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What is Vaginismus & how can you overcome it?

We all want and expect that sex will feel great and bring pleasure. The truth is, though, that it’s very common for some vulva owners to feel pain during sex. For some, the discomfort is so severe that they are physically unable to have sex. 

If this sounds like you, you could have Vaginismus, a condition that causes the muscles around the vagina to spasm on their own. This makes penetration very painful and, in many cases, impossible.

Despite affecting almost 12–21% of vulva owners in North America, Vaginismus is rarely talked about. As a result, many individuals are left for years not knowing what’s going on with their bodies or how to rectify it.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel for those with the condition, and there are treatments that, with time and effort, can make sex possible and pleasurable. 

The most important thing is to recognize that you have it, which can be extremely difficult if you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about it with other people. Here’s what you should know about Vaginismus.

What is Vaginismus?

This medical condition is characterized by uncontrollable pelvic floor muscular contractions, spasms, and cramps. This might be tightness, cramping, pressure, or discomfort.

These involuntary contractions are usually linked to stimuli (either psychological or physical), such as an anxiety or trauma reaction to sexual penetration or simply an involuntary non-psychological response to pressure or touch in that area.

This can make sexual activity, tampon use, and even a gynecological checkup unpleasant or even impossible.

The pubococcygeus (PC) musculature is the most commonly afflicted muscle group by this ailment (responsible for orgasms, intercourse, bowel movements, urination, and childbirth).

Facts About Vaginismus

  • The condition may worsen with time, but it is curable.
  • It is non-contagious and involuntary (not your fault).
  • Symptoms, severity, and type might differ from person to person.
  • Both medical and psychological reasons can cause Vaginismus.
  • Treatment can be beneficial. 

Do I suffer from Vaginismus?

Although only a medical practitioner can provide an official diagnosis of Vaginismus, many crucial signs may suggest you have this condition. Should you encounter any of these symptoms, consider seeking the advice of a licensed medical professional.

Just know that, while it’s tough to discuss, the situation is more prevalent than you think, and you’re not alone. Your body is communicating with you for a reason. Listen to it, and you’ll be one step closer to conquering any difficulties you’re facing.

Do I suffer from Vaginismus

Types of Vaginismus

1. Primary

The primary type, often known as “lifelong vaginismus,” causes pain and discomfort whenever something penetrates (or attempts to penetrate) the vagina.

People who have the primary type have always had the condition. It is usually first felt when attempting to use a tampon, having first-time intercourse, or when a doctor performs a pelvic examination.

2. Secondary

Secondary vaginismus patients have previously accomplished painless penetration. A life event, change in medical status, new health condition, or life stress may occur, making penetration difficult.

People with this type of Vaginismus may suffer pain or difficulties following penetration.

What are the Symptoms and Signs of Vaginismus?

Dyspareunia (painful sex) is the most common symptom of Vaginismus and is frequently the first sign of a problem. Although the discomfort associated with intercourse usually subsides when the penetration (or attempted penetration) is completed, this is not always the case.

Many women describe the discomfort as a burning sensation, pressure, or as if the penis has hit a block. Women suffering from Vaginismus may also experience bleeding. 

However, sexual intercourse is not the only source of pain. It is usual to experience pain or discomfort when using a tampon or during pelvic examinations.

Other common symptoms are as follows:

  • Inability to insert a tampon
  • Inability to insert a sex toy 
  • Sexual activity-related fear or pain
  • Loss of sexual desire or performance anxiety
  • Pelvic or wall muscle spasms 
  • Hypertonic pelvic floor: unpleasant or painful, lengthy, persistent contractions
  • Hip, hamstring, low back, and abdominal muscular tension

Symptoms might be minor to severe, are involuntary, and may not improve without intervention or therapy.

Vaginismus can cause significant emotional and psychological discomfort, lowering the quality of life and making it difficult to maintain healthy sexual relationships.

What to do if you have Vaginismus

If you suspect you have Vaginismus, the first step is to see your doctor; don’t be shy to request a female doctor if it helps you feel more at ease.

The examination may be uncomfortable, but your doctor will talk you through it and explain everything. To better understand your discomfort, they’ll ask you a few questions about when you feel pain. They’ll also check if your symptoms indicate anything else, such as a urinary tract infection (UTI).

If you have Vaginismus, several therapies are available, and it may take some time to discover the one (or combination of treatments) that works best for you. Four out of five people can enjoy pain-free intercourse after vaginismus treatment.

Treatment options include:

Vaginal Dilators

A vaginal dilator is a plastic or silicone rod used to relax and reduce discomfort in the pelvic floor muscles. Think of it like a medical dildo!

You gently insert the dilator (with lube) each week for a few minutes. You may work at your speed and gradually increase to a larger dilator when ready. Involving a partner may be a terrific way to establish closeness, but remember that you’ll need to be in charge of the situation.

