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Postpartum Sex & How It Affects Orgasms

It may seem like after having a kid, every part of your life as you know changes. Sure, incubating and giving birth to a little human does a number on your sleep routine, body, and emotions, but have you ever considered how it can affect your sex life, or more specifically, your ability to orgasm?

Well, the short (and most straightforward) answer is that eventually, it’s often a lot like sex before giving birth!

Remember that the human body is designed for pregnancy, but also for recovery; nature wants you to have as many children as possible. Nevertheless, pregnancy (and birth) may be quite taxing on the body, so it’s fair that it may take some time to bounce back.

Doctors generally recommend waiting six weeks following vaginal delivery to have sex to heal lacerations and episiotomies (incisions made between the vagina and anus to help delivery). 

C-sections are also considered “major abdominal surgery,” so doctors usually recommend waiting six to eight weeks before getting back at it. 

However, regardless of the type of delivery you had, there may be undetected complications such as trauma to underlying tissue, even though everything on the surface appears to recover rapidly. 

This explains why they strongly suggest waiting the recommended time, even though patients often start having sex again sooner.

But what happens if (as many have done before) you partake in the horizontal fandango before then?

Potentially nothing. But, because your cervix is still extra-dilated after giving birth, you could possibly reopen healing wounds or, in rare situations, develop an infection since intercourse increases the likelihood of bacteria coming into contact with your uterus.

Now, although we’ve painted a rather grim picture, and you may think that your postpartum sex life will be scarred forever, it’s important to note that many people report having MORE OR BETTER orgasms after birth. 

And while some may experience issues such as painful orgasms or sex, they can typically regain their sexual abilities with the support of a healthcare specialist such as a pelvic floor physical therapist.

The key here is not to become dismayed—you’re not alone!

Below, we explore the possible ways your sex life may change after delivery and the steps you can take if you’re bothered by them.

1. Your vagina may not feel as tight as it did previously (but not to an extreme!)

OK, don’t freak out. This is quite normal. If it happens to you, it shouldn’t hinder your sex life. Vaginal tightness may not return to its pre-delivery state after a baby has passed through the birth canal. 

It may feel a bit different from both your and your partner’s sides, but it won’t affect your ability to enjoy sex thoroughly. 

Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles with Kegels. Like any other type of exercise, the more Kegels you do, the greater the benefits. Momenta is a set of Kegel balls that doubles as a sex toy you can use with a partner. Whether using them for pelvic floor exercise or as a sex toy (or both), simply insert them into your vagina and experience the sensual combination of vibrations and rattling, blended for harmonious strength and stimulation. 

A quick disclaimer though…if you feel like something’s up and your vagina feels vastly different compared to pre-pregnancy, consult your doctor to check for any abnormalities.

2. You may pee slightly during sex

The pelvic floor, which supports your uterus, rectum, and bladder, weakens during pregnancy. According to the American Pregnancy Association, this happens primarily because your uterus swells to the size of a watermelon during the third trimester. 

Whether you deliver vaginally or by C-section, it can be challenging to manage your urine afterward. However, vaginal delivery might aggravate the situation. You may experience leakage when you sneeze, cough, or have sex. 

Again, doing Kegel exercises during pregnancy and after childbirth can reduce the probability of this happening (but don’t worry, your muscles usually become stronger with time and reduce the likelihood of this!)

3. If you’re breastfeeding, you may notice a reduction in lubrication.

You can thank your hormones for this one. While nursing, your estrogen levels are decreased, and estrogen is one of the primary contributors to vaginal lubrication. 

This will not necessarily make sex uncomfortable, but it may cause an irritating dryness that reduces your pleasure. Keep lubrication on hand to avoid this problem.

4. You could bleed during intercourse

If you’ve given birth vaginally, you could have some bleeding the first few times you become sexually active. 

The blood may be disconcerting, but it generally occurs as a result of your sensitive cervix experiencing heightened uterine activity (having an orgasm produces oxytocin, which can cause your uterus to contract).  If you notice anything other than minimal bleeding, consult your doctor to confirm that your recovery is going as planned.

5. You may be worried about having sex (fyi, this is entirely natural!)

When it comes to emotions and feelings post-birth, any mother will tell you that that rollercoaster is one hell of a ride. So, while every emotion and feeling is completely valid, having mixed feelings about sex post-delivery is completely understandable.

When it comes to having sex again, your emotions may fall into every part of the emotional spectrum. Some individuals are overwhelmed by the prospect, while others are more eager than ever before having a baby. 

While apprehension is generally the norm, if a woman feels entirely put off, uninterested in, or irritated by having sex after childbirth when she previously didn’t, this could indicate postpartum depression.

woman breastfeeding a baby - Postpartum Sex - Breastfeeding may trigger sexual pleasure

6. Breastfeeding may trigger sexual pleasure (and even orgasm!)

Although this fact may seem utterly bizarre, physiologically, it makes sense. Our body produces oxytocin when we have an orgasm. This is the same hormone released during breastfeeding and can cause the uterus to contract and potentially result in an orgasm.

Also, if nipple stimulation is enjoyable for you, you may find breastfeeding pleasurable (oxytocin in itself increases pleasure!) This is common and natural and does not indicate anything is wrong with you or your child.

