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How Can You Tell If You’ve Had An Orgasm?

Have you ever watched a sex scene in a movie and wondered if that’s what an orgasm should be like?  And then thought that perhaps you were doing it all wrong?

If so, you’re definitely not alone. Media portrayals of sex can often leave us feeling perplexed and questioning our own experiences—not only how we appear and sound but also whether we’re “doing it right” or even having an orgasm at all! 

So let’s be frank, pop culture doesn’t depict orgasms accurately, often leading us to believe that orgasms involve a large amount of shouting and dramatic shaking and occur instantly (without clitoral stimulation!)

Although some orgasms can look like this…it’s just a small sample! So, if what you see in movies isn’t entirely accurate, how can you tell if you’ve had an orgasm if your experience doesn’t match up?

It’s ironic that in a culture that frequently discusses the topic of orgasms, we rarely dive into the specifics of what happens in the body during one. 

In this article, we’ll explore the wonders of orgasm and how you can tell if you’ve had one—let’s get started!

 

What exactly is an orgasm?

An orgasm is described as changes in the body caused by the intense pleasure that increases pulse rate and blood pressure. Orgasms can also produce pelvic muscle spasms, which cause vaginal contractions and urethral contractions in penises.

Regardless of gender, an orgasm is generated by the same thing in everyone: stimulation. Sometimes it’s genital stimulation; other times, it may be breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.

One of the most desired aspects of orgasm is the release of feel-good hormones. After climax, dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body leaving you calm, tranquil, satisfied and attached to your lover.

Although we’re still discovering how the human body experiences pleasure and orgasm, we have learned a thing or two. For starters, only 18% of persons with vaginas can orgasm only through intercourse, according to a 2015 study. Furthermore, most people with vaginas require clitoral stimulation, either alone or together with penetration.

Even those experiencing orgasms during penetration have the clitoris to thank. (Most scientists will confirm that all orgasms involve the clitoris, regardless of where the stimulation occurs!)

It’s also worth noting that some folks simply cannot orgasm. (And, yes, this is also perfectly normal) But that doesn’t mean that you don’t benefit from sex! Several studies demonstrate that climax is not required to have a truly happy and fulfilling sex life. Instead, it should be thought of as ‘the icing on the cake’.

 

There are different kinds of orgasms

Many people are surprised to learn that orgasms actually happen in our brains, not our genitals. And even though our skin is the largest sexual organ, our brain is the most important.

While scientists are still debating whether different types of genital orgasms exist (think clitoral, A-spot, G-spot, etc.), they do know there are other ways to come that don’t entail touching anything below the belt:

  • Nipple play: When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is produced, causing the same uterine and vaginal contractions as orgasm. 

 

  • While fantasizing: Some people can “think” themselves into orgasm by imagining a stimulating situation and allowing their minds to wander.

 

  • While exercising: Also known as a “coregasm” some people can orgasm while practicing yoga or doing core workouts.

 

  • While sleeping: Because orgasms occur in our brains, which are super active at night, people of all genders can climax while sleeping. There’s no method to it, but it makes for a lovely night’s sleep when it happens.

 

  • A skin orgasm: Also referred to as “frisson,” skin orgasms are the tingles you feel when listening to a great song or watching an incredible scene. It can feel like goosebumps or a slight shiver down your arms.

Tell If You've Had An Orgasm

How you can tell if you’ve had an orgasm

An orgasm can seem like a sensual trance and generate a state of sexual euphoria that you might feel both physically and psychologically. Heightened sexual excitement and fulfillment are sensed and then followed by calm. 

Did you know that various bodily cues can alert you if you’re on your way? When you are aroused, your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes faster, your nipples are erect, and your genitals are engorged with blood. These sensations intensify as arousal rises until you climax.

Orgasms may make you feel calm, but they can also make you sleepy. According to one 2019 study, participants who experienced an orgasm before bedtime reported getting a better night’s sleep. Additional research is required to prove the link, but the authors of this study believe we can thank oxytocin.

 

How to have an orgasmic experience

If you aren’t climaxing, you could learn to do so by becoming more familiar with your body and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Experts all agree that solo play is an excellent place to start. By adjusting your touch and intensity, try out different masturbation techniques to see what feels good.

It also helps to concentrate on how you feel in the moment rather than solely thinking about obtaining an orgasm. Deep breathing is a terrific technique to let go of distracting ideas.

You’ll be able to communicate more effectively with your partner about what gets you off once you’ve mastered your own domain. If you want to climax through penetration, consider the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), which allows you to simultaneously compress the shaft of the penis (or toy) between your thighs, grind your clitoris against the pelvis bone, and experience the snug fit of penetration.

