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Sex Toys as Gifts: When It’s a Good Idea and How to Do It Right

The Appeal of a Sexual Gift

Seeking a unique and unforgettable surprise for an upcoming celebration? Perhaps you’ve mulled over the notion of presenting a sex toy’ as a gift.

Whether for your best friend’s bachelorette bash or a surprise treat for your spouse to spice up your sex life, this suggestion may have crossed your mind more than once. Let’s delve into the captivating allure of such an unconventional, yet delightfully tempting, present.

The Beauty of Sex Toys as Gifts

Whether it’s solo sex or couples sex, sex toys, much like the gems at FemmeFunn, have evolved beyond mere novelty items. When you introduce sex toys, do it with pride. They’ve transformed into tasteful, empowering tools that foster intimacy, personal exploration, and heightened pleasure.

Offering one as a gift, regardless of the occasion, could potentially unlock new avenues of comfort, confidence, and satisfaction for the recipient to enhance their sex life and or solo play.

Moreover, they encapsulate the essence of an ideal present – they are fun, thoughtful, and above all, useful.

Reasons to Consider a Sex Toy as a Gift

The prospect of giving a sex toy as a gift should not be a fleeting thought.

It’s a token of trust, open-mindedness, and modernity. These pleasure devices are more than just items of physical enjoyment – they are symbols of the freedom to embrace and explore one’s sexuality without shame or stigma.

Additionally, if the gift is for your partner, it can be a thrilling addition to your shared intimate moments. Consider it a shared sexual gift, with the potential for enhancing foreplay, deeper penetration, and reaching new orgasmic heights together.

Nevertheless, the decision to gift a petite toy, or a large toy, like any present, warrants careful consideration. After all, physical intimacy is key.

In the following sections, we will delve into the necessary precautions, suitable recipients, and the best sex toys for gift-giving. Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of making the most thoughtful and stimulating present choice!

Delving Deeper: To Gift or Not to Gift a Sex Toy

The unique appeal of a toy as a gift doesn’t come without its share of doubts. Venturing into the world of intimate pleasure products as presents requires a balance between your intentions and the recipient’s comfort level.

So, the big question is, should you venture down this exciting path?

Assessing the Appropriateness of the Gift

Before you decide to buy a sex toy as a gift, the first thing to consider is the recipient.

The modern world has indeed become more open to discussions about one’s sexuality, sex life, and personal pleasure. However, individual comfort levels with these topics can vary greatly.

Sex toys make fantastic gifts for:

  • Spouses
  • Partners
  • Even friends with benefits

But remember, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation.

If you’re contemplating gifting a toy to someone you’re no longer sexually involved with or someone you haven’t been intimate with yet, it’s a territory best left unexplored.

The Implications of Buying a Sex Toy as a Gift

Embracing the idea of giving a sex toy as a gift is one thing, but ensuring it’s a good idea in practice is quite another.

Gifting a sex toy has implications that go beyond the initial surprise. It communicates trust, openness, and mutual respect for sexual exploration. It can be a wonderful expression of intimacy when shared with a partner, or an empowering gesture to a close friend who is comfortable with these topics.

However, it can also lead to uncomfortable situations if the recipient isn’t ready to receive such a gift.

In the end, the decision to gift a sex toy is a personal one, demanding a deep understanding of the recipient’s comfort level, preferences, and relationship with them.

It’s crucial to tread this path with care and consider these factors before you proceed to the next step – choosing the perfect sexual gift.

Who Should Receive A Sex Toy?

If you’ve decided to venture into the thrilling and empowering world of gifting a sex toy, the next question you might ask is –

“Who exactly should receive such a gift?”

Evaluating the Recipient: Who to Consider for a Sexual Gift

Gifting a sex toy is about enhancing personal pleasure, embracing sexual empowerment, and breaking down taboos. It’s a highly personal gift that requires careful consideration. Here’s a rough guide:

Partners or Spouses

These are typically the safest recipients of a sexual gift.

There’s already an established intimacy, and the gift can help bring new dimensions to your shared experiences.

Close Friends

Gifting a sex toy to a close friend can be empowering and liberating. However, the key here is ‘close’.

The friendship must be robust and open-minded enough to handle such a personal present.


Gifts for roommates are typically of a non-sexual nature.

If your roommate is a close friend and you both share open dialogues about sexuality, then a sex toy could be a quirky and fun gift.

Remember, no matter who the recipient is, always ensure that the gift is wanted and appropriate.

The Nuances of Gifting a Sex Toy

Every person has their unique preferences when it comes to sexual pleasure, and solo or couples sex toys are no different. A gift that one person might love could be off-putting to another.

Therefore, it’s essential to keep in mind the recipient’s preferences, comfort level, and experiences.

For instance, gifting a sex toy to your wife or partner offers an opportunity to explore new aspects of intimacy. However, the best sex toy for your wife isn’t necessarily the most expensive or most popular on the market, but the one that aligns with her preferences and comfort level.

Understanding these nuances can help turn a potentially awkward moment into a delightful, empowering, and fun experience, one that could be the key to unlocking a whole new world of pleasure.

Trusting Your Instincts: Can You Gift a Sex Toy?

If you’re still unsure whether you should go ahead and gift a sex toy, remember that instinct plays a significant role.

The Importance of Gut Instincts When Giving a Sex Toy

Sex toys, despite being increasingly mainstream, are still intimate gifts. Your gut instinct is a helpful compass guiding you towards the right decision.