7. Your boobs may leak milk when you orgasm

To add to what we’ve covered above, when you have sex, the flood of hormones like oxytocin can result in a milky surprise when you orgasm. Again, this is completely normal, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about!

8. Psychological or relationship changes may have an impact on your sexual life.

Parenthood can cause many psychological and relational changes, which can impact people’s sex life in various ways. People may feel more attached to their relationships after delivery. Sometimes just being away from a demanding job is enough to decompress (not that raising a baby is any easier!)

Childbirth can also have a negative impact on your sexual mentality or relationship if the delivery was traumatic, you’re suffering from postpartum depression or other mental health concerns, you’re too tired for sex, or parenting is causing tension with your partner.

If someone finds themselves dealing with concerns like these, they may benefit from the help of a psychotherapist or sex therapist.

9. Sex after childbirth may be better than you think

Many people enjoy sex more after birth than before they had children! Sometimes, giving birth awakens us to a spectrum of sensations, and as a result, our bodies, particularly our genitals, become more sensitive, enhancing our pleasure potential. 

Childbirth can also reposition our internal organs, making them more receptive to stimulation. Many women become more comfortable with their bodies and have more intense orgasms after having children.

10. Your orgasm may actually feel stronger for a time

While science has yet to explain why this is the case, a few theories are floating about. One idea is that after birth, the nerves that supply feeling to the pelvis are traumatized.  Women often report feeling less [in that area] in the first week or two after giving birth. 

However, once those nerves heal, they may become hypersensitive…resulting in orgasms of supernova proportions. Although orgasm intensity usually goes back to pre-birth strength, this is still pretty rad!

Couple lying together on the bed with their new baby

Take it slow. You’re not alone.

Let’s face it, nothing lasts forever, and the postpartum phase will eventually fade into memory. But while you’re in it, experience it fully and go with the flow.

Allow yourself time to recover and adjust to your new role. You’ll want to have sex again, just as you want to sleep, go out with friends, and even think about giving birth again. 

Be honest and upfront with your partner, and remember that sometimes you just won’t be in the mood—there’s nothing wrong with you! 

Lastly (and perhaps most importantly), if you find that you’re not where you’d like to be and your sex life isn’t back to normal, don’t give up! 

You are not alone! Many other individuals are going through the same thing you are. And millions of people have gotten through it, are better, and have happy and healthy sex lives.

Your Chemical Romance: The Body’s Sexual Magic Formula

Sex can unleash a roller coaster of emotions, making it difficult to understand what’s going on in your body and brain. Whether it’s a casual or committed relationship (or even something in between), you’re bound to experience the feels of chemical romance…even if it’s just like having more sex! 

What’s fascinating is that those feelings are connected primarily to biology and brain chemistry. While there’s SO much more to sex than mere biology, knowing what’s going on in your body before, during, and after sex can make the experience even more remarkable.

But think about it…it makes perfect sense. Getting in touch with your body allows for a more comfortable and liberating experience—you’ll have a greater understanding of how you feel, what you enjoy, and how to ask for it. It could even improve communication between you and your partner and, in the long run, better satisfy your emotional and physical needs.

When you read about orgasms, hugs, kisses, and pleasure, you’ll often hear about how the brain is saturated with “feel-good” chemicals. You may even hear the words “oxytocin” or “dopamine.” (And for good reason!) 

These are two of the primary hot-shot neurotransmitters the brain produces when experiencing sexual pleasure. But, there’s even more where that came from—hormones and chemicals are abundant—all contributing to those delightful little explosions of sexual pleasure. 

Yep, science is fun

…and so is sex! 

Combine the two, and you’ll be in your element! (Pun intended)

So, without further ado, let’s dive into the fascinating world of your body’s chemical romance.

2 people being attracted to each other during the desire phase

The ‘Desire’ phase

MRI studies reveal heightened activity in specific brain parts before sex, notably the limbic system (your emotional center). This area of your brain is in charge of memory, fear, anger, and other emotions. 

Sex, like eating your favorite meal, gambling, receiving a compliment, or having fun with your fave vibe, induces the release of vast amounts of dopamine (known as the pleasure chemical). 

This, in turn, becomes a sensory experience that your brain “remembers” and you seek out—the greater the reward (in this example, sex), the greater the dopamine release, and the greater the desire to experience it again.

During this first stage of the sexual response cycle, your body becomes stimulated and prepares for sex. When this occurs, the neurotransmitter serotonin is released by the brain. This molecule is responsible for eliciting the feeling of happiness.

The vaginal walls begin to lubricate (hence the importance of foreplay), and the clitoris and surrounding tissue expand. Your heart begins to beat quicker, increasing blood pressure and breathing rate. It may happen in seconds for some and may take longer for others. 

2 people lying in bed

During sex

The peripheral nervous system sends signals to the brain when we touch, kiss, or engage in other sexual activities. The hypothalamus (which regulates all hormones in the body) reacts to arousal in the brain. 

It signals the body to produce testosterone. (That’s why people with low levels of this hormone find it hard to get aroused or experience orgasms!)

The hormone vasopressin causes blood vessels to constrict, the release of which affects male arousal. 

In women, the luteinizing hormone is positively associated with sexual excitement. This hormone reaches its peak just before ovulation when a woman’s eggs are preparing for fertilization. According to several studies, a woman’s gait (that is, the way she walks), voice, and scent change before ovulation.