Tips for an even better orgasm

Tips for an even better orgasm

If you’re keen to experiment or just want to spice things up, don’t be hesitant to introduce toys into the mix. Experiment with rabbit vibrators, like the Booster Rabbit or Delola. Both of these vibes are guaranteed to get all the juices flowing.

It’s possible that combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation can increase the intensity of your orgasm. 

Finding toys that fit you and your body can be its own exciting type of foreplay, whether you do it alone or with a partner, so don’t be hesitant to incorporate them into the mix and go on a small shopping spree.

Regardless, it’s vital to understand that not everyone can experience orgasm (with or without a partner), and that’s OK!! 

Open communication with your partner and consulting a sex therapist can assist, but the fun of sex lies in the discovery, which often includes so much more than an orgasm! 

So, relax and enjoy yourself…and let the orgasmic magic find you✨

 

Why Every Man Should Have a Prostate Orgasm Once in Their Lifetime

A step-by-step playbook to guide you and your partner in your journey into an outer body orgasmic experience.

Did you know that by stimulating the prostate, you may intensify and prolong the pleasure for a guy? Well, ladies and gentlemen, start the presses because you most certainly can.

While penile orgasms are fantastic, that’s not all there is to men’s enjoyment.  Another organ, when stimulated, may cause spectacular full-body orgasms that push the boundaries of what male pleasure can be. 

Everyone, meet the prostate! Commonly referred to as a gentleman’s G-spot, because of the intense, unique type of climax it may cause, this walnut-sized gland is responsible for producing part of the fluid that makes up semen.

Intrigued?

In this article, we’ll provide a step-by-step guide to finding this backdoor wonder, how to bring his body to orgasm, and the potential benefits.

What is a Prostate orgasm?

A prostate orgasm or “prostate milking” is a form of prostate stimulation or massage for sexual pleasure; however, this massage may have other advantages. 

(FYI: It’s called prostate “milking” not because the ejaculate looks like milk, but because of the movement used. So, just like milking a cow requires manual manipulation of the udder.)

It’s important to note that, while massaging the prostate generally produces a thin fluid called prostate fluid, many men report having intense multiple orgasms without shedding a drop of semen. (And here we thought that women were the only ones capable of multiple orgasms!) 

The use of therapeutic prostate massage dates back to at least the late nineteenth century when doctors began using it to treat prostatitis or prostate inflammation. Today, “prostate milking” mainly refers to sexual stimulation of the prostate, but “prostate massage” can refer to either sexual or therapeutic stimulation of the prostate.

Who can have a prostate orgasm?

Everyone with a prostate!

All people with prostates, regardless of sexual orientation or relationship status, can enjoy this type of stimulation. 

Furthermore, while prostate stimulation may be thought of as something older men have to do at their doctors’ advice, it may be fun for everyone and extremely gratifying regardless of age.

 

Why-Every-Man-Should-Have-a-Prostate-Orgasm-Once-in-Their-Lifetime-prostate-anatomy.jpg

How do you find the prostate?

The location of the prostate (or P-spot) is generally the first thing people wonder about when prostate play comes up.  While it is not always visible straight away, it’s not difficult to identify within the body. There are two ways to find this pleasure treasure. 

Externally

External prostate access is a less direct approach, but it is ideal for those not yet ready for anal penetration. To locate it, gently push the perineum (the region between the anus and the testicles) until you feel a solid protrusion. 

The perineum is firmer near the front of the penile bulb, which is the inner ending of the shaft, and it feels softer and fleshier toward the back. This is the area you’re aiming for. You may not feel the gland, but touching it will likely cause the sensation of needing to pee. Stroke it with your fingers or a toy from the outside once you’ve felt it via the perineum.

Internally

The prostate can be found about 3 or 4 inches within the rectum, just beneath the bladder.  It’s about an inch wide and feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue on the front wall of the rectal lining, almost the feel of a soft walnut or a ripe plum.  

The prostate usually has a different texture than the rest of the rectum, so you should be able to feel it, especially if the individual is turned on. During arousal, the prostate begins to expand with blood and fluid, making it bigger and firmer.

How to Enjoy a Prostate Orgasm

1. Communication and consent

While many people may think that prostate play is the best thing since sliced bread, it is NEVER a welcome surprise when the individual is unaware it’s coming. And while we don’t know you personally,  we’re betting that you wouldn’t want someone randomly shoving their finger or toy up your butt without your knowledge or consent! Therefore do unto others’ bums as you’d have them do to yours and ask first.