Exercises

Exercises

Exercise might help you regain control of your muscles if you suffer from Vaginismus. Pelvic floor stretches, similar to yoga, can help you strengthen the muscles surrounding your vagina.

Vaginismus Exercises You Can Do At Home

PELVIC FLOOR BREATHING

Start by lying on your back with your legs straight out in front of you. If lying flat is uncomfortable, prop your legs up with one or two pillows. Pay attention to your breathing and try to expand your belly and rib cage.

 

PELVIC FLOOR BREATHING

Imagine them slowly rising up and out like an umbrella opening during the inhale. Allow the ribs and belly to return to their resting position on the exhale.

Getting Better With Each Exercise

Continue the breathing pattern and focus on your pelvic floor to advance this workout. This diamond-shaped set of muscles is placed between your tailbone and pubic bone from front to back and between your sit bones from right to left.

Notice how the pelvic floor dips down on the inhale and then rises back on the exhale. This movement is very slight, and you may perceive it as the tailbone falling toward the floor on the inhale and rising off the floor on the exhale.

This exercise can be performed while you’re seated on a firm chair. The chair might help deliver feedback during the workout by offering additional sensation to the pelvic floor. Keep this slow breathing pattern going for two minutes.

HAPPY BABY POSE

Start by lying on your back. With your legs apart, bring your knees up to your chest, then reach for your big toes. Softly bend your knees and push your feet toward the ceiling. If your hips or hamstrings are tight, use a towel or yoga strap behind your knees to extend your reach. 

HAPPY BABY POSE

Maintain this position while breathing deeply and allowing the pelvic floor to relax. Hold this posture for 2-3 minutes.

DEEP SQUAT

To help with balance, start by standing near a sturdy and steady object. A kitchen counter or a handrail is ideal, but a firm chair can also suffice.

Press your hips backward and drop into a deep squat while holding onto the counter or chair back for support. Breathe deeply into your rib cage and visualize dropping your pelvic floor, just like you did in the previous exercises. Hold this position for 1-2 minutes.

DEEP SQUAT

 

Mindfulness exercises can also be beneficial. You can reduce your anxiety and gain control of your Vaginismus by focusing on your breathing and filtering out undesirable ideas. Meditation, journaling, and adult coloring books are excellent methods to accomplish this.

Physical Therapy for the Pelvic Floor

Your doctor may suggest pelvic floor physical therapy. This therapy is intended to help persons with various pelvic floor disorders, including Vaginismus.

A physical therapist will assess the strength of your pelvic floor muscles and devise a strategy to help strengthen them, which may include exercise and even electrical stimulation.

Physical therapy has the benefit of being more likely to be successful since it is tailored to your specific requirements. According to studies, patients describe it as very rewarding/beneficial.

Counseling and therapy

If you feel a psychological condition is causing your Vaginismus, counseling might help you work through your issues and reduce your anxiety.

As previously stated, Vaginismus can be caused by physical and psychological triggers. Many people with the disorder have already suffered trauma or abuse, particularly in the context of sex.

Individuals will respond differently to treatment and counseling. Cognitive behavioral therapy gives you coping strategies by examining how your ideas and behaviors impact your Vaginismus. 

Sex therapy examines methods for improving communication and intimacy with your spouse. You can boost your confidence in the bedroom by discussing your doubts and concerns.

Botox and surgery

Some clinics offer botox to treat Vaginismus, which relaxes the vaginal muscles. While studies have shown that it can assist with symptoms, it’s important to remember that while Botox can help with the physical issues caused by Vaginismus, it won’t help if there are any underlying psychological concerns.

Remember that you’re not alone

Vaginismus can be uber frustrating, especially if you crave sex but know you’re having difficulties with it. The most important thing to keep in mind is that your condition does not define you. Many people with Vaginismus believe they are “broken,” but this is not the case.

Most people with Vaginismus can still get aroused, which means they can still enjoy oral sex, foreplay, and gentle masturbation. Take your time, and never be ashamed or embarrassed to tell your partner to stop or slow down.

 

Twice the Pleasure, Twice the Funn: How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator

If there ever was an OG sex toy, there’s no doubt that the rabbit vibrator would be it! These veterans of the sex toy world have become a firm favorite of sexually-empowered women since the days when women’s sexual wellness became a priority. 

Since their first mainstream appearance on Sex and the City in 1998, the best rabbit vibrators have become nightstand mainstays.

However, despite their popularity, to newbies, it’s not always apparent what they are, how to use them, or how to find one right for you. Fortunately, that’s our area of expertise! 

Below, you’ll learn everything you need to know about the iconic rabbit vibrator, including what they are and how to use them.

So, what is a rabbit vibrator?

Rabbit vibrators, also known as dual-stimulators, are toys that combine vaginal penetration with clitoral stimulation to provide an integrated, intense sensation that is commonly referred to as a “blended orgasm” or “mixed pleasure.”