Heightened continued sexual arousal results in the release of nitrogen oxide and noradrenaline. These substances boost blood flow to our genitalia, causing an erection, lubrication, and labia enlargement. (This is also why your nipples become more sensitive and erect!)

Your pulse, blood pressure, and breathing rate continue to rise depending on how vigorous the sex is. Dopamine and epinephrine (the adrenaline hormone) levels continue to increase during sex. As you approach climax, the muscles throughout your body may begin to tighten, owing to all the changes happening in the cerebellum.

The Plateau phase

The plateau phase is the period of sexual bliss preceding climax. In other words, the plateau represents the Mount Everest of sexual excitement. Heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and muscle tension rise throughout. The clitoris becomes highly sensitive and partially withdraws. The Bartholin glands produce additional lubrication.

Activity in several parts of the brain also rises; the amygdala is one of these. It is involved in memory processing, decision-making, and emotional reactions. 

The Orgasm 

Orgasm is the most pleasurable and shortest phase. Vulva owners are slightly luckier than penis owners since their orgasms last longer and can follow in multiples. That said, men have an advantage: it’s easier to achieve an orgasm.

Oxytocin secretion causes rhythmic muscle contraction and ejaculation. The larger the oxytocin release, the more intense the orgasm

The Nucleus Accumbens then rewards us with another significant hit of dopamine, which we experience as a soothing pleasure. More serotonin and DHEA are also released during climax. 

2 People lying in bed - Your Chemical Romance The Bodys Sexual Magic Formula - resolution phase

Resolution (or refractory) phase

During the resolution phase, your muscles start relaxing, your heart rate and breathing rate return to normal, and the body experiences pleasant tiredness.

Every individual’s refractory time is different, and various circumstances determine it. Some can be aroused again within a few minutes, while others require an hour or even a day. Researchers now know that the greater the oxytocin and prolactin output, the longer the refractory period.

The release of oxytocin fosters a sense of trust and makes us miss our partners, while prolactin boosts feelings of satisfaction following sexual pleasure and orgasm.

Funn Facts

A few more interesting facts about what happens to our bodies during sex…

  1. MRI scans reveal that orgasms involve approximately 30 active areas in our brains. These include, amongst others, the amygdala (memory and emotions), hypothalamus (subconscious body control), anterior cingulate cortex (impulse control and empathy), and nucleus accumbens (a feeling of euphoria).
  2. Sex is a natural painkiller. It causes endorphins to be released, which reduces pain and tension. According to research, pain sensitivity lessens during vaginal stimulation. Scientists think that this mechanism may be involved in childbirth.
  3. In general, men require some respite (a refractory phase) after ejaculation before they may be aroused again. Their neurons generally need a bit of time to produce the necessary amount of neurotransmitters. Since women do not have a refractory period, they can have many orgasms.

No matter how it looks, smells, or works…you gotta admit, the human body is amazing! Appreciate it, treat it well, and always make sure that you’re giving it a good dose of sexual magic!

 

Simply the Breast! Ten (HOT) Ways to Enjoy Breast Play

Funn Fact of the Day: Did you know that the breasts (particularly the nipples) constitute a humongous erogenous zone? Caressing the nipples affects the same brain region as stimulating the vagina, clitoris, and cervix!

It’s pretty neat that breast play in the form of breast massage and nipple stimulation can also increase vaginal lubrication and relax the pelvic floor muscles. Discovering what feels good for your and your partner’s breasts is a process—no one approach will feel good for everyone. 

While each person experiences the sensation of breast stimulation differently, it can be fun for everyone. And since fun is what we’re all about, we’ve compiled a list of breast play ideas so you can show your tatas some extra love during foreplay and beyond. 

(Also, in case you were wondering, these techniques can feel sensational for people of all genders, sexualities, and body types, regardless of whether they have bee stings or voluptuous fleshy mounds!)

Keep things interesting

Kissing, stroking, and licking your partner’s breast while purposefully avoiding the areola and nipple can be a massive turn-on if your partner is craving nipple stimulation. 

If your partner is really into nipple play, use your free hand to mirror your mouth’s motions, with your lips on one nipple and your hand on the other. But, if your partner is not too keen on direct nipple contact, caressing the rest of the breast can also be uber pleasurable.

beautiful woman with blindfold - Breast play - keep things interesting

Discover other sensations

Get the nipple wet with saliva by kissing and sucking the nipple, then blowing softly to trigger tingles. Experimenting with various sensations (like cold water or an ice cube) on the breast can feel fabulous.

Another option is to experiment with sensory play. Sensory play is the technique of reducing one or more of your senses in the bedroom to intensify the experience of the remaining senses.  

When you remove sight and sound from an intimate experience, your sense of touch becomes more acute. Blindfolds or headphones can block out noise and light while your partner caresses your body.  

Add a drop of lube (or two)

Lube is a gift from the sex gods to all of us—and not just for our genitals! A drop of lubricant used before intense nipple-rubbing or massage can provide the perfect amount of glide.

Try some teeth (but ask first!)

Nipple biting should begin slowly and gently. That being said, always ask your partner to help you uncover what they enjoy. If you’re given the green light, start slowly. Ask your partner how they feel and if the pressure is comfortable. 

You can then gradually raise the pressure if they choose. Ask that your partner tell you when you’ve hit their limit. This can give you an idea of what feels good so you know how much is too much in the future.