You never know; your spouse may have some experience in this area and may also be able to offer advice. (Conversely, you might potentially be working with someone who has never done anything like this before.)  

Regardless, it’s critical to communicate so you can deliver the most appropriate touch. If you’re being penetrated, make sure to communicate any boundaries and needs — not everyone is a certified prostate massage guru. The more you share about what feels good, the better equipped your partner will be to do a good job.

Or, if you’re having fun on your own – you can skip this step… obtain approval from yourself and discover what feels good and what doesn’t.

That works well too!

2. Preparation

Relaxation forms a big part of having a prostate orgasm. Knowing you’ve taken the required precautions to ensure it happens comfortably and without any unpleasant surprises is a big part of relaxation.

In saying that — you might want to douche ahead of time.

While some individuals possess mystical intuition concerning the cleanliness of their rectums at any given moment, the majority of us won’t be 100% certain if the coast is clear down there or not. 

If you’re unsure, a brief douche or enema before you begin playing might be beneficial. This will clear the rectum, allowing you to concentrate on what’s going into the rectum rather than what’s coming out.  

Since the skin around the anus is thin, delicate, and easily torn, ensure that your fingernails are trimmed and clean.

It might be handy to have some paper towels and latex gloves on hand should you have any concerns about cleanliness.

3. Warming up

Prostate pleasure is primarily determined by how relaxed the anus and rectum are during penetration. When a person is frightened or uncomfortable, the anal sphincter tightens, making penetration unpleasant. 

Their prostate is also likely to be smaller and the experience less pleasurable. So, for the best chance at a prostate orgasm, the person being penetrated (and their anus) should be calm, comfortable, and aroused. The more at ease and relaxed they are, the more relaxed their anal muscles will be, and their prostate will become more apparent and sensitive.

Warm up by giving yourself or your partner a sensual body massage on whatever parts of your body feel comfortable to touch, starting by playing with various erogenous zones such as the nipples, necks, and genitals before heading towards the buttocks.  Massage the buttocks and external anal area with long, gentle grazes and strokes until your partner melts into your hands. 

If it’s your thing, a little spanking with a hand, crop, or paddle can also help. Warming up in this manner will enhance circulation to your partner’s anal region, allowing them to relax. 

It also demonstrates that you are concerned with their pleasure and comfort – you are here for their entire body, not just the glorious thing within their rectum. Do whatever it takes to feel both comfortable and stimulated. 

4. Remember the lube

Since the anus, rectum, and prostate do not self-lubricate, you’re going to have to keep things slippery yourself. Lubrication is essential for any form of penetrative anal play since it prevents delicate tissues from tearing and enhances pleasurable sensations.  

It also makes introducing anything into the anus — and subsequently withdrawing it — simpler and more pleasant. Apply a copious amount of good-quality lubrication to both the anus and whatever is being used to penetrate it before you begin. 

5. Stimulating the P-spot

What occurs next mostly depends on whether you’re stimulating the prostate with a toy, your fingers, or your penis. Still, in general, the safest approach is to gently put whatever you’re inserting into the anus and stop after it’s approximately 3-ish inches in. If you’re using something with a curved head, position it so that the curve is facing forward (towards the navel.) 

The curvature should either fit naturally around the prostate or provide direct pressure on it. Adjust as needed. If what you’re using lacks a curvature, tilt it slightly towards the navel or adjust it about until you or your partner can feel it on the prostate. 

Curve your fingers and feel about until you detect a plump, ridged protrusion with a distinct texture from the rest of the rectum. That’s right; it’s the prostate! 

The prostate comprises the left and right lobes. It’s better to begin by working the left lobe from left to right, deep to superficial, and then the right lobe. Repeat as desired by your partner, but make sure you’re not going for hours or really shoving your fingers up there since this will certainly create much discomfort.

 

Why Every Man Should Have a Prostate Orgasm Once in Their Lifetime - male orgasm

Try these terrific techniques for prostate stimulation

To determine what feels best, you’ll probably need to attempt a few different moves and experiment with pressure and speed.

Here are several approaches to try, whether you’re playing with your fingers or with toys.

Using your finger

  • Come here

Insert your lubed index finger gently into the anus and curve it upward in a “come hither” motion toward the navel. Continue the action, gradually increasing your pace as the pleasure grows.

  • Circling

Run the pad of your finger around the prostate and along the whole circumference of the gland. Change the pressure and pace and stick with the combination that feels the greatest, allowing the pleasure to build up.

  • Doorbell

Place your finger pad on the outside of the prostate and apply light pressure as if ringing a doorbell. To find out what works, experiment with different pressures or holding the press for shorter and longer times. When entering the anus, you can also employ the doorbell approach. 