Rabbit Vibrators earned their name after Vibratex’s prototype original, the Rabbit Pearl. When it came out in 1984, the Rabbit Pearl had small, soft bunny ears on its external portion that fluttered and flickered on either side of the clit as the toy vibrated. It also had a row of rotating beads on its shaft intended to pleasure the G-spot or vagina.

Modern iterations of the rabbit differ significantly, yet they’ve managed to keep their original name, whether for emotional reasons or sheer, unabashed cute factor.

Today’s rabbit vibes, like genuine rabbits, come in various species. Some clitoral stimulators resemble fingers or knubs, whilst others feature shafts that move, thrust, or rotate. 

While the many combinations of clitoral stimulators and shafts are pretty much limitless, the goal remains the same: simultaneous internal and external pleasure.

FemmeFunn Booster Rabbit

Types of rabbit vibes 

It may surprise you, but there are numerous sorts of rabbit vibrators. Simple models, for example, have a basic wand and ears with no added frills. Others sport a distinct head with ridges to provide additional stimulation during penetration.

Some models include a thrusting motion, so all you have to do is insert it, sit back, relax and enjoy the experience. For those of you who are tired of replacing batteries (aren’t we all?), there are rechargeable vibrators with USB charging – talk about keeping abreast with tech these days! 

What Does a Rabbit Vibrator Do?

A rabbit sex toy is designed to double or triple the pleasure and is often recommended as one of the best vibrators for women. It facilitates a faster, more intense orgasm during solo or couple play.

How do they do it? 

It all comes down to the ergonomic ‘bunny rabbit’ shape and dual motors. The larger, insertable arm vibrates against the upper wall of the vaginal canal (where you’ll find your G-spot), while the smaller arm is for external stimulation, massaging the clitoris.

It’s really quite cool.

Now, we get to the fun part!

How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator

1. Switch it on

If your rabbit is battery-powered, ensure the batteries are fresh. If it’s rechargeable, make sure you’ve charged it, so you’re not caught off guard by the sudden death of your rabbit.  It’s heartbreaking.

(Hint: That’s why you need a rechargeable vibe!)

2. Familiarize yourself with the controls

It can be tempting to get down to business and start using a new toy without properly getting to know it. That’s usually OK because most toys are very intuitive. BUT, with rabbit vibrators, it’s imperative to study the controls first.

Why? Simply put, they have more buttons. There are more controls in many toys because there is a shaft and a clitoral stimulator to work with and because you may operate them independently of each other.

Many rabbit vibrators also spin or stimulate the G-spot with wave-like “come hither” motions. Knowing which buttons control which functions (and the speed, intensity, and patterns) will help you find the most pleasurable combination of settings.

(Of course, some rabbits are far more straightforward. If that’s the case, then don’t worry, just ignore this part!)

3. Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate

Lube makes everything better!  Apply some lube to both the vibe and your body. Please ensure that the lube you use is compatible with the type of materials used to make your toy. 

If you don’t know the material of your toy, stick to water-based lubrication. It’s your safest bet, and you can pretty much use it with everything.

4. Place in position

Insert the vibrator shaft deep enough into the vagina so that the clitoral stimulator is flush against the clitoris. You may need to change up your position or the toy so that it makes touch with the correct areas.

There is no right or wrong way when it comes to using a rabbit vibe. Some people use it while lying on their backs, while others turn over onto their stomachs to grind against the clit stimulator.

You may also use it to increase arousal by stimulating around the vulva and labia initially. Similarly, rabbit vibes can be held in place by a partner in any position that feels comfortable.

If you get the need to utilize your bunny anally, go for it! The majority of rabbit vibrators are anal safe. The clitoral stimulator works as a base, preventing it from moving too high.

5. Activate the controls

Once you’re feeling confident and know how to work the controls, turn it on and set the controls according to your preference. Starting with the lowest setting allows you to gradually build your enjoyment for a stronger climax. 

6. Do whatever makes you happy

Once you’re lubed up, in position, and have your rabbit locked and loaded on your ideal setting combination, the rest is up to you.

You may leave it in place, use it for hands-free Kegels, thrust it in and out, spin it around, so the clit stimulator is on the perineum, or use it while giving or receiving oral sex.

Get creative, and keep in mind that they’re just as enjoyable for partnered sex as for solo play, so do what works for you.

Keep in mind that the clit stimulator will not always contact the body if you thrust it in and out with long or shallow strokes.

That’s fine if it feels wonderful to take it out and replace it every time you thrust, but if you want full contact all the time, focus on shorter, deeper strokes or grind your hips back and forth on it for an in-and-out action.

7. Use it with a partner

While it’s a terrific tool for masturbation, why not bring your spouse along for the ride? Toys, according to educators, can help you enhance your sex life, and we’re here to help. 

Even if you have nothing to complain about, there’s something to be said for taking things to the next level in the bedroom (or on the kitchen counter, we’re not judging).

How does a Rabbit vibrator feel?