Don’t forget the rest of the chest

While the nipples often garner the most attention, the entire breast can also provide a bit of sensory overload. Explore the crease on the underside of the breast. Try kissing your partner on the sides of their rib cage. You could even give their clavicle, cleavage, (and even the top of their armpit) some love.

Experiment with two different touches or strokes and ask your spouse which one feels best. Touch two distinct parts of their body and ask which one they prefer.

Spice things up with lingerie

You don’t have to have curves like Kim Kardashian to wear lingerie! That’s right—people of all genders and body types can leverage the power of lingerie to get their sexy on. 

Besides making your boobs look oh-so-bootiful, some fabrics, such as satins and silks, can feel tantalizing on your skin. There are millions of different bra designs, but some of the sexiest include strategic cutouts, open cups, or sheer designs to make you feel hot and confident.

Have some fun!

Think vibrators are just for genital sensation? 

Nope. Vibrating sex toys aren’t only for below-the-belt!  A buzz on the nipples may be a terrific warm-up for sex. 

woman holding a bullet vibrator - breast play
Check out 6 Creative Ways to Use Your Bullet Vibrator

As previously mentioned, nipples are formed of erectile tissue, precisely like the places sex toys often target, making them ideal for the nipples and areola. Grab your ultra wand, bullet vibrator, or any other buzzing pleasure toy and offer your sex toys a second wind.

The gap between the arms of two-armed vibes (like Volea) makes them ideal for indirect stimulation and “stroking” motions. The sensation can be pretty powerful because they usually have motors in each “arm.” So, if you desire a massage experience and vibrations, this toy may be worth a try. 

Display them in a harness

Feeling confident increases sexual arousal and pleasure, so wearing something that makes you happy is paramount. Chest harnesses can be very sexy, and like lingerie, they enhance what you have. 

While many people associate harnesses with strap-on sex, there are several harnesses intended for chests of different shapes and sizes.

Make use of nipple clamps

Nipple clamps may look intimidating, but they’re simply tools used to heighten sensation in the nipples. Of course, you can get a little kinky and use them as part of consensual BDSM pain play, but nipple clamps don’t have to be painful. 

Choose an adjustable pair to change the pressure and adjust to your preference. Just don’t keep nipple clamps on for a super long period; instead, a 10-minute on, 5 minutes off routine.

Get some inspo from the clit

As bizarre as it may sound, sometimes how a person wants their clitoris stimulated is similar to how they enjoy their nipples played with. Try gentle, broad touches around the areola if someone has a super-sensitive clit that doesn’t prefer direct contact. 

If you’re dealing with a clit that only an Ultra Wand can adequately service, nibbling and sucking the nipple may very well be on the menu.

The ultimate juggernaut orgasm

Breast and nipple play, like clitoral stimulation, can trigger orgasms. Nipple orgasms are not only for real but can also boost the likelihood of other orgasms. Stimulating two erogenous zones, such as the breast and clitoral regions simultaneously, can induce a sensational blended orgasm by increasing arousal, engaging more nerves, and making orgasm easier and stronger.

So what are you waiting for? Get your breast partitty started!

 

Feeling Burnt Out? Masturbation Can Help!

Masturbation can help you learn what you like sexually, and, well, it just feels good! But did you know that masturbation can be great for your mental health, too? 

Aside from making you feel ahhhmazing, masturbation is an excellent tool for de-stressing. While masturbation alone isn’t an effective treatment for mental health conditions, it can relieve some symptoms, such as those resulting from burnout. 

(If you’re not already masturbating regularly, you might want to add it into your routine)

Not convinced yet? No stress! 

We’ve got the scoop on keeping burnout at bay with a lil bit of self-love.

 

What is burnout?

Psychologist Herbert Freudenberger coined the term “burnout” in the 1970s to define an intense stress condition that results in extreme physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. Burnout, which is more severe than fatigue, makes it difficult for people to cope with stress and perform day-to-day tasks.

People who are burnt out frequently feel they have nothing more to contribute and may dread getting out of bed each morning. 

Burnout doesn’t just disappear on its own; if it’s not treated, it can lead to other serious mental and physical illnesses.

What is burnout

Symptoms of burnout

Exhaustion

Feeling physically and emotionally depleted. Headaches, stomachaches, and changes in eating or sleeping patterns are all possible physical signs.

Isolation

People who are burned out often feel overwhelmed. As a result, they may withdraw from socializing and confide in friends, family, and coworkers.

Escape fantasies

People who are burned out may fantasize about running away or taking a solitary trip because they are dissatisfied with the never-ending responsibilities of their job. 

Irritability

Burnout might make it easier to lose one’s cool with friends, coworkers, and family members. Coping with everyday concerns such as preparing for a work meeting, taking kids to school, and tending to domestic responsibilities may often become overwhelming, especially when things don’t go as planned.

Recurrent illnesses 

Burnout, like other forms of long-term stress, can weaken your immune system, leaving you more vulnerable to colds, flu, and sleeplessness. 

 

How masturbation can prevent burnout

We all know that masturbation feels great. But, truthfully, sexual pleasure is a necessary aspect of self-care. Giving yourself pleasure should be as important as eating breakfast and combing your hair. Why? 

Well, because it’s really good for you! When we orgasm, our brains produce a host of feel-good hormones and other chemicals that promote relaxation and well-being.