Listen to what your intuition is telling you about the recipient’s likely reaction.

Will they feel empowered and delighted, or uncomfortable and taken aback?

Are they open-minded and adventurous or more conservative in their views about sex?

In the end, the question of whether or not to buy a sex toy as a gift isn’t just about age or appropriateness, but also about instinct and understanding.

The Potential Repercussions of a Misjudged Sexual Gift

While a well-thought-out sexual gift can enhance relationships, bring joy, and open up discussions about sexuality and pleasure, a poorly judged one can have the opposite effect.

Misjudging a sexual gift can lead to awkwardness, and discomfort, and even cause strain in your relationship with the recipient. That’s why it’s so essential to consider the recipient’s comfort levels, their views on sexuality, and the nature of your relationship before deciding to gift a sex toy.

So, should you buy a dildo or a vibrator as a gift? The answer lies in your understanding of the recipient’s comfort, openness, and preferences. Remember, a sex toy is a gift that keeps on giving – if it’s the right fit!

Function, Size, and Look: A Trifecta of Sex Toy Selection

Selecting the right sex toy for a gift requires attention to three key factors:

  • Function
  • Size
  • Aesthetics

The Different Functionalities of Sex Toys

Sex toys come in an incredible variety, each serving a unique purpose.

From vibrators to dildos, anal beads to love eggs, each toy offers a different type of stimulation. Understanding what each toy does is crucial to choosing the right one.

It’s also important to consider the experience level of the recipient: some toys are great for beginners, while others are better suited for those with more experience.

The best sex toys for your wife, for example, may depend on her individual preferences and previous experiences.

Determining the Right Size: Bigger Isn’t Always Better

When buying sex toys, remember that bigger sex toys aren’t always better. The size should be based on the recipient’s comfort and experience level.

For beginners, smaller, less intimidating toys might be a better choice. On the other hand, for those experienced with sex toys, larger sizes could offer a different, more intense form of pleasure.

Should you buy a dildo, insertive toys or a vibrator? The size and comfort level of the recipient will guide you to the right choice.

The Aesthetics of a Sex Toy: Colors, Designs, and Discretion

Finally, the look of the sex toy is another vital consideration.

Many modern toys are beautifully designed, with a wide range of colors and shapes to choose from.

Some are even designed to be discreet, looking more like decorative objects than sex toys. T

his can be a bonus for those who value their privacy. From sleek, modern designs to more playful and colorful options, there’s a sex toy to suit everyone’s aesthetic preferences.

In summary, choosing the best sex toy as a gift involves thoughtful consideration of the recipient’s preferences, comfort level, and aesthetic taste. Make your choice with care, and your sexual gift can bring pleasure and joy in a truly personal way.

The Ideal Occasions for Gifting a Sex Toy

Choosing when to gift a sex toy can make a significant impact on how well it is received. After all, context is key.

Appropriate Occasions for Gifting a Sex Toy

There are plenty of instances when a sex toy can make an excellent and thrilling gift.

Celebrating personal milestones, such as birthdays or anniversaries, can be ideal. Even more intimate occasions like a bachelorette party, a romantic getaway, or Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to introduce a bit of playful fun.

Gifting sex toys to your wife or partner can also help to deepen your relationship, sparking conversations about desires and fantasies.

Taboos Around Gifting Sex Toys: When to Avoid

As exhilarating as it can be to gift a sex toy, it’s essential to consider the potential taboos and inappropriate situations.

For example, it’s generally not appropriate to gift a sex toy to someone you don’t have a sexual relationship with unless you’re very close friends and know it will be appreciated. Gifting a sex toy to a coworker or in a public setting is another no-no.

The goal is to create joy and enhance intimacy, not cause discomfort or embarrassment.

The Joy of Receiving a Sex Toy as a Gift

Opening a gift to find a sex toy can be a thrilling experience. It’s an unexpected surprise that shows you care about the recipient’s pleasure and sexual well-being.

Plus, it’s an intimate and personal gift that can lead to memorable experiences. A sex toy can be an exceptional gift, as long as it’s chosen and given with thoughtfulness, respect, and love.

In conclusion, gifting a sex toy, whether its an anal sex toy, cock rings, oral sex toy, panty vibrator, g spot stimulation toys, prostate stimulation toys, penetrative sex toy, etc. No matter what toy, it can be an exciting venture, both for the giver and the receiver. It’s about the thought put into the selection and the shared experiences that can follow.

With FemmeFunn, you can trust you’re choosing from the best sex toys for your wife, partner, or friend.

Embrace the Fun and Excitement of Gifting Sex Toys

Embarking on the adventure of gifting a sex toy opens the door to an exciting realm of intimacy, discovery, and pleasure. It is an expression of affection that promotes open conversation and exploration of one’s sexuality.

So, if you’re mulling over the question, “Should I buy a sex toy for my wife?” or considering the option of a sexual gift for a close friend, remember, the journey can be as enjoyable as the destination.

Why You Should Consider Gifting a Sex Toy

The act of gifting a sex toy signifies not only an acknowledgment of one’s sexual desires but also an affirmation of them. It’s about fostering a culture of openness around sexual health and creating shared experiences that are both intimate and fun.

When it comes to the selection of a sex toy for your wife or anyone else, remember the key elements we discussed:

  • Consent
  • Appropriateness
  • Functionality
  • Size
  • Aesthetics
  • Occasion

Your thoughtful choice could be the starting point of an exciting new chapter in someone’s life.