  • Pulsing

Others prefer to clench and unclench their kegel muscles, pulsing what’s penetrating them against their prostate in a sort of knocking manner (which is actually what proctologists recommend people do with toys for prostate health.)

  • Vibration 

Any nice motion may be sped up to the point of feeling like a vibrator. This can be a little taxing on the wrist after a time, so keep this type of pace for when orgasm is imminent.

Using a massager, strap-on, or other sex devices

When playing with sex toys, you can really spice things up by experimenting with different vibration settings, as well as pressure and depth. (When it comes to activating the sensitive P-spot, check out these awesome options!)

  • Pressure

Controlling pressure with a toy is easy, especially when playing alone. Try pressing the toy against the prostate with increasing or decreasing pressure until you locate the sweet spot.

  • Vibrations

Prostate massagers with different speed and pulse settings. Experiment with the various settings to discover your favorite. As you come closer to climax, increase the vibrations.

  • Depth

Depth is another area where toys excel since reaching might make it difficult to get deep, which is what you seek. Try out different sizes of anal toys, or acquire a longer one that you can put as deep as your bottom demands.

Continue with this sort of stimulation until the climax is reached. However, pleasure is simply one of the perks of prostate play. Massaging and stimulating that area regularly helps flush out the prostate, enhance blood flow to the pelvic floor, and strengthen the pelvic muscles, all of which can reduce impotence and help prevent prostate cancer. 

In reality, prostate massage, often known as “prostate milking,” is something that many proctologists suggest to their patients to maintain a healthy, functioning prostate.

Aside from the intensity of the orgasms they can produce and the novelty of a new type of pleasure, the most intriguing element of prostates has to be their ability to deliver multiple orgasms. 

Because prostate orgasms can occur without ejaculation — a phenomenon known as “dry orgasm” — they do not experience the same refractory period that prohibits males from orgasming again. In other words, they can keep going all night long!

Attaining prostate nirvana

Just like the feeling of orgasm differs between the clitoris and the G-spot, the type of orgasm differs between the penis and the prostate. It’s not like a penile orgasm (although it may be accompanied by one.) Instead, it’s its own distinctive experience that can be a lot of fun to discover. 

Many people find it exhilarating to know that they can have an orgasm from more than one erogenous zone, and it can be liberating to have the weight of your sexual expression distributed over body regions other than the penis.

Anal play isn’t for everyone, but if you’re ready to give it a go, the reward might be an incredible full-body orgasm. Consent and safety are paramount, so after you’ve established that, you can move on to the fun part: playing with your fingers, toys, and anything else that titillates your curiosity.

The Magic of the female orgasm: Five reasons why you should prioritize regular orgasms

Have you ever pondered: Why do orgasms feel so good?

The question is pretty straightforward; the answer, however, is a little trickier. Whether you get there with a partner or with the help of a sex toy, we all know that some orgasms just hit the spot differently. But, why?

According to recent Pleasure Center statistics, women require an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex to hit the Magic O – compared to an average of 8 minutes during masturbation. So, does this mean that there are different kinds of orgasms? The short answer – of course! 

When we have sex, what we experience physically sends information through our nerves to our brain which, in turn, responds by creating hormones that increase our pleasure. As a result, the term “post-orgasm glow” was coined to describe the euphoric sensation you feel after having great sex.

YES! YES! YES!

First and most importantly, what exactly is an orgasm?

When a woman is aroused, blood rushes to the clitoris, vagina, and nipples, causing a full-body sexual flush, while the pulse rate and blood pressure rise. This creates a warm sensation that generally emerges from the pelvis and extends throughout the body.

Funn Fact: At the moment of orgasm, certain areas of your brain that control emotion shut down. The area that processes fear is deactivated, and your ‘vigilance for danger’ switch also turns off momentarily.

Orgasms can vary in intensity, differ by sex position, and feel different for everyone. The female orgasm is not just an emotional and psychological response, but also a physiological one. Essentially, orgasms are a bodily phenomenon that varies from person to person. 

Have you noticed a difference in the intensity of your orgasms from month to month? That’s also normal! It can change depending on a variety of things, such as your bond with your partner, sexual arousal, and so on. Have you recently learned how to talk about a fetish and are interested in trying out bondage, pegging, or watching porn? 

It’s possible these factors could influence the intensity of your orgasms. Similarly, re-learning how to be intimate with your lover may make the experience more intense and special.

Types of orgasm

The two most common forms of orgasm are clitoral and vaginal.