 

How masturbation can prevent burnout

 

The brain…it’s where all the action’s at!

Masturbation involves more than just your nether regions. So, when you’re getting your Booster Rabbit buzz on, here’s what’s happening between your ears:

Hormone and chemical release

Sexual pleasure or orgasm causes the release of hormones and chemicals in the brain’s pleasure-reward system. 

These include:

Dopamine: 

Also sometimes known as the “happiness” hormone, dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved in motivation, movement, and reward-seeking.

Oxytocin: 

This hormone promotes a feeling of love, positive social interaction, development, and healing.

Serotonin:

An important neurotransmitter, serotonin, is responsible for promoting feelings of well-being and happiness. There is also a relationship between increased serotonin levels and improved mood.

Endorphins:

These are “feel-good” chemicals that relieve pain more effectively than morphine. They are in charge of the pleasant rush or high associated with exercise.

Prolactin:

Prolactin is a hormone that stimulates physiological responses such as reproduction, stress management, and emotional modulation.

Endocannabinoids:

These neurotransmitters are important for rewarding activities, including exercise, social engagement, and eating. They also aid in regulating pain, inflammation, metabolism, cardiovascular function, learning and memory, anxiety, depression, and addiction.

Norepinephrine or noradrenaline: 

This stimulating neurotransmitter promotes and controls dopamine transmission, which is associated with happiness levels.

Adrenaline: 

Adrenaline reduces stress by regulating heart rate, blood vessel and airway diameters, and aspects of metabolism.

 

Discover your Inner Zen with Mindful Masturbation
Good Read: Discover your Inner Zen with Mindful Masturbation

Wash stress away with waves of pleasure

The release of hormones can result in the following health benefits:

 

Reduced stress and anxiety

The release of oxytocin appears to reduce stress hormones like cortisol while encouraging relaxation. Prolactin also assists with the regulation of stress responses.

All of that delightful oxytocin also contributes to our overall well-being. In addition to being a superb pain reliever, research suggests that this lovely little hormone also helps reduce anxiety. (Now that’s something we could all do with right now!)

FYI…you don’t even have to orgasm to experience these benefits. Your brain naturally releases the chemical serotonin during foreplay and sexual excitement, which helps to boost sexual satisfaction and regulate mood. Self-love provides the perfect combination of brain-balancing benefits.

Sleep better

We all know the benefits of getting the right amount of quality sleep.

Masturbation triggers the release of neurotransmitters and hormones that assist in lowering tension and blood pressure while also boosting relaxation, which may make falling asleep easier.

A 2019 research of 778 people discovered that people are likely to sleep better post-orgasm. Many respondents reported that masturbating helped them fall asleep faster and sleep better.

Pain relief

Endorphins are painkillers produced by the body. Endocannabinoids are also known to aid in the regulation of pain and inflammation. These natural pain relievers can also ease menstrual cramps.

According to a 2013 study, sexual activity can provide partial or total relief from migraines and certain cluster headaches.

Immune system boosting

Masturbation increases prolactin and endocannabinoids, which assist with immune system regulation. It also increases stress-reducing chemicals and neurotransmitters.

Masturbation may boost hormone levels related to a good mood, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins.

Increase your self-esteem

Masturbation might cause an increase in adrenaline levels. According to researchers, higher amounts of salivary and urine adrenaline are associated with higher degrees of personal growth or a feeling of life purpose. Learning to please oneself may be powerful and enhance one’s body image.

Neuroprotection

Prolactin has a neuroprotective effect, which reduces brain damage in reaction to stress. Dopamine appears to contribute to healthy cognition as well. Sexual activity boosted recollection and number sequencing in older males and in older females aged 50-89, according to a 2016 study.

Reduced blood pressure

Stress can raise blood pressure. Oxytocin and endocannabinoids can also aid in blood pressure reduction.

 

Self-love & good vibes are key to a healthier you

Being under constant stress might lead to burnout. In addition to the traditional therapeutic strategy (which includes eating a balanced diet, frequent exercise, and getting a good night’s sleep), masturbation is a fantastic tool that may avoid this stressed condition.

Avoid burnout by including self-care in your everyday practice. Whether you’re working long hours, caring for small children, or even writing exams…be kind to your mind, body, and soul! 

Make time to listen to your body and give yourself the gift of self-love and divine pleasure.

Spilling the tea on wet dreams: Everything YOU need to know!

If there’s one thing that the Netflix hit series Sex Education taught us, it’s that for everything we know and have been taught about sexuality, we still don’t know nearly enough about the vagina. 

Think of it this way: until very recently, the very existence of the clitoris was completely ignored!

So, as a teen waking up in the middle of a wet patch, no one would blame you for thinking that you had some sort of incontinence issue. Of course, if you happened to have a penis, there’s a very high chance that you’d know all too well that you had a nocturnal emission…because that’s just what happens, right?!

It’s hardly fair that those with penises are generally taught about the normality of wet dreams, while the same can’t be said for those with vaginas. As a result, many women just assume that we don’t have them.

But, what exactly is a “wet dream” and why do they occur? There’s a lot to know about wet dreams, some of which might surprise you… 

 

spilling the tea on wet dreams FAQ

Our Funn Wet Dream FAQ’s

What is a wet dream?