The Mission of FemmeFunn: Empowering Sexuality and Breaking Taboos

At FemmeFunn, we’re dedicated to breaking sex-toy taboos and empowering individuals to confidently explore their sexuality. We believe in the joy of discovery, the power of innovation, and the importance of fun.

Each product we offer is designed with your safety, comfort, and satisfaction in mind, crafted to cater to all bodies, all sexes, and all genders. The best sex toys out these are only a few clicks away.

How to Start Exploring the Range of FemmeFunn Products

Ready to start your voyage into the exciting world of sexual gifts?

Explore our range of premium sex toys and let your instincts guide you. Whether you’re in the market for a sex toy for your wife or looking for a unique gift for a friend, our comprehensive range of products is sure to satiate all whims.

So why wait? Embrace the fun and start exploring the best sex toys on the market today!

Remember, the purchase of a sex toy is not just about the physical product; it’s about the experience that comes with it.

Let FemmeFunn guide you on this empowering journey of sexual exploration. After all, there’s no better gift than the gift of pleasure.


“Just Sex” Versus “Making Love”: Is It Possible to Tell the Difference?

Although there’s nothing wrong with casual sex that comes completely string-free, sometimes you’re looking for more than that – meaningful sex that’s part of a growing connection. However, the two can look infuriatingly similar to one another, especially when you’re still in the process of getting to know someone.

Thankfully there are sexual cues that can make it easier to tell the difference. Here’s a closer look at what to look for and how best to read the signs. Some are even possible to spot before things turn sexual in the first place, especially if you’ve been spending a decent amount of time together.

Sex is an option, not a requirement.

What role does sex play in your relationship with the person in question? Does it feel like the only reason they ever want to get together, or is time with you something they genuinely seem to enjoy in other contexts?

Someone who’s into someone on a level that goes beyond sexual will undoubtedly love the sex. But they’ll love doing other things, as well. If this person seems just as eager to spend time with you when sex isn’t on the table, you’re more than just a booty call to them.

They’re attentive to your sexual needs.

It’s possible for someone only interested in sex for its own sake to genuinely enjoy pleasing their partner as part of the experience, but it’s not really the norm. When it’s all about sex, you can usually tell. They may seem focused strictly on getting off, or they may want you to do things they enjoy without ever asking what you like.

When someone sees sex as making love and it’s meaningful, they take their time. They seem to be savoring every kiss and trying to make every second in bed with their partner count. They definitely seem focused on making sure you have a good time and will likely communicate that directly.

There’s just something different about the sex lately.

It’s not uncommon for sex to start one way and gradually evolve into something else as time goes by. Plenty of people begin a connection as casual bed buddies or friends with benefits only to become something more meaningful over time. A shift in the overall vibe of the sex is a clue that this might be occurring.

Sometimes things start feeling more intense, or your lover seems to be handling you with a more loving hand than they used to. Such changes can happen all of a sudden or build slowly over time, but they’re often a sign that you, your partner, or both of you are starting to see what you’re doing as “making love” instead of just getting it on.

They stay the night when you’re done.

Sure, some people do decide to stay the night after scoring a successful booty call or enjoying a one-night stand because it’s convenient. It’s a lot more typical for the person to want to get dressed and bounce after the sex is over, though. Why hang out or chat when there’s no real connection outside of the bedroom?

When someone’s really into you, whether you’ve known each other long or not, it’s different. Not only will they want to stay the night, but they’ll welcome the chance to get to know you better and spend more time soaking up your presence. They’ll be more into the idea of cuddling and really going deep when it comes to the conversation, as well.

You feel comfortable being yourself.

Not just outside the bedroom but between the sheets, as well. Casual sex with someone when there’s no deeper connection can be a good time, but it’s not always easy to really let go and let it all hang out. Is this usually the case for you? If so, feeling a level of personal comfort you wouldn’t typically feel could signal that one lover, in particular, is more than that.

Do you find it easier to let go of your inhibitions with this person? Does asking for what you want and enjoying every second of it come naturally? And what about them? Do you get the impression they get lost in you and your connection when you’re in bed together? Are there delicate details that probably wouldn’t be there if it were just a one-night stand – like eye contact, hand-holding, or caressing?

Of course, no two people or connections are precisely alike, so signs like the above may vary from couple to couple. But the more of them you’ve noticed, the more likely it is that your sexual connection is about more than just getting down and dirty in the bedroom. Now all you need to do is decide where you’d like it to go from here.

6 Ways to Push Your Sexual Boundaries

Never make the mistake of thinking you and your partner need to be suffering through a dry spell or stuck in a rut to benefit from a bit of experimentation. Sex is an integral part of staying connected in any relationship. Making it a point to try new things once in a while keeps things fun, fresh, and red hot.

It doesn’t necessarily take a dramatic change for you to reap the benefits, either. The following are some practical but approachable ways to push your sexual boundaries and add a little oomph to your love play.

1.      Take turns exploring each other’s fantasies.

If you’re not sure where to start, this is an excellent place. Confessing a pet fantasy to a partner and listening to them do the same is an incredible way to build intimacy. It’s also a huge turn-on, especially if these are things, you’d typically keep to yourselves.

Declare a “no judgment” zone to keep things comfortable, and then take turns swapping fantasies. Make a list of the ones you’re both open to trying. Come back to it when you’re in the mood to be a little naughty or are in the mood to surprise a partner with a treat.