Of course, after hearing about all of its features and functions, you’re curious about how the rabbit vibrator feels? Well, let’s just say that considering it provides both internal and outward stimulation, giving you the best of both worlds… it feels pretty darn good! 

By engaging your erogenous zones, you can reach climax faster than ever before. And don’t just take our word for it— look at the toy’s customer reviews before purchasing your rabbit vibe. 

You’ll soon see that many happy customers report having stronger blended orgasms than before, while others straight out encourage every woman to get one.

Well, what are you still waiting for?

Rabbit vibes that never disappoint

So, which rabbit vibrator should you try? 

Hmmm… with so many great options to choose from, that can be a rather tricky question!

To help you out, here are three of our faves:

Booster Rabbit

  • Dual Stimulating Heads
  • Full 360º Rotation
  • Turbo Boost Button
  • 100% Waterproof
  • Quiet

Booster-Rabbit-Rotating-Rabbit-Vibrator-Pink-In-Hand

The Booster Rabbit combines innovative 360º rotation technology with sensational rabbit vibrations for the ultimate dual-action stimulation. 

With its seven external vibration modes, three internal rotation speeds, and supercharged boost mode, it won’t take long to realize that this toy means some serious business—you’re guaranteed continuous waves of orgasmic bliss! 

The Booster Rabbit’s soft silicone rabbit ears gently stimulate external pleasure zones and the boost button cranks up the intensity just when you need it most. With these sorta vibes, expect to reach the summit of Mt Pleasure in record-breaking time!

Pirouette

  • Full 360º Rotation
  • Wireless Remote Control
  • Turbo boost button
  • Sculpted G spot stimulation
  • Harness compatible
  • 100% Waterproof
  • Quiet

Pirouette-Purple-Rotating-Rabbit-Vibrator-In-Hand

Offering extra pleasure to satisfy even the most experienced sex toy users, the Pirouette’s curved tip strokes the G-spot whilst the external rabbit ear simultaneously stimulates the clitoris. 

It’s harness compatible (making it perfect for solo or partner play) and features 360 degrees of rotation, eight vibration modes, and wireless remote control. It’s also waterproof, so it makes for a great bath companion.

Essenza

  • Standby Mode
  • Magnetic Charging
  • Real Feel Liquid Silicone
  • Splash Proof

Essenza-Thrusting-Rabbit-Vibrator-Pink-In-Hand-2

If you need a powerful thrusting sensation to get you there, make a beeline for the Essenza, which moves in a thrusting motion when turned on. 

In addition to the seven thrust speeds, this rabbit vibrator has three external vibration modes, so you can experiment with what feels best. Plus, the rabbit ears serve up clitoral stimulation in abundance—blended orgasms, incoming.

Happy playing!

A rabbit vibrator is one of the most adaptable sex toys around. Whether you want to enjoy some alone time or have your partner(s) do all the hard work, the possibilities are virtually endless!

Check out our other rabbit vibes here 🐰

How Can You Tell If You’ve Had An Orgasm?

Have you ever watched a sex scene in a movie and wondered if that’s what an orgasm should be like?  And then thought that perhaps you were doing it all wrong?

If so, you’re definitely not alone. Media portrayals of sex can often leave us feeling perplexed and questioning our own experiences—not only how we appear and sound but also whether we’re “doing it right” or even having an orgasm at all! 

So let’s be frank, pop culture doesn’t depict orgasms accurately, often leading us to believe that orgasms involve a large amount of shouting and dramatic shaking and occur instantly (without clitoral stimulation!)

Although some orgasms can look like this…it’s just a small sample! So, if what you see in movies isn’t entirely accurate, how can you tell if you’ve had an orgasm if your experience doesn’t match up?

It’s ironic that in a culture that frequently discusses the topic of orgasms, we rarely dive into the specifics of what happens in the body during one. 

In this article, we’ll explore the wonders of orgasm and how you can tell if you’ve had one—let’s get started!

 

What exactly is an orgasm?

An orgasm is described as changes in the body caused by the intense pleasure that increases pulse rate and blood pressure. Orgasms can also produce pelvic muscle spasms, which cause vaginal contractions and urethral contractions in penises.

Regardless of gender, an orgasm is generated by the same thing in everyone: stimulation. Sometimes it’s genital stimulation; other times, it may be breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.

One of the most desired aspects of orgasm is the release of feel-good hormones. After climax, dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body leaving you calm, tranquil, satisfied and attached to your lover.

Although we’re still discovering how the human body experiences pleasure and orgasm, we have learned a thing or two. For starters, only 18% of persons with vaginas can orgasm only through intercourse, according to a 2015 study. Furthermore, most people with vaginas require clitoral stimulation, either alone or together with penetration.

Even those experiencing orgasms during penetration have the clitoris to thank. (Most scientists will confirm that all orgasms involve the clitoris, regardless of where the stimulation occurs!)