Many female orgasms are caused by clitoral stimulation — this is the most prevalent type of orgasm in women. According to Live Science, researchers have now found evidence that these two main types of orgasms (FYI, we’re not kidding, there are other types of orgasms, such as coregasms!) are separate phenomena.

Some experts also believe that the front wall of the vagina is intrinsically related to the clitoris, making it difficult to stimulate the vagina without simultaneously activating the clitoris.  Brain scans of masturbating women show that various orgasms stimulate distinct sensory cortexes in the brain. 

This could explain why women who suffer spinal cord injuries (disrupting communication between the clitoris and the brain) can still have orgasms when stimulated vaginally. 

Women who have regular orgasms tend to have lower resting heart rates and are less prone to employ maladaptive psychological coping methods than those who do not; while stimulating the elusive g-spot (through vaginal rather than clitoral stimulation) raises a woman’s pain threshold. 

Emmanuele Jannini, professor of Medical Sexology, says that a woman should understand her own body, but should not regard an orgasm as a race. He adds: “Seeing the vaginal orgasm as a must, as a duty, is the most effective way to lose the happiness of sex!”

Funn Fact: Approximately 70% of women have faked an orgasm. However, there are several surefire ways that your partner can spot whether it’s genuine. These include retraction of the clitoral hood shortly before orgasm, a racing heart, dilated pupils, and spasms in the vaginal muscles. It’s really hard to believe that the fairer sex has gotten away with it for so long!

Come as you are, er, as you can…

Your brain produces oxytocin during orgasm. This is a ‘feel-good’ hormone involved in social bonding, which partially explains why orgasms may feel so fantastic and bring you closer to the person with whom you had them. 

Similarly, because orgasms are so satisfying, some people utilize coupled sex or masturbation to alleviate chronic stress symptoms. Since oxytocin promotes relaxation, climaxing may make it simpler to wind down after a long stressful day.

According to research conducted by neurologist Adam Safron, rhythmic stimulation affects your brain activity during climax, which explains why orgasms may feel so darn good! Without getting too technical, sexual stimulation basically focuses our neurons to the point that we enter a trance-like state. This meditative state enables us to focus entirely on the pleasurable sensation. 

Now, that’s taking the meaning of mind-blowing orgasm to a whole new level!

After reviewing related studies, Dr Safron developed a model demonstrating how rhythmic sexual activity affects brain rhythms. Stimulating certain nerves in a specific way and at a specific pace, in a continuous motion, drives our neurons to focus on the activity and synchronize their activity to it. So, effectively, our neurons join in on the fun. As the stimulation continues, this synchronization extends throughout the brain, allowing it to concentrate exclusively on the experience the body is feeling. This is referred to as neural entertainment, (which seems rather apt, if you ask us!)

But, while all this sciencey stuff is great, let’s get to the real reason why you’ve kept reading:

Five fabulous reasons why you should prioritize regular orgasms

1. You’ll feel relaxed

As anyone who has ever been rendered speechless following an earth-shattering orgasm will confirm, they possess some pretty strong sedative properties. That’s because climaxing increases prolactin levels, a potent relaxant hormone that, when paired with the endorphins, can induce sleepiness.

2. Orgasms have the potential to boost your mental health.

During sexual stimulation and orgasm, the brain produces, and releases molecules called neurotransmitters and neuropeptides. These substances are beneficial to your general physical and mental well-being. According to researchers, these chemicals can help alleviate stress, improve sleep, boost immunity, and elevate mood.

3. Orgasms can promote a healthy body image.

Have you ever thought about how body image could be connected to sexual health? Well, it turns out that these two concepts are far more intertwined than we may think. Our body image can have a major impact on our mental health, which in turn, influences our behavior toward ourselves and others. A positive self-image and self-love may be promoted via more fulfilling orgasms, which can improve your sexual functioning and sex in general.

4. Orgasms are great for your skin

Since orgasms increase oxytocin (a hormone that communicates pleasure) and reduce cortisol (a hormone that signals stress), you’re less likely to break out or develop rashes if you have regular orgasms. The Big O also has some instant skin benefits. Orgasms produce a radiant flush on the face by boosting blood and oxygen flow to it. You may even notice that your increased oxygen intake stimulates collagen formation – say hello to collagen and goodbye to fine lines and wrinkles!

5. Orgasms keep things healthy down there

Finally, when you have an orgasm, blood and nutrients flow to your vagina, which helps maintain things down there in good working order. It has also been reported that women who orgasm once a week are more likely to have regular menstrual cycles that last 26 to 33 days than those who have less or more irregular sex. 

Healthy vagina = happy vagina!

There you have it … make pleasure a priority! 

 

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