2.      Try some backdoor play on for size.

Anal play is already on the menu for lots of couples, but if you’re an exception, it’s something well worth considering. Your backdoor is packed with sensitive nerve endings that feel amazing when stimulated just right, and that goes for your partner, too.

If you’re comfortable trying full-on anal sex, more power to you, but keep in mind that there’s more to butt play than that. Anal toys or even your fingers are just as capable of introducing you to the magic. Just make sure you use plenty of lube if you’re planning anything penetrative.

3.      Start a shared toy collection.

Vibrators and other sex toys are, of course, phenomenal when enjoyed alone, but they can be just as world-changing when brought into the bedroom to use with a partner. Start with what you already have, experiment a little, and see how you like it.

If all goes well, consider starting a toy chest for the two of you to dip into whenever the mood strikes. Fill it with a wide variety of different options, and take turns suggesting new additions. Doing the actual shopping together can be super-hot, as well, so consider making it a team effort.

4.      Indulge your inner exhibitionist.

Although you definitely want to be careful not to get caught, getting a little naughty in public now and again is a great way to make sex more exciting. Thankfully, you don’t have to do anything too high-risk to get a real thrill out of the experience.

Drive to an out-of-the-way place, and channel your inner teenagers by having sex in the car. Experiment with a discreet remote-controlled sex toy one of you can wear and the other can operate without anyone nearby being any the wiser. Get frisky in your backyard or on your balcony after dark. Be as creative as you like! Your sex life will thank you for it.

5.      Schedule a “no clothes allowed” day.

Being naked is one of life’s simplest and most drastically underrated pleasures. Not only is it pretty freeing to spend a little time in your birthday suit now and then, but being naked with a partner is just plain sexy. The two of you get to drink up the sight of one another, as well as the feeling of each other’s skin, without necessarily having sex the whole time.

Try planning an all-day nude fest for a day you’re both free and can be sure you’ll have the place all to yourselves. Have sex as often as you like, and have fun hanging out in the nude the rest of the time. It’s so much fun.

6.      Dabble in some mild BDSM play.

You don’t need to go all-out with whips, chains, and the whole nine yards to get a jolt out of what BDSM brings to the table. Experimenting with concepts like submission, domination, role reversal, and orgasm denial isn’t just fun. It’s a terrific way to push your sexual boundaries together and discover some new scenarios you might both be really into.

Light spankings, temperature play, blindfolding, and mild restraint are all great places to start, especially if one or both of you are new to BDSM. Don’t ever spring something like this on your partner without discussing it beforehand, though. Consent is sexy, as well as an essential part of responsible BDSM play.

However, you and your partner choose to stay connected, a little sexual boundary pushing goes a really long way. Start as small as you like, and revisit the idea as often as you’re moved to!

Meet the Momenta: An Innovative Approach to Kegel Balls

If you’re like most women, then chances are you’re aware of the benefits of making Kegel exercises a part of your ongoing self-care routine. Not only do Kegels help you tone and maintain the muscles of your pelvic floor, but they can improve your sex life, as well. (Think stronger orgasms and a tighter fit!)

Adding a set of Kegel balls to the mix can help you get more out of your Kegel sessions and elevate the experience in various ways. However, not all the options out there on the market are created equally. The incredible Momenta from FemmeFunn is one pick that you’re unlikely to regret, though. Here’s a closer look at the benefits of using Kegel balls, as well as the perks of using the Momenta, in particular.

Why Add Kegel Balls to the Mix?

Most women understand that Kegels are basic “clench and release” moves designed to tone and activate the pelvic floor. However, many women aren’t always sure whether they’re doing them correctly, targeting the right muscles, or benefiting the way that they should be. Kegel balls take a lot of the guesswork out of the process, as they’re specially designed to locate and target the right muscles accurately.

Many Kegel ball options are designed to bring some additional pleasure to the table while you’re using them, as well. Momenta Kegel Balls are one of these options, so you’ll definitely want to give it a second look if you want your Kegels to be more than just another item on your daily to-do list.

Sensation Sure to Curl Your Toes

The Momenta makes the process of getting in your daily Kegel session positively orgasmic thanks to a suite of delectable sensations you’ll love. First, the Momenta’s unique design produces a pleasant rattling sensation that feels just like heaven when applied to all those sensitive internal nerve endings. Just slip it into place, and enjoy the ride as you go about your daily business.

A multi-function vibration feature even further enhances the Momenta for even more naughty fun. A powerful FemmeFunn motor delivers deep, rumbling vibrations that are sure to hit you just right. It also comes equipped with ten different functions to explore and experiment with. Last but not least, there’s a handy memory feature, as well, so your Momenta is always ready to pick things up right where you last left off.

Deliciously Practical and User-Friendly

Some sex toys may be complicated and come attached to a bit of a learning curve, but you can rest easy in the knowledge the Momenta isn’t one of them. A foolproof design slides in easily with a bit of lube (if you need it) and settles into place naturally, so you don’t have to guess at whether it’s in the right spot.

A slim-fit stem connects the double-ball body of the Momenta inside you to the controls that sit comfortably on the outside, so fine tuning your experience is always simple. The Momenta is made of ultra-premium medical grade silicone, as well. Not only does it feel velvety smooth against your skin, but it’s body-safe and practically effortless to care for. Elaborate cleaning routines simply aren’t part of the mix when you choose the Momenta.

Fits Comfortably into Your Life

You only need to limit your use of the Momenta to private, at-home solo use if you want to. It’s designed to fit seamlessly into your lifestyle and gel with a wide variety of situations.