It’s also worth noting that some folks simply cannot orgasm. (And, yes, this is also perfectly normal) But that doesn’t mean that you don’t benefit from sex! Several studies demonstrate that climax is not required to have a truly happy and fulfilling sex life. Instead, it should be thought of as ‘the icing on the cake’.

 

There are different kinds of orgasms

Many people are surprised to learn that orgasms actually happen in our brains, not our genitals. And even though our skin is the largest sexual organ, our brain is the most important.

While scientists are still debating whether different types of genital orgasms exist (think clitoral, A-spot, G-spot, etc.), they do know there are other ways to come that don’t entail touching anything below the belt:

  • Nipple play: When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is produced, causing the same uterine and vaginal contractions as orgasm. 

 

  • While fantasizing: Some people can “think” themselves into orgasm by imagining a stimulating situation and allowing their minds to wander.

 

  • While exercising: Also known as a “coregasm” some people can orgasm while practicing yoga or doing core workouts.

 

  • While sleeping: Because orgasms occur in our brains, which are super active at night, people of all genders can climax while sleeping. There’s no method to it, but it makes for a lovely night’s sleep when it happens.

 

  • A skin orgasm: Also referred to as “frisson,” skin orgasms are the tingles you feel when listening to a great song or watching an incredible scene. It can feel like goosebumps or a slight shiver down your arms.

Tell If You've Had An Orgasm

How you can tell if you’ve had an orgasm

An orgasm can seem like a sensual trance and generate a state of sexual euphoria that you might feel both physically and psychologically. Heightened sexual excitement and fulfillment are sensed and then followed by calm. 

Did you know that various bodily cues can alert you if you’re on your way? When you are aroused, your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes faster, your nipples are erect, and your genitals are engorged with blood. These sensations intensify as arousal rises until you climax.

Orgasms may make you feel calm, but they can also make you sleepy. According to one 2019 study, participants who experienced an orgasm before bedtime reported getting a better night’s sleep. Additional research is required to prove the link, but the authors of this study believe we can thank oxytocin.

 

How to have an orgasmic experience

If you aren’t climaxing, you could learn to do so by becoming more familiar with your body and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Experts all agree that solo play is an excellent place to start. By adjusting your touch and intensity, try out different masturbation techniques to see what feels good.

It also helps to concentrate on how you feel in the moment rather than solely thinking about obtaining an orgasm. Deep breathing is a terrific technique to let go of distracting ideas.

You’ll be able to communicate more effectively with your partner about what gets you off once you’ve mastered your own domain. If you want to climax through penetration, consider the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), which allows you to simultaneously compress the shaft of the penis (or toy) between your thighs, grind your clitoris against the pelvis bone, and experience the snug fit of penetration.

Tips for an even better orgasm

Tips for an even better orgasm

If you’re keen to experiment or just want to spice things up, don’t be hesitant to introduce toys into the mix. Experiment with rabbit vibrators, like the Booster Rabbit or Delola. Both of these vibes are guaranteed to get all the juices flowing.

It’s possible that combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation can increase the intensity of your orgasm. 

Finding toys that fit you and your body can be its own exciting type of foreplay, whether you do it alone or with a partner, so don’t be hesitant to incorporate them into the mix and go on a small shopping spree.

Regardless, it’s vital to understand that not everyone can experience orgasm (with or without a partner), and that’s OK!! 

Open communication with your partner and consulting a sex therapist can assist, but the fun of sex lies in the discovery, which often includes so much more than an orgasm! 

So, relax and enjoy yourself…and let the orgasmic magic find you✨

 

Your Guide to GREAT Period Sex (and why you should try it!)

For all the progress made to dismantle various sexual stigmas, period sex is still one that remains taboo.

Period sex has long been stigmatized as disgusting or unclean, but fortunately, attitudes are changing. According to a survey of over 4,000 people, 38% of men and 31% of women are interested in having sex during menstruation. 

Whether you’re apprehensive about entering the realm of period sex for the first time or have been a fan for years (but you’re still concerned about the logistics)—don’t stress! There’s an array of compelling reasons to relish the delights of sex during your period.

Many of us experience a surge of hormones during our periods and are, in fact, more turned on during our periods. In a poll of over 500 participants, 30% of women said they wanted to have more sex during their period than at any other time. 

If you yearn to have a normal sex life during “that time of the month,” as your mom called it, but aren’t too sure how to avoid some of the messier parts, we have some tips and tricks for you.

Here is everything you need to know about going au natural and for your partner to earn their “red wings”.

Can you have actual sex on your period?

First things first, many people still wonder if you can have vaginal sex while on your period. The answer is an emphatic yes! And to top it off, it can be REALLY pleasurable. 

Hormonal changes cause increased arousal and sensitivity during a menstrual period (such as increased estrogen and decreased progesterone levels). “Your vagina is more open and receptive at this time, so if there was a position you were trying to do, but it didn’t work so well in the past, now is the time,” says Carlen Costa, a sexologist and relationship expert. 