Simply defined, a wet dream occurs when you ejaculate or release vaginal fluids while sleeping. FYI, most individuals have them, and they are a totally normal component of sleep (but we’ll get into that a bit later!)

 

The term “wet dream” is, in itself, a bit of a misnomer because while a sex dream can result in some sleepy-time splooge, most occur without an apparent explanation.

 

Wet dreams occur during REM sleep when your breathing and heart rate rise, boosting blood flow throughout your body, including your genitals. Due to the increased blood flow, your genitals become hypersensitive to any stimulation.

 

You might wake up in the middle of a wet dream or sleep through it and only know you had one when you wake up with wet sheets.

 

You may not even remember your sex dream when you had your wet dream. Most of the time, your brain controls your dreams so that they focus on sexual symbols rather than scenes. 

 

Women, for example, may have dreams of phallic-shaped items, whereas men may have dreams of tunnels and subways.

Do you only have wet dreams during puberty?

Nope. Wet dreams are more common during adolescence because your body undergoes significant hormonal changes that affect your sexual maturity.

 

But adults, too, experience erotic dreams, especially if they are sexually active.

 

Aside from hormonal fluctuations, wet dreams can be your subconscious mind’s way of dealing with stress. Consequently, orgasms can be quite calming. Therefore, it’s no surprise that the body resorts to a sexual release when sleeping.

 

Can individuals with vaginas have wet dreams?

 

Absolutely! Although the abundance of research and literature out there may make you think that only teenage penis owners have wet dreams.

 

No surprises here…there is a severe paucity of studies on wet dreams among people with vaginas. Still, recent evidence indicates that wet dreams are not exclusive to those with penises. According to current research, most vagina owners experience a sleep orgasm before age 21.

 

Why do wet dreams happen?

Women typically experience wet dreams from dreaming of erotic material involving sexual acts or other arousing dream material. 

 

When whatever is going on in the dream is sufficiently erotic, a woman’s body may naturally respond by creating vaginal lubrication—and if she is sufficiently excited, an orgasm may also ensue.

 

Are wet dreams normal?

Totally! There is no need to be worried or concerned about wet dreams—even if they happen rather frequently—as long as the wet dreams feel good to the dreamer. And it’s completely normal not to have wet dreams and not recall having them.

 

Still, if your dreams ever become uncomfortable or traumatic—especially if there is a history of sexual abuse or a psychological issue—seek professional help as soon as possible.

 

Why are they most commonly associated with boys?

One primary reason is that when boys orgasm, they make semen, a tangible, visible liquid indicating they just orgasmed. But what about women? 

The issue of female orgasms was also somewhat taboo until fairly recently—especially in the case of adolescent females. Wet dreams are therefore more commonly associated with younger males.

 

Do all sex dreams culminate in orgasm?

Nope. Not every sex act ends in orgasm; not every wet dream does either. On the other hand, having an orgasm does not necessarily result in ejaculation or dampness.

Wet dreams can occur both with and without orgasm. You don’t need to orgasm to have some vaginal wetness.

Because of the genital hypersensitivity during REM sleep, even brushing your bedsheets against your body might be enough to set it off.

Sexy thoughts before bed, a lack of sexual activity and orgasm in general, and a greater level of sex hormones can also play a role.

 

Why do I experience sleep orgasms yet struggle to orgasm while awake?

First and foremost, it is not uncommon to have problems with orgasm. Everyone’s capacity to orgasm differs, and many individuals have difficulties climaxing.

This can be caused by several factors, many of which may not impact you as much when you’re sleeping, such as:

  • Chronic pain and other bodily ailments
  • Mental health issues
  • Previous sexual trauma
  • Problems in a romantic or sexual connection
  • Sex repression
  • Not being adequately aroused
  • Body image concerns and inhibitions

Your body and mind relax as you sleep, and your guard is down. Inhibitions related to your body and sex are less likely to impact your arousal. Furthermore, you may be aroused by things in your dream that you are unaware are turn-ons for you.

The good news is that if you can orgasm in your sleep and want to try having an orgasm while awake, your body is physically able. It might just be a question of exploring your fantasies and trying to discover what feels right for you. Experimenting with sex toys can help bring you closer to the Big O!

 

I’ve never experienced a wet dream before. Is this a common occurrence?

Not everyone will experience a wet dream. Some people have a few, while others have many.

Then there are some who, as teens, experience wet dreams but not as adults. Dreams are very intimate, one-of-a-kind experiences that are unique to each individual.

 

Can you make yourself have a wet dream?

Maybe. According to research, sleeping in the prone position (on your stomach) may result in sexual or erotic dreams.

It is unknown why this relationship occurs. However, if you want to put the hypothesis to test, lie on your stomach before going to sleep.

 

Can you avoid having wet dreams?

No, not at all. Sure, some dream specialists believe you can control your dreams.

How so? Some studies show that you may be able to influence your dreamland story. This is known as lucid dreaming, and some ways can help you achieve it.

Just remember that just because you use these techniques doesn’t imply you’ll be able to manage your dreams entirely. There is no way to ensure you will not have a wet dream.

 

In the words of Annie Lennox, sweet (wet) dreams are made of these…

Although not everyone will have a wet dream, there is nothing wrong with experiencing one.