Compact, ultra-portable dimensions mean your Momenta Kegel Balls are capable of going wherever you go. Take it with you in your carry-on luggage or overnight bag, so you’re never without it when you go out of town. Slip it into your purse, your glove compartment, or pocket on your way out the door, so it’s always at the ready.

Your Momenta’s also a perfect fit for a little discreet, naughty fun anytime and anywhere. Its wirelessly controlled motor is powerful, but it’s also whisper-quiet, so no one knows you’re enjoying a little something special except for you. It’s also waterproof, so feel free to enjoy your next Kegel session in the shower or tub. You’ll love what it does for your morning routine!

How Can You Tell If You’re Good in Bed?

If you’re sexually active, then it’s probably pretty safe to assume you hope you’re good in bed. After all, everyone wants to be the kind of person who leaves a lover hungry for more and stays on a person’s mind long after an encounter is over. There are many people out there who aren’t so hot at sex, though, and it’s not like most partners are going to tell someone if that’s the case.

So, how can you tell whether you’re really the sexual dynamo you hope you are? It’s easier than you think. You just have to know how to go about looking for answers. Here’s a closer look at how you can tell whether you’re knocking it out of the park in the bedroom in general.

You’re super confident.

This is one thing every person who’s excellent in bed has in common. They’re confident to the bone. They also know that being great in bed isn’t necessarily about having a flawless gym body or being model-gorgeous. It’s about never second-guessing yourself and always going into sex, assuming you’re going to be awesome.

The interesting thing about confidence is that when you believe in your own abilities, other people tend to believe in them, too. Work on your body image and any hang-ups you may have about your physique or about sex. Cultivate a healthy sense of self-love. You’ll be where you want to be before you know it.

You’re a great communicator.

People who are good in bed genuinely enjoy sex. They love establishing that connection with another person, and they can’t get enough of how good sex feels. They not only know what they like in bed, but they’re comfortable communicating it to their partner. They understand that excellent communication is a two-way street, as well, so they’re just as terrific at listening to their lovers.

If you don’t already know your way around your body and understand what types of stimulation bring you the most pleasure, it’s time to find out. Buy an outstanding quality vibrator, and spend some time experimenting. Then get vocal and let your partner know exactly how you like it.

You love everything about sex from start to finish.

As incredible as a seriously toe-curling orgasm can be, great sex is about more than just that big finish. People who are great in bed savor every step of the journey along the way. They love the tension that comes with craving someone and flirting up a storm. They love undressing themselves and their lover. They love basking in the glow of the things they’ve just done when it’s all over, as well.

People who are great lays aren’t in any rush to reach the finish line. They take their time and appreciate every little grunt, groan, caress, and kiss along the way. They like long, lush marathon love sessions, quickies, and everything in between, as well.

You love making your partner feel good.

While enjoying sex yourself and making sure you walk away satisfied is essential, so is paying attention to your partner. People who are fantastic in bed go out of their way to learn what does it for the other person. They also understand that no two people or bodies are exactly alike, so they don’t simply assume that what worked for their ex will get the job done for someone new.

Great sex partners are also respectful of their partners’ boundaries. They care about the other person’s feelings and are loving and patient. They’re considerate when they’re not in the mood or just not into something new they may have tried. They never force the issue or try to pressure someone into doing something they don’t want.

You’re open to trying new things.

People who are good in bed are masters of variety, and they know how important it is to keep things fresh in the bedroom. They’re always open to trying new things or thinking outside the box, whether that means exploring lots of new positions, roleplaying, or trying out new sex toys together every once in a while.

Sexual dynamos don’t just love sex. They’re curious about it and always looking for ways to make it even better. So, don’t let yourself get set in your ways and stick with the same old things just because they work. Share fantasies with your partner and encourage them to share, as well. Alternate between planning for luxurious love sessions and being spontaneous. Experiment with new positions, locations, and techniques.

Although it’s never possible to be 100 percent certain that you’re great in bed, especially when “good in bed” is such a relative concept anyway, you’re on the right track if you’re genuinely in love with sex. Never stop looking for ways to love it even more. You’ll be better for it.

How to Get Comfortable Talking to Your Partner About Sex

At this point, everyone knows they should be comfortable talking to their partner about sex, especially if they’re married or otherwise in a long-term committed relationship. The truth is, though, that it’s often easier to want to do it than it is to open your mouth and start a real conversation.

Some people are shy or were brought up to see sex as something you never talk about. Others just aren’t sure how to get started or bring up something difficult. But thankfully, making sex a regular conversation topic between you and your partner is definitely possible with a bit of practice and the right approach. Here’s how you can start the process.

Don’t leave talking about sex up to your partner.

Many people who want to talk to their partner about sex simply assume that their partners are on the same page. They then take a passive approach to the topic and wait for the other person to bring it up so they don’t have to. Your partner can’t read your mind in actuality, and they may well not realize you want to be more open about sex.

Even if it’s hard, it’s essential to be brave enough to start the conversation yourself. Of course, it’s best to establish a habit of talking about sex early on in a relationship, but it’s also important to realize that it’s never too late to start. Remember that you don’t have to leap headfirst into graphic discussions about your most taboo fetishes right off the bat. Start with something more approachable like consent or birth control, and take it from there.

Know what you want out of the conversation.

