don’t just impulsively have a one-night stand on a whim. As sexy as they sound, one-nighters aren’t for everyone.

Have a one-nighter because the idea of casual sex sounds truly exciting to you. Don’t do it just to prove a point to yourself or someone else. Be prepared to be responsible about your sexual health as well. Don’t simply hope the other person will have protection on hand. Always carry your own on you and insist on using it.

2.      Getting Naughty in Public

If you’ve ever considered getting down and dirty with your partner (or even yourself) in public, you’re far from alone. Most people have at least fantasized about it at one time or another, but there’s a fine art to actually getting away with it. People can and do wind up with lasting sex offender records for public sex, so you don’t want to get caught.

The good news is you don’t have to get naughty in a super-conspicuous location to experience the rush public sex can bring to the table. Pick a place and time that carries a low risk of being spotted, like your enclosed back yard or patio late at night or early in the morning when your neighbors are almost surely in bed.

3.      Sexting

If it feels like most of your friends are into sexting these days, it’s probably because they are. It’s estimated that around half of all people at least occasionally use their trusty smartphones to send naughty IMs, spicy text, and even racy nudes. Sexting can be super-hot, not to mention a great way to keep sparks flying between you and someone special when you’re apart, but it’s always a good idea to proceed with caution any time you’re sending intimate information or images.

While it might not be the most adventurous sex idea, always consider the possible consequences if you accidentally sent a naughty text to the wrong person or it otherwise fell into the wrong hands. One person’s “a little embarrassing” could easily be another’s “life-ruining”, so choose your sexting partners with care as well. Unless you’re completely unbothered by the idea of your sexts or nudes possibly being shared around, it might be best to limit sexting to a long-time partner or really close friend-with-benefits.

4.      Indulging in a Three-Way

Like public sex, threesomes are common fantasy fuel for millions of people. Just don’t let the movies fool you into thinking they’re best experienced spontaneously in the heat of the moment. A threesome can be a wonderful way to experiment and push your sexual boundaries, but you may be putting your relationship at risk if you don’t thoroughly plan and discuss things first.

Make sure this is something you both want to do, because it’s sure to spell trouble for your relationship otherwise. Go over things like what’s off-limits for each of you and how you each want the event to go down. Choose a partner together. Agree that either of you can simply shut down what’s going on at any time if you’re uncomfortable as well.

5.      Shower Sex

As adventurous sex ideas goes, shower sex is unlikely to carry harmful repercussions for your relationship or social life if things don’t go as planned, it can find someone getting hurt if you’re not careful enough. Keep in mind that most showers mean working within pretty close quarters, so it’s a good idea to be limber enough to make it work. Don’t let the hot, wet circumstances cause a bad fall or any unfortunate slipping either.

Add some traction to the floor of your tub with some well-placed appliques or a removable grip mat. Handrails in strategic places can be real godsends as well. (Just make sure they’re securely installed.) Last but not least, double check that any adult toys you’d like to add to the mix are fully waterproof and that all seals are intact before bringing them along for the ride.

Although the movies never make it seem that way, a little planning and preparedness are the keys to outside-the-box thinking that takes adventurous sex over the top. Put it into play for yourself the next time you’re thinking of mixing things up!

The Logistics of Bringing Kink into the Bedroom

There’s something to be said for enjoying kink in practice, as opposed to only in your fantasies. However, thinking about kinking things up when it comes to your personal repertoire is one thing. Knowing where to start for best results is another issue altogether. Here’s a closer look at how you can know whether bringing your BDSM fantasies to life in your actual bedroom is really the right fit for you, as well as how to approach things should you decide that it is.

Is It Time to Get Kinky?

Sex is incredible for a lot of reasons, especially when it comes the sheer variety it can bring to the table. You can use it to connect to yourself or to another person in all sorts of exciting ways. You can use it to explore a multitude of different sensations, including pain and elevated stimulation. Kink can be a really exciting way to experiment with different power dynamics as well. However, some people are happier simply fantasizing about kink, and that’s Okay too.

Is kink something you and your partner have discussed? Is this something you both would like to explore together, as opposed to something only one of you really wants? Have you each done your homework regarding what you’d like to try, verified that you understand what’s involved, and decided you still want to proceed? If so, you’re definitely in the right head space to take things up a notch or two.

If you’re still not completely sure how to bring the topic up with a partner who may or may not be on board, start by testing the waters. Watch a sexy movie together that involves kink (like Secretary or Fifty Shades of Grey), use it as a conversation starter, and see how your partner reacts to the idea of kink in general. Alternatively, you can simply look for ways to work kink into your everyday conversations to get a read on where they stand. Then talk things out further when you’re ready.

Laying the Groundwork

Getting on the same page with your partner is a good start, but it’s still important to really prepare for your experience if you’re serious about getting the most out of it. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind.

Get specific.

Kink play covers a wide range of different sensations, experiences, and activities, so it’s important to really hash out what each of you wants to try before you just dive in. What are your exact, specific desires? What are theirs? If you’re not sure, you’ll want to find out, which you can do together if you like. (Watching porn, reading erotica, or even exploring a sex manual on kink together can help.)