Remember that sleep orgasms, like all orgasms, are profoundly personal. There is no right or wrong way to have one — or two, three, or four. 💦

How to Ask Your Partner For The Sex Life You Want

If you’ve been in a long-term sexually intimate relationship, you’ve likely had the experience of being in the mood…then realized that your partner, well, just isn’t🙁 While this can be hugely frustrating and can take a massive toll on your sex life, having mismatched libidos is more common in long-term relationships than you may think.

While we all know that effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship and fulfilling sex life—this is often easier said than done, particularly when it comes to bedroom-related matters! 

We all want to be open and able to express what we enjoy sexually, but sometimes things can get rather tricky when we factor in our partner’s feelings.

And even if we have an honest relationship, bringing up how we’d like to change up our sex lives is no easy feat. Often, we worry that our suggestions will be interpreted negatively by our partners. 

Of course, in an ideal world, we’d be able to communicate our needs to others without making them feel vulnerable or criticized, but that’s a tricky balance to strike with a subject as intimate as sex. 

But talking about sex doesn’t have to be daunting—as long as you use kind and respectful wording, there’s no reason why discussing your sex life with your partner should be a problem. 

If you both want an empowering, fulfilling sex life, it’s time to open up the conversation. Not sure how to broach the subject? 

Here’s how to be assertive about your sexuality and ask for what you want without offending your partner.

 

Less worrying & more talking

While it is crucial to be considerate when addressing sensitive topics with your partner, unequal sexual desire is a super common issue for couples. The most important thing to remember is that it can be discussed and resolved. 

There shouldn’t be any reason to be frightened or embarrassed to talk about sex with the person you’re having sex with!

Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the podcast Sex With Emily, agrees that it is imperative to express your wants and needs. “Relationships are full of compromises, and your sex life is no different,” she points out. “In fact, many couples aren’t on the same sex schedule, but there’s no reason you can’t let it be known that it’s important to you.”

Not addressing it will simply cause resentment to build, one of the most destructive factors to relationships. Who knows, your partner may reveal that they’ve been struggling with a problem that you were unaware of. The only way to find out is to bring it up in conversation!

 

Talk about the sex life you want

Try having the convo face-to-face

No matter how awkward it may seem, delivery is essential. What does that mean? For starters, bring the subject up when neither of you is in a rush, busy or stressed. The ideal time would be when you’re both relaxed and happy. There’s a time and place for everything…pick yours wisely!

 

Watch your tone

A big part of your partner’s reaction will depend on how you communicate with them. The best approach to telling your partner what you want in bed is to be straightforward and precise but also complimentary.

You may want to avoid doing it immediately after sex when they are likely to feel vulnerable. Consider bringing it up in a natural way instead of making a major statement that might make them feel threatened. Then, be kind but forthright.

 

Ease into it with the positives

Even if you don’t remember much of the advice in this article, remember this: TRY NOT to put your partner on the defensive. 

The best way to do this is to start on a positive note by sharing what you like about your sex life. In fact, recreating sexual memories may be just what the doctor prescribed to get your partner in the mood and make things much easier.

 

Speak for yourself

Again, we don’t want our partners to think we’re blaming them for anything, so try using “I” statements as an anti-defensive measure.

Rather than stating, ‘You never want to have sex’ or ‘Our sex life is stale’, explain why you both would benefit from having more sex or changing things up in the sack.

When your interests are aligned, you are more likely to achieve an outcome that you and your partner are fired up about, building a habit or routine based on this positive feedback loop.

Talk about the sex life you want

Find out what they need

Another clever strategy is to ask about what your partner wants or needs in bed that they’re not currently receiving. By making suggestions and asking questions, the conversation becomes interactive. 

And, if your spouse brings up something they’d want to try, your ideas will seem less like a lack of fulfillment and more like a shared desire to explore.

 

Make your desires clear

Since clarity is key when attempting to hash out relationship stuff, be as explicit as possible about the kind of sex you want to have (and how often!)

Remember that sex is such a significant element of our lives, and it’s important to feel fulfilled.  If it’s not a regular topic of conversation, bringing it up may help your partner feel comfortable sharing their concerns.

 

Meet them halfway

Morse urges sex-thirsting couples to act with the spirit of empathy and cooperation. “Tell them how much you love feeling close and intimate with them and how you could work together to make sure you’re both getting your needs met.”

Remember that at the end of the day, no partner “gets to win”. You can only both win or both lose.

 

You deserve a happy, fulfilling sex life

You have the potential to reinvent a sex life that is both physically and emotionally satisfying if you are willing to engage in honest, sincere dialogue. Exploring how you feel most connected to your partner is crucial in boosting sexual and relationship happiness.  

If the prospect of discussing sex openly with your partner causes you to blush, have no fear; it becomes easier with practice! Once you get used to it—sex-related talks will become way less stressful and more enjoyable for you and your partner.

 

How Can You Tell If You’ve Had An Orgasm?

Have you ever watched a sex scene in a movie and wondered if that’s what an orgasm should be like?  And then thought that perhaps you were doing it all wrong?

If so, you’re definitely not alone. Media portrayals of sex can often leave us feeling perplexed and questioning our own experiences—not only how we appear and sound but also whether we’re “doing it right” or even having an orgasm at all! 

So let’s be frank, pop culture doesn’t depict orgasms accurately, often leading us to believe that orgasms involve a large amount of shouting and dramatic shaking and occur instantly (without clitoral stimulation!)