Before you can open a productive dialogue about sex, it’s important to be clear on what you want to come of it. That means knowing yourself and understanding yourself sexually. What triggered the desire to open up a discussion? Is there something you’re not getting from your partner that you’d like to ask for? Are you hoping to build intimacy with your partner?

Take some time to really think about what you’d like to go over when you do sit down to talk. Possible talking points include ways your sex life might not be as satisfying for you as you’d like it to be. You may want to talk about your fantasies or hear your partner talk about theirs. Maybe there’s a physical issue you’d like to talk about. Write it down beforehand if it makes it easier to get clear on a few things.

Keep things as positive as possible.

Many of the reasons people want to talk to their partner about sex have to do with wanting to pursue something they need but aren’t getting. That can make it all too easy to come at the topic from a negative angle that can put their partner on the defensive. Instead, you want to lead with a positive and be sensitive to your partner’s feelings. Think about how you’d like your partner to approach you if the shoe were on the other foot.

  • If you need to discuss something that may be taken as a criticism, open by commenting on something you adore about how your partner makes love.
  • Make “I” statements, as opposed to “you” ones. For example, say “I’d love to try this with you,” as opposed to “you never do this.” It helps avoid the implication that you blame your partner for what’s wrong.
  • Be kind, but be clear, as well. You won’t make any progress if you don’t make yourself understood.

Bring your partner in on the discussion.

Although it’s important to address whatever your concerns or desires may be, don’t forget that conversations involve two people and two points of view. Yes, you should talk, but you’ll want to listen, as well. Really listen, instead of simply thinking about what you want to say next while your partner is talking.

Then ask questions to get a better idea of where your partner is coming from. Encourage them to ask you any questions they might have, as well. The more sensitive the topic, the more critical it becomes that both of you actively listen to one another.

Take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure.

Many bedroom issues, performance anxiety included, stem from the notion that an orgasm is something you give your partner (or vice versa.) In reality, your pleasure is something you’re responsible for and choosing to share with your partner.

In the interests of knowing yourselves better, each of you should be spending some solo time where you focus solely on yourselves. Experiment with sex toys, learn what you like, and then come back together to discuss your discoveries. Don’t worry if it feels a little awkward at first. In time, it will become much more natural. Practice makes perfect!

The Dos and Don’ts of Taking a New Partner to Bed

If there’s one experience that can be nearly as terrifying as it is exhilarating, it’s going to bed with someone new. On the one hand, you’re thrilled that it’s finally time to take things to the next level. But on the other, you’re worried things won’t go as smoothly as you hope. Then, even casual sex requires a certain degree of trust that isn’t always easy to give.

Thankfully, while sex with a brand new partner isn’t always uncomplicated, it doesn’t have to be rocket science either. Here are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind the next time you’re ready to get horizontal with someone new. Your nerves will be history in no time.

DO check your expectations at the door.

When your pants are really on fire for someone, in particular, it can be hard not to get your hopes up when it’s finally time to get horizontal together. You want to keep your expectations in check, though, even if your chemistry is incredible. Sometimes sex is mind-blowing right from day one, but often, it takes time for things to click with someone new.

DON’T be overly adventurous right away.

A lot of people see a romp with someone new as a golden opportunity to really pull out all the stops, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that needs to be an approach that feels comfortable for both of you. A first love session isn’t necessarily the best time to flex by whipping out your copy of the Kama Sutra or going from zero to hardcore BDSM in an instant. Start with the basics. If that goes well, there’s plenty of time to bust out your signature moves in the future.

DO bring a toothbrush with you.

Or a tin of mints or a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash. You get the picture. Bad breath has a way of rearing its ugly head right when it’s least convenient. If you come fully prepared, you’ll be able to take action if you’re concerned there was too much garlic in the pasta you ordered at dinner. You’ll also be ready to rock first thing in the morning if things go well enough to lead to a full-on sleepover.

DON’T forget the protection.

Contraception is everyone’s responsibility, so never assume that the other person will take care of it. Don’t assume even if they’ve told you they’d take care of it. If they don’t actually follow through, you’ll wind up having to interrupt your fun to make a condom run at best, and that’s hardly an ideal way to start a first lovemaking session. And while we’re on the topic of preparedness, it’s not a bad idea to bring along a travel bottle of condom-safe lube just in case, either.

DO keep things light and playful.

Remember, sex is supposed to be fun. However, it also happens to be a little messy and wild sometimes. Human bodies do things like making interesting noises at the worst possible times, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, laughing it off to show it’s no big deal is a much better reaction to a wayward fart or queef than getting nervous or trying to pretend that it never happened at all. Plus, a little laughter and playfulness often make the experience more fun, so relax, and try not to take things so seriously.

DON’T hesitate to speak up.

When you’re with someone new, you don’t yet have a road map to go by, but there’s a bright side to that. Finding out what turns someone on and watching them light up when you try it is great fun. That said, don’t be afraid to communicate, both verbally and nonverbally. Let your partner know when they’re doing something you love. Ask them how what you’re doing feels to them, as well. Everyone’s different when it comes to what does it for them, so when in doubt, ask.

DO forget about how you look.

Everyone has hang-ups about their body and looks, but don’t let yours ruin your good time with your new partner. Remember that if you’re in bed together, they’re already into what you have going on. It’s highly unlikely that they’ll notice or care about your alleged imperfections, so do yourself a favor and forget about them, too. Fixating too much on such things will only put a damper on your good time.

DON’T hyper-focus on orgasm.