Get super comfortable talking about it.

Open, comfortable dialogue is an absolute must when you’re engaging in kink play of any kind. For instance, consent is very important, but it’s hard to know whether you really have it if you’re not comfortable with frank, clear communication. It’s Okay if you’re shy. Practice makes perfect, so just get in the habit of communicating in more detail regarding sex, both in and out of the bedroom. Dirty talk is a great way to do this, as is talking casually about sex on an everyday basis.

Start tame and work your way up.

Even if you and your partner think you’re 100 percent comfortable dressing each other up in full BDSM gear and going straight for the heavy kink right away, it’s better to start light and go from there. Role play is a good place for most couples to start. Creative play that involves different kinds of sex toys is another. Light spanking, restraint, and sight deprivation are still more relatively approachable ways to introduce yourselves to the world of kink and discover what you both like.

Have a safe word.

Any time you’re experimenting in the bedroom, you should have a safe word picked out – something either of you can say at any time to immediately shut down whatever’s happening, no questions asked. To avoid confusion, it should be something that’s extremely unlikely to be said in a sexual context – “paprikash” as opposed to “pussy”, for example.

Communicate during and after.

Communication is just as important during and after kink play as it is before. While you’re playing, actively let your partner know if something does or doesn’t feel good. Then discuss your experience together after you’re done. Did both of you get what you wanted? Was it what you expected it to be? Do you both want to try it again sometime (or something similar)? What would you do differently?

The key to kink play that satisfies truly is communication, honesty, and plenty of both. Start exploring the possibilities today, and see where your play takes you.

Why You Should Date a Kinky Person at Least Once

There are two types of people in the world. The first type instinctively feels apprehensive when someone brings up the fact that they have a kink or a fetish. The second type truly believes that “anything goes” and is usually willing to try just about anything on for size once just to see what it’s like. Of course, no one should ever feel pressured to do something they’re truly uncomfortable with, but there’s definitely something to be said for being open-minded when it comes to kink. The following are just a few ways giving in to your curiosity about what it’s like to date a kinkster can be truly awesome.

  1. It’s genuinely liberating.

It goes without saying that living life as part of polite society comes with its fair share of rules and regulations you need to follow. However, always following the rules and doing only what others have decided is socially acceptable can get tiresome after a while. Thankfully, the bedroom is one place where consenting adults can more or less do whatever they like.

Bringing someone with a fetish or kink into the mix can make things even more delicious in a couple of ways. To begin with, it’s incredibly erotic to know you’re seeing a part of this person that not everyone necessarily knows is there. You also officially have the green light to discover an entirely new side of your own sexual self as well.

  1. You might see yourself in an entirely new light.

Exploring another person’s kink with them can be a truly interesting way to open yourself up to new sexual horizons, especially if you’re dating such a person for the first time. You never know what you might come to really like if you give it a try. (Even if it turns out not to be your cup of tea, you still get to say you tried it.)

The right fetish or turn-on might even allow you to see yourself in an entirely new light. For instance, maybe you’re totally self-conscious about a particular part of your body. Dating someone who’s particularly fond of that part to the point of wanting to worship it just might teach you a new way to see it. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

  1. It’s intimacy on an entirely new level.

If you’re the adventurous sort, dating someone with a fetish (especially for the first time) can be seriously exciting. Seeing your lover so turned on over something so new to you is likely to be incredibly sexy. If the two of you decide you like each other enough to keep seeing each other, you’ll love how deep your bond becomes as well, especially over time.

People with kinks and fetishes don’t necessarily tell anyone and everyone about them. They likely don’t even open up to every sexual partner they have. If they’ve opened up to you and asked you to share this with them, it’s a sign that they trust you and are comfortable enough to let them see an incredibly vulnerable side of who they are. That type of connection can potentially lay the groundwork for something very special and potentially life-changing.

  1. You’ll love how accepted you feel.

Even the most confident people tend to worry about being 100 percent accepted for everything that they are when entering into a new relationship or getting used to a new sexual partner. People who have fetishes or who are otherwise a little on the kinky side are more than used to how it feels to be rejected or judged simply for being who they are, so they’re a lot less likely to do it to someone else.

That said, you’re likely to find out what it’s like to be able to be completely yourself in a sexual relationship. A kinky partner isn’t going to be the type who has issues with your massive collection of giant dildos. They’re also infinitely less likely to not want to go along with it if there’s something you’ve always wanted to try in the bedroom. In fact, they’ll probably be pretty eager to hear all about it.

  1. The sex will never be boring.

Kinksters have a way of not falling into the same sexual ruts that can plague other people. These are people that see sex as the fine art that it can be, and most are endlessly enthusiastic about it for that reason. If you’re game, you could well be embarking on a truly exciting journey that takes both of you to interesting new places you never imagined were possible.

At the end of the day, kinks and fetishes are nothing to be ashamed of or intimidated by. They’re simply different ways of exploring one’s sexuality and identity as a sexual being. Why not explore the possibilities?

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