For all the progress made to dismantle various sexual stigmas, period sex is still one that remains taboo.
Period sex has long been stigmatized as disgusting or unclean, but fortunately, attitudes are changing. According to a survey of over 4,000 people, 38% of men and 31% of women are interested in having sex during menstruation.
Whether you’re apprehensive about entering the realm of period sex for the first time or have been a fan for years (but you’re still concerned about the logistics)—don’t stress! There’s an array of compelling reasons to relish the delights of sex during your period.
Many of us experience a surge of hormones during our periods and are, in fact, more turned on during our periods. In a poll of over 500 participants, 30% of women said they wanted to have more sex during their period than at any other time.
If you yearn to have a normal sex life during “that time of the month,” as your mom called it, but aren’t too sure how to avoid some of the messier parts, we have some tips and tricks for you.
Here is everything you need to know about going au natural and for your partner to earn their “red wings”.
Can you have actual sex on your period?
First things first, many people still wonder if you can have vaginal sex while on your period. The answer is an emphatic yes! And to top it off, it can be REALLY pleasurable.
Hormonal changes cause increased arousal and sensitivity during a menstrual period (such as increased estrogen and decreased progesterone levels). “Your vagina is more open and receptive at this time, so if there was a position you were trying to do, but it didn’t work so well in the past, now is the time,” says Carlen Costa, a sexologist and relationship expert.
… plus, there are health benefits!
One of the best things about period sex is that it can assist with some of the more annoying symptoms that occur during your period.
Since our bodies release oxytocin and endorphins when we orgasm (these are natural pain relievers), having period sex can significantly reduce menstrual pains and headaches!
So, as bizarre as it may sound, try having an orgasm before reaching for ibuprofen to deal with period pains and migraines! Also, once you get used to the idea of ‘colored lube’, menstrual blood can provide excellent natural lubrication.
Now, there are some risks involved. The pH of your vaginal fluid fluctuates throughout your period, throwing off the delicate lactobacilli equilibrium.
One function of the cervix is to protect your uterus from bacteria that may enter the vagina during intercourse. When you’re menstruating, it opens slightly to allow the uterus to shed. This opens a small gateway for bacteria to enter the uterus, increasing the possibility of infection.
So, even if you’re in a committed relationship, you still need to use barrier methods like condoms and/or dental dams during period sex.
Oral sex is always an option
It is totally safe to have oral sex during your period. Your greatest fear is probably the mess, but luckily, there are a variety of solutions available, such as menstruation cups and menstrual discs.
If you want to avoid a mess or any sort of contact with menstrual blood, stick to the clitoris. Simply leave your tampon in and have your partner focus on the outside. There’s no need to snip the string or try to conceal your menstruation. Periods happen.
Yes, you CAN still get pregnant!
Another thing to consider is the possibility of pregnancy and using contraception. Myths about not being able to get pregnant while on your period are entirely bogus.
While it may seem unlikely, your ovulation cycle is influenced by various variables, and each cycle differs from one menstruator to the next. Ovulation usually occurs 7 to 12 days following the start of your last period; however, sperm can survive for up to seven days inside the body.
This means you could ovulate while still carrying live sperm in your body.
So for clarity’s sake, we’ll say it again…While your risk of conception is low, you should still practice safe sex while on your period to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
There will be a mess. Period.
It always comes down to “the mess”, right? Yep, humans can have some rather strange reactions to blood. The notion of blood oozing from a vagina contradicts the cultural narrative of “feminine hygiene.”
But mess comes with the territory when it comes to period sex! It doesn’t matter if you’re having your heaviest or lightest period – if you’re menstruating, there will be some menstrual blood. Accepting this fact is the first step.
Before you have period sex, it’s a good idea to discuss it with your partner. As natural as period sex should be, it can be pretty jarring for both partners if you’ve never done it before. Once you’ve told your partner about the issue, you can devise your plan of action.
Keep mess to a minimum with these period sex tips
OK, so you’ll be relieved to hear that you won’t need to wallpaper your bedroom in plastic like a scene straight out of Dexter, but there are a few things you can do to avoid the mess.
Use dark-colored towels
This is a pretty simple solution. Place a brown or black towel down on the bed (just remember to label these as your period sex towels and store them in the back of your closet!)
Shower water, ironically, makes your vagina less wet by washing away your body’s natural lubricant. However, there is so much extra wetness during period shower sex that this problem is nearly removed. Furthermore, the blood simply washes away. No mess, no fuss!
Try using a menstrual disc
Unlike menstrual cups or tampons, menstruation discs can be worn during intercourse. The flexible disks are placed into the vaginal canal like a tampon, but they sit higher up in your vagina, at the vaginal fornix. This allows for penetrative sex without the blood.
Experiment with different positions
Some women experience increased pelvic congestion during their period, which is a heaviness that [may] trigger arousal. This is why some women report desiring more sex during their period.
Gentle positions like spooning can be a great way to enjoy sex, but otherwise, you can experiment with the depth of penetration and different angles to see what works best for you.
Get a lil kinky
Explore some of the more surprising erogenous zones to get things going. By “surprising”, we mean the ears, hands, stomach, and even the bottoms of the feet.
You could even get your kink on and use a blindfold to heighten every sense. You don’t have to go Fifty Shades of Gray kinky with all sorts of leather contraptions—use your shirt and place it over your partner’s eyes, then pin their hands and tell them they can’t move or peek.
Every sense will be heightened… pure ecstasy!
Or you could embrace the mess!?
Blood has a primal and animalistic quality about it. If you and your partner are OK with it and you can stomach the sight of blood (or, conversely, if it turns you on, no judgment here!), then there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be business as usual. Sheets can always be washed or bleached!
Also, in case you forgot, your sex toys can be washed—so there’s no need to leave them out of the action. All our Femme Funn toys are composed of premium materials that you can safely wash in warm water with soap.
Adopt the ‘try everything once’ mindset
Giving period sex a try can be an exciting opportunity for many couples who haven’t experienced it before to overcome a fear of the unknown. If you haven’t tried having sex while on your period yet, you might discover that you enjoy it.
You never know; you may love it (and if you don’t, you won’t have to do it again). But until you and your partner have set off on an adventure to part the red sea, you’ll never really know or experience the depths of the beautiful promised land.