No one’s saying you shouldn’t go after an orgasm or try to help your partner have one of their own. Just don’t make orgasm the be-all and end-all of your experience. Remember, it takes some time to find your rhythm and learn what gets you both there. Just relax, enjoy the ride, and embrace the orgasms with open arms if they do happen.

Is It Possible to Overcome Sexual Incompatibility?

Just about anyone’s familiar with “that feeling.” It’s the one you get when you’ve been seeing someone for a while, and everything was going perfectly… until you took things into the bedroom. Now instead of being effortlessly in sync with one another sexually the way you thought you’d be, things aren’t going so hot, and you’re left wondering what to do next.

Don’t worry. You don’t need to call it quits just yet, no matter how crucial great sex is to you. Sexual incompatibility is more common than you may realize, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your partner (or with you). Here’s a closer look at some of the more common issues, as well as a few tips for handling them like champs.

One (or both) of you has trouble reaching orgasm.

Everyone’s different when it comes to their ability to have an orgasm with a partner. Some people can do so easily, while others (especially women) might struggle more. Everyone has their own pet way to be touched or stimulated which does it for them, as well. There are even people out there who never have orgasms, even by themselves. None of these things indicate a problem with the person or their partner. Ultimately, all that matters is that you’re both happy with things in this arena.

If you’re unhappy with your relationship’s orgasm situation, fixing the issue starts with honest communication. Put your heads together and come up with some ways to shake things up. For instance, toys make it much easier to have orgasms consistently, and they make incredible additions to your partnered sex life. Try using one together and seeing what happens.

One of you values sex more than the other.

No two people are alike when it comes to how important sex might be to them, either. Some people consider it vitally important, while someone else might be able to take it or leave it. Still, more people are closer to the asexual end of the spectrum and don’t much like sex at all, even if they do very much want to be in a relationship.

Again, there’s no right or wrong way to be when it comes to sex drive, so don’t jump to the conclusion that something’s wrong with one of you. Differing libidos call for compromises that work for both people, so it’s time to put your heads together and talk. Most couples deal with permanent or temporary libido differences and can settle on a mutually agreeable middle ground.

You feel compelled to do things in bed you don’t enjoy.

Everyone has things that do it for them in the bedroom and things that are total turn-offs. So, what happens when your partner’s absolute favorite sex acts are the exact same things you can’t stand doing? If you’re like a lot of people, you might feel compelled to simply go along to get along, hoping things will work themselves out, but what if that never happens?

No one should ever feel like they have to do things they’re not comfortable with just to please a partner, so it’s time to ask yourself why this is the case for you. Are you concerned that your partner will be angry if you don’t? If so, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re with them in the first place. But if you’re just eager to please them, it’s time to talk things through with your partner. They likely have no idea you feel the way you do and would be happy to change things up.

One (or both) of you are bashful about sex.

Although it might seem as if everyone is super-comfortable talking about sex almost non-stop, this is far from the case. Plenty of people are more reserved about it for any number of reasons. Some are old-fashioned and see it as a private matter not to be discussed openly. Others are merely shy and find it hard to open up on the topic, even with their partner.

Whether you have it or not, sex is an important topic when you’re in a relationship, so it’s essential to be able to discuss it comfortably with each other. Open up the lines of communication a little at a time with baby steps. In time, even the most bashful people can reach a healthy level of comfort with their sexuality. It’s their partners’ job to be patient and understanding throughout the process.

At the end of the day, compatibility issues in the bedroom are not a death sentence for a relationship. Many couples experience them at one point or another, so a solid understanding of how to work through them is a must. Communication, understanding, compromise, and compassion are the keys to getting the two of you where you’d like to be.

How to Bring Your Sex Toy and Your Partner Together

There are lots of ways to make sex with your partner even hotter than it already is, but adding a sex toy to the mix is definitely one of the most powerful. A toy brings a variety of unique sensations to the table for both of you. It also takes a lot of the guesswork out of having as many orgasms as you want, so you can focus on what really counts – each other.

However, knowing you’d like to get your partner and your favorite vibrator in the same room, making beautiful music together is one thing. Figuring out how to do that without things getting awkward is another matter entirely. Here are a few practical things to remember to ensure things go as smoothly as possible.

Overcoming Potential Fears or Reservations

For most people, the big fear when bringing up the possibility of using a sex toy in the bedroom is that their partner will feel replaced or upstaged somehow. In most cases, there’s nothing to worry about. Your partner might be more knowledgeable and open-minded than you think when it comes to sex toys and the reasons why someone might want to bring one into the bedroom.

However, if you’re still concerned, assure your partner that there’s no such thing as a replacement for a loving experience with a living, breathing partner. Even the fanciest vibrator can’t kiss, touch, or connect with you the way another person can. A toy is merely a tool that can help enhance that connection.

Bringing Up the Subject

When you and your partner talk about sex, what’s the specific context? Ideally, sex isn’t just something you talk about when there’s a problem that needs addressing. You should talk about it freely, often, and in as positive a context as possible. Getting into the habit of letting your partner know when they’ve pleased you is always worthwhile.

When it comes to making sexual requests, it helps to lead with a positive. Tell your partner how much you loved something they did the last time you were intimate. Then bring up the topic of the toy and mention how much you’d love using it with them. And simply be honest about whatever it is you’re feeling. If the topic makes you feel shy, excited, curious, or something else entirely, share that.