… plus, there are health benefits! 

One of the best things about period sex is that it can assist with some of the more annoying symptoms that occur during your period.

Since our bodies release oxytocin and endorphins when we orgasm (these are natural pain relievers), having period sex can significantly reduce menstrual pains and headaches! 

having period sex can significantly reduce menstrual pains

So, as bizarre as it may sound, try having an orgasm before reaching for ibuprofen to deal with period pains and migraines! Also, once you get used to the idea of ‘colored lube’, menstrual blood can provide excellent natural lubrication.

Now, there are some risks involved. The pH of your vaginal fluid fluctuates throughout your period, throwing off the delicate lactobacilli equilibrium. 

One function of the cervix is to protect your uterus from bacteria that may enter the vagina during intercourse. When you’re menstruating, it opens slightly to allow the uterus to shed. This opens a small gateway for bacteria to enter the uterus, increasing the possibility of infection. 

So, even if you’re in a committed relationship, you still need to use barrier methods like condoms and/or dental dams during period sex.

Oral sex is always an option

It is totally safe to have oral sex during your period. Your greatest fear is probably the mess, but luckily, there are a variety of solutions available, such as menstruation cups and menstrual discs.  

If you want to avoid a mess or any sort of contact with menstrual blood, stick to the clitoris. Simply leave your tampon in and have your partner focus on the outside.  There’s no need to snip the string or try to conceal your menstruation. Periods happen.

you CAN still get pregnant when having period sex

Yes, you CAN still get pregnant!

Another thing to consider is the possibility of pregnancy and using contraception. Myths about not being able to get pregnant while on your period are entirely bogus. 

While it may seem unlikely, your ovulation cycle is influenced by various variables, and each cycle differs from one menstruator to the next. Ovulation usually occurs 7 to 12 days following the start of your last period; however, sperm can survive for up to seven days inside the body. 

This means you could ovulate while still carrying live sperm in your body.

So for clarity’s sake, we’ll say it again…While your risk of conception is low, you should still practice safe sex while on your period to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

There will be a mess. Period.

It always comes down to “the mess”, right? Yep, humans can have some rather strange reactions to blood. The notion of blood oozing from a vagina contradicts the cultural narrative of “feminine hygiene.”

But mess comes with the territory when it comes to period sex! It doesn’t matter if you’re having your heaviest or lightest period – if you’re menstruating, there will be some menstrual blood. Accepting this fact is the first step.

Before you have period sex, it’s a good idea to discuss it with your partner. As natural as period sex should be, it can be pretty jarring for both partners if you’ve never done it before. Once you’ve told your partner about the issue, you can devise your plan of action.

Keep mess to a minimum with these period sex tips

OK, so you’ll be relieved to hear that you won’t need to wallpaper your bedroom in plastic like a scene straight out of Dexter, but there are a few things you can do to avoid the mess.

Use dark-colored towels

This is a pretty simple solution. Place a brown or black towel down on the bed (just remember to label these as your period sex towels and store them in the back of your closet!)

Shower sex

Shower water, ironically, makes your vagina less wet by washing away your body’s natural lubricant. However, there is so much extra wetness during period shower sex that this problem is nearly removed. Furthermore, the blood simply washes away. No mess, no fuss!

Try using a menstrual disc

Unlike menstrual cups or tampons, menstruation discs can be worn during intercourse. The flexible disks are placed into the vaginal canal like a tampon, but they sit higher up in your vagina, at the vaginal fornix. This allows for penetrative sex without the blood.

Experiment with different positions

Some women experience increased pelvic congestion during their period, which is a heaviness that [may] trigger arousal. This is why some women report desiring more sex during their period. 

Gentle positions like spooning can be a great way to enjoy sex, but otherwise, you can experiment with the depth of penetration and different angles to see what works best for you.

scene from fifty shades of grey

Get a lil kinky

Explore some of the more surprising erogenous zones to get things going. By “surprising”, we mean the ears, hands, stomach, and even the bottoms of the feet. 

You could even get your kink on and use a blindfold to heighten every sense. You don’t have to go Fifty Shades of Gray kinky with all sorts of leather contraptions—use your shirt and place it over your partner’s eyes, then pin their hands and tell them they can’t move or peek. 

Every sense will be heightened… pure ecstasy!

Or you could embrace the mess!?

Blood has a primal and animalistic quality about it. If you and your partner are OK with it and you can stomach the sight of blood (or, conversely, if it turns you on, no judgment here!), then there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be business as usual. Sheets can always be washed or bleached!

Also, in case you forgot, your sex toys can be washed—so there’s no need to leave them out of the action. All our Femme Funn toys are composed of premium materials that you can safely wash in warm water with soap. 

Adopt the ‘try everything once’ mindset

Giving period sex a try can be an exciting opportunity for many couples who haven’t experienced it before to overcome a fear of the unknown. If you haven’t tried having sex while on your period yet, you might discover that you enjoy it. 

You never know; you may love it (and if you don’t, you won’t have to do it again). But until you and your partner have set off on an adventure to part the red sea, you’ll never really know or experience the depths of the beautiful promised land.

Anal 101: Exploring your back passage a hole new way

Did you know that you can have mind-blowing orgasms during anal sex? Additionally, a good anal session may help induce relaxation and leave you (more than) satisfied. 

Unfortunately, anal sex has been buried beneath many myths that often keep women apprehensive of the act. Contrary to these myths, anal sex feels terrific and can result in intense orgasmic experiences when done right. 

Anal sex, like the rest of our erotic expressions, is a delicate art form that requires knowledge and care to achieve the utmost pleasure experience. Whether you’re Team I Love Anal, Team Not For Me, or somewhere in between, there’s quite a bit of stuff you should know before you attempt to ram something into your rectum. Either way, we’ve got your butt covered!

Consider this article the go-to guide for your next back-of-the-house party. Whether you’re new to anal sex, trying to spice up your solo play, or prepping for your lover to have a bottomless amount of fun, you’ve come to the perfect place.

FAQ: All things anal

1. Why does anal play feel so great?

All credit needs to go to the prostate for this one! The prostate gland is a small muscular structure in males that makes the semen found in male ejaculate. It is surrounded by nerve endings that, when stimulated, cause arousal.

While women don’t have a prostate, they have a prostate-like button called the G-spot, found in the vaginal canal. This G-spot can be indirectly stimulated via through the wall that connects the vagina and rectum. 

Furthermore, the rich concentration of nerve endings in the anus causes even a finger to be stimulating. So, whether you insert a thumb, dildo, or penis, you’re in for a one-of-a-kind sensory experience.

2. How do you locate the prostate gland?

The prostate is a gland located inside the body. So, you’ll have to go into the anus to find it. While penetrating through the back door is the most direct way to stimulate a man’s prostate, you can also do it by pressing/massaging his perineum (the skin that lies between the penis and the anus). It feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue within, comparable to a woman’s G-Spot.

3. Does this mean that everyone has a prostate?

Only males who are cis-gendered and designated male at birth have a prostate gland in their anus. The Skene glands (the female G-Spot) are the female equivalent of the prostate.

4. What are the best positions for anal sex?

Positions for anal are about as diverse as vaginal positions. Popular ones are receiver on top, facing front or back; doggy-style; missionary; receiver flat on back with legs closed (provides the receiver with a lot more control); and nearly anything else you can imagine.

When it comes to anal sex positions, anything goes depending on how flexible you and your partner are. So don’t assume that you’ll need to get it in doggy style. Anal is terrific in missionary, as is modified doggy.

5. What is pegging?

Pegging refers to a woman wearing a strap on and penetrating another individual’s rear to simulate anal. 

6. What is a rim job (or rimming)?

A rim job is an anal play act in which one partner licks the other person’s rectum.

7. Will anal sex be painful?

Besides the poop issue (which we’ll discuss in more detail below), whether or not anal sex hurts is another major concern that you may have. Yet, like with everything, if done correctly, you can reduce your risk of feeling discomfort. 

Also, don’t worry – it’s only anal! Anal shouldn’t hurt if you use sufficient lube, are relaxed, have a slow and gentle insertion, and have a considerate partner. Remember to do what makes you comfortable and feels good. You’re the only person who can decide this, so you must communicate this every step of the way. It’s worth mentioning that anal isn’t for everyone, and if it isn’t for you, that’s also perfectly ok.

8. What happens if I really enjoy it and I do it often – will it make me incontinent?

The idea that anal intercourse will loosen you up or weaken your butthole leaving you defecating and farting all over the place isn’t entirely accurate. While the chances of being left in a diaper or passing gas all day are slim, you can still get in on the butt action without damaging your precious derriere by doing Kegels regularly, remembering to go slowly and always using plenty of lube. 

9. Is it ok for him to blow in there?

If both of you have tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases, you may decide to forgo using condoms. If you’re wondering if it’s fine for your guy to ejaculate within your anal cavity during anal sex – worry no more -doctors say it’s perfectly fine! But make sure you’re both healthy, as the anus can suffer minor tears during sex, which can leave you more susceptible to infection. 

Anal Play Hints & Tips

Now that you’ve had a crash course in anal, it’s time to discuss how to make this type of play smoother and more pleasurable for you and your partner. 

Take it easy.

Compared to vaginal penetration, anal play is considerably trickier. It’s always advisable to start using fingers or a small butt plug initially rather than penile penetration straight away. The recipient should always feel comfortable and at ease. If it hurts, stop right away — it shouldn’t be painful.

Before inserting anything, prospective penetrators should try massaging their partner’s anus and the surrounding area. That way, the nerves in those nether regions will be woken up and prepared for more. 

Anal and lube – two peas in a pod.