Choosing the Right Sex Toy for the Job

If both of you like the idea of starting with a go-to toy you already have, that’s perfectly okay. However, sex toys are far from one-size-fits-all. Take some time to discuss the types of sensations you each like best and would most enjoy exploring together via a toy. Are you guys all about oral or mutual masturbation? Is penetrative sex an absolute must when you’re intimate together?

If you, your partner, or both of you are brand new to using sex toys as a couple, you may find it most comfortable to integrate a toy into whatever you already enjoy doing together. If you’re into penetrative sex, a small, wearable toy like a cock ring might be a good choice. If you like using a toy for external stimulation, try something small and versatile that lets you thoroughly explore the possibilities – like a bullet vibrator or a vibrating egg.

Picking out a new toy together can be a great way to bond with a partner and help them feel involved in what’s going on if they’re nervous about the idea. Log onto your favorite online sex shop and look through the offerings. Take turns pointing out items you think would be fun to try, pick out one or two favorites, and enjoy the anticipation of waiting for your order to arrive.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Talking about what you’re doing together before you get started is undoubtedly essential. However, the lines of communication should also stay open while you play. If something feels good, let your partner know and encourage them to do the same. Spelling things out with words is fine, but sometimes moans, gasps, and other sounds of pleasure do just as well.

When you’re done, keep talking. Did you both enjoy what happened and are you down for trying it again sometime? Go over what you each liked most about the experience. Ask each other what you’d like to try differently the next time you play with a sex toy. As you add to your collective experience, try different positions on for size. Add to your toy collection, always keep touching base with one another, and talk about what you’ve been doing.

The more you talk about sex and the more new things you try, the better and deeper your sexual relationship with your partner will become. Explore the possibilities, and enjoy the journey!

6 Expert Tips for Keeping a Casual Sexual Relationship Casual

Casual sex and friends-with-benefits relationships are fantastic for so many reasons. Not only are they great ways to keep the sizzle in your sex life, but they’re a terrific approach to sex for people who aren’t ready for a relationship but crave an intimate connection with another person. Sometimes actually keeping things casual over the long haul can be challenging, though.

Getting horizontal with someone is already intimate, but it only becomes more so with repetition. The possibility of catching feelings sooner or later, whether you’re ready for that or not, is very real. It pays to be prepared, though. Here are some tips for keeping feelings at bay so you and your FWB can keep enjoying your sexual connection without complications.

1.      Be honest with yourself.

Honesty is the key to casual sex relationships that are fun and fulfilling without crossing any emotional lines they shouldn’t. Yes, a large part of that means being honest with the other person about your needs, desires, and intentions. However, you also need to be honest with yourself.

Are you an emotional person in general? And if so, is your would-be FWB someone you already care about on a deeper level? Could either of you secretly be expecting something else to come of this? If you can’t honestly answer “no” to those questions, proceed at your own risk.

2.      Put limits on your time together.

Although there’s nothing wrong with enjoying some lively pillow talk after a delicious romp, keep in mind that this isn’t a boyfriend or girlfriend you’re in bed with. Keep proper boundaries intact by limiting your interactions to bedroom activities only.

Don’t linger in bed and have long, emotional conversations while cuddling. Don’t hang out on the couch all evening, catching up on The Mandalorian together. Don’t call them up on a Saturday so you can hit the farmer’s market or the hiking trail together. Otherwise, it’s just a matter of time before one or both of you starts feeling like you’re in a relationship.

3.      Set clear ground rules that you both agree to.

The idea of setting rules and boundaries may seem to go against the very fabric of what casual sex is all about, but this isn’t really the case. You’re not following arbitrary rules set by the rest of society. You and your FWB are developing your own rules custom-created to work for you, so both of you know where you stand.

The rules themselves are up to you, but most people pick options specifically designed to keep from catching feelings and otherwise blurring lines that need to remain nice and clear. Examples include a moratorium on spending the night, no meetups during the day, no exclusivity, and so forth.

4.      Just say “no” to gifts.

Gifts are the type of thing you exchange with people who have meaningful emotional roles in your life, so they should be off the table if you’re serious about not bringing feelings into the mix. Giving (or receiving) gifts implies your relationship is anything but casual.

The only possible exception here would be gifts of a sexual nature, so long as they’re playfully given and solely meant to enhance your sex escapades together. Examples might include adult toys, like the Ultra Wand, sex gear, and so forth.

5.      Compartmentalize your life.

You introduce a serious boyfriend or girlfriend to your friends. You invite them as your “plus one” when you’re on your way to your cousin’s wedding. You bring them along as your guest to your office holiday party and introduce them around to your coworkers. You don’t do these things with a casual sex buddy.

Introducing a casual sex partner to other people in your life is only going to confuse everyone involved. Your partner won’t know where they stand, and your other loved ones aren’t going to know what to make of this new person in your life. Don’t mix and match parts of your life that shouldn’t be merging. Compartmentalization is the key to keeping everything (and everyone) in their proper places.

6.      Keep seeing other people.

The whole point of having casual sex is to keep your options open and avoid the commitments that inevitably come when you’re exclusive. The best way to do this is to keep seeing other people and encourage your FWB to do the same.

Remember, going the casual route is about doing what feels good to you and what makes you happy. Friends-with-benefits relationships are about two people coming together to meet their own needs. The goal is to make yourselves happy, not to make each other happy.

Of course, if you both eventually decide you want more than just casual sex, it’s okay to reevaluate your relationship and switch gears. Otherwise, though, boundaries are the key to keeping things from drifting off course.

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