Never attempt to have anal sex with just spit! Your rectum, unlike the vagina, does not self-lubricate or expand when aroused, so you’re going to need plenty of lube – this can’t be emphasized enough! The goal is to have a pain-free, effortless gliding in and out.

Also, if you’re using a sex toy, make sure you know what kind of lubes are suitable to use with it. Use the lube of your choice, generously slathering it all over. Do not be shy to reapply it when required.

Communication is crucial.

Anal sex, as well as all the glorious actions that surround it, is an incredibly intimate experience. Establish open channels of communication with your partner about what you want, how you feel, what you’re looking forward to, and what is off-limits. Only when both partners are comfortable can intimacy be enjoyable.

Safewords.

This should come as a no-brainer, regardless of any intimate act. Before you dive in, agree on a safe word. Use this word if you are uncomfortable, in pain, or just want to stop. This word should be easy and can be said in a single breath. 

Spicy food and anal sex aren’t friends.

For the most enjoyable anal encounter, you should prepare ahead of time. And by prepare, we mean to stay away from specific foods. Spicy meals, beans, cheese, and so on are all items to avoid if you plan to use the backdoor later in the day. Avoid any bowel-reactant meals for at least 4 hours before getting frisky; otherwise, things might get a bit messy!  

Natural encounters.

It stands to reason that when you bring your anus to the party, you’ll always run the risk of encountering some sort of secretions. As a result, be sure that both you and your partner are prepared to deal with a messy situation. And, if that does happen, penetrators should never make their partners feel bad about any surprises. 

While we’re on the topic, it is necessary to highlight that fecal matter is stored in the colon, not in the rectum (which is penetrated during anal sex). The only time poop is present in the rectum is when it passes through before exiting the body. 

Anal sex is, therefore, not, by default, a shitty experience. But the fact remains – it can happen, and that’s a very vulnerable place for anyone to be in. Remember, it’s all natural. It may feel like you want to poop during anal penetration; however, you won’t if your bowels are empty! 

Also, if you think about it, the “feeling of pooping” is very pleasurable. During anal sex, this feeling is eroticized into sexual pleasure minus the poop. Get it?

Dildos and butt plugs

Butt plugs are excellent training tools for anal sex. Sex Toys made of cheap rubber or chemicals should be avoided. The use of anal plugs is a great way to introduce anal penetration without thrusting or friction. It enables your anus to relax and experience the sensation of being filled up. Experiment with inserting a butt plug (like this one) during oral sex, penetrative vaginal intercourse, and even solo masturbation. The pleasure is sensational!

Slow, deep breaths

Take note of how your anal muscles contract and relax. It’s a good idea to practice consciously relaxing them during anal. Your comfort is the key to mutual enjoyment. Many people assume that anal sex involves hardcore anal penetration, but this is not the reality, so forget what you see in porn – those actors have had plenty of practice! 

Maximize orgasmic potential.

Place a vibrator on your clitoris as you’re penetrated anally – this will intensify orgasms massively. Not only will the vibrations help your anal muscles relax, but once you orgasm, you’ll start craving more backdoor fun. 

Be mindful of which finger or toy goes where.

Please. For the love of all things vaginal, always ensure that no cross-pollination occurs! When it comes to anal, any finger, penis or toy that’s been in your bum has no place in the vagina until it has been cleaned with soap and water. Otherwise, you could land up with a nasty UTI, and those are never any fun.

Your awesome anal checklist:

  • Empty your bowels ahead of time.
  • Eat lightly during the day and avoid anything that makes you feel constipated or gassy. As already stated, avoid spicy food or anything that could potentially give you the runs.
  • Ensure that you have loads of privacy and time to explore together. This means no upcoming meetings, screaming children outside, or phone calls from work.
  • Set up your love-making area with pleasure props such as tissues, wet wipes, a glass of water, lubricant, vibrator, or favorite sex toy, and comfortable pillows.
  • Take a bath or shower.
  • Lock the doors!
  • Light the candles and put on some sexy music.
  • Have an open discussion with your partner and agree that you will only go as far as you feel comfortable and that no one will not push you past your limits.
  • A sensual body (and booty!) massage may help you relax if you’re feeling anxious.
  • Foreplay, foreplay, and more foreplay!

The intimacy of anal sex

Sex isn’t always perfect. And is far from it. It may feel awkward and silly at times but keep in mind that a sense of humor and genuine curiosity will lead to good things! The anus is a portal to human vulnerability. 

Understanding this feeling of vulnerability fosters a sense of compassion and togetherness among partners. This is why communication is pivotal, and by doing so, your partner can support you accordingly.

Due to the sheer vulnerability involved, anal is one of the most intimate sexual acts you can experience. Contrary to popular belief, anal sex can be remarkably romantic and passionate, creating a deeper connection and intimacy between lovers. 

Anal sex is as magic as it is wild! Allowing oneself to appreciate this carnal act within the context of love may be healing to the body, heart, and soul.

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