Although some orgasms can look like this…it’s just a small sample! So, if what you see in movies isn’t entirely accurate, how can you tell if you’ve had an orgasm if your experience doesn’t match up?

It’s ironic that in a culture that frequently discusses the topic of orgasms, we rarely dive into the specifics of what happens in the body during one. 

In this article, we’ll explore the wonders of orgasm and how you can tell if you’ve had one—let’s get started!

 

What exactly is an orgasm?

An orgasm is described as changes in the body caused by the intense pleasure that increases pulse rate and blood pressure. Orgasms can also produce pelvic muscle spasms, which cause vaginal contractions and urethral contractions in penises.

Regardless of gender, an orgasm is generated by the same thing in everyone: stimulation. Sometimes it’s genital stimulation; other times, it may be breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.

One of the most desired aspects of orgasm is the release of feel-good hormones. After climax, dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body leaving you calm, tranquil, satisfied and attached to your lover.

Although we’re still discovering how the human body experiences pleasure and orgasm, we have learned a thing or two. For starters, only 18% of persons with vaginas can orgasm only through intercourse, according to a 2015 study. Furthermore, most people with vaginas require clitoral stimulation, either alone or together with penetration.

Even those experiencing orgasms during penetration have the clitoris to thank. (Most scientists will confirm that all orgasms involve the clitoris, regardless of where the stimulation occurs!)

It’s also worth noting that some folks simply cannot orgasm. (And, yes, this is also perfectly normal) But that doesn’t mean that you don’t benefit from sex! Several studies demonstrate that climax is not required to have a truly happy and fulfilling sex life. Instead, it should be thought of as ‘the icing on the cake’.

 

There are different kinds of orgasms

Many people are surprised to learn that orgasms actually happen in our brains, not our genitals. And even though our skin is the largest sexual organ, our brain is the most important.

While scientists are still debating whether different types of genital orgasms exist (think clitoral, A-spot, G-spot, etc.), they do know there are other ways to come that don’t entail touching anything below the belt:

  • Nipple play: When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is produced, causing the same uterine and vaginal contractions as orgasm. 

 

  • While fantasizing: Some people can “think” themselves into orgasm by imagining a stimulating situation and allowing their minds to wander.

 

  • While exercising: Also known as a “coregasm” some people can orgasm while practicing yoga or doing core workouts.

 

  • While sleeping: Because orgasms occur in our brains, which are super active at night, people of all genders can climax while sleeping. There’s no method to it, but it makes for a lovely night’s sleep when it happens.

 

  • A skin orgasm: Also referred to as “frisson,” skin orgasms are the tingles you feel when listening to a great song or watching an incredible scene. It can feel like goosebumps or a slight shiver down your arms.

Tell If You've Had An Orgasm

How you can tell if you’ve had an orgasm

An orgasm can seem like a sensual trance and generate a state of sexual euphoria that you might feel both physically and psychologically. Heightened sexual excitement and fulfillment are sensed and then followed by calm. 

Did you know that various bodily cues can alert you if you’re on your way? When you are aroused, your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes faster, your nipples are erect, and your genitals are engorged with blood. These sensations intensify as arousal rises until you climax.

Orgasms may make you feel calm, but they can also make you sleepy. According to one 2019 study, participants who experienced an orgasm before bedtime reported getting a better night’s sleep. Additional research is required to prove the link, but the authors of this study believe we can thank oxytocin.

 

How to have an orgasmic experience

If you aren’t climaxing, you could learn to do so by becoming more familiar with your body and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Experts all agree that solo play is an excellent place to start. By adjusting your touch and intensity, try out different masturbation techniques to see what feels good.

It also helps to concentrate on how you feel in the moment rather than solely thinking about obtaining an orgasm. Deep breathing is a terrific technique to let go of distracting ideas.

You’ll be able to communicate more effectively with your partner about what gets you off once you’ve mastered your own domain. If you want to climax through penetration, consider the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), which allows you to simultaneously compress the shaft of the penis (or toy) between your thighs, grind your clitoris against the pelvis bone, and experience the snug fit of penetration.

Tips for an even better orgasm

Tips for an even better orgasm

If you’re keen to experiment or just want to spice things up, don’t be hesitant to introduce toys into the mix. Experiment with rabbit vibrators, like the Booster Rabbit or Delola. Both of these vibes are guaranteed to get all the juices flowing.

It’s possible that combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation can increase the intensity of your orgasm. 

Finding toys that fit you and your body can be its own exciting type of foreplay, whether you do it alone or with a partner, so don’t be hesitant to incorporate them into the mix and go on a small shopping spree.

Regardless, it’s vital to understand that not everyone can experience orgasm (with or without a partner), and that’s OK!! 

Open communication with your partner and consulting a sex therapist can assist, but the fun of sex lies in the discovery, which often includes so much more than an orgasm! 

So, relax and enjoy yourself…and let the orgasmic magic find you✨

 

Keeping Your Vibe Alive: How to Store & Clean Your Sex Toys

Let’s be honest: you wouldn’t dream of reusing dirty towels without giving them a good wash and storing them in a clean area. Nor would you do the same with your underwear or makeup brushes. So, in that breath, the same should apply to your sex toys!

Sex, whether partnered or solo, is your time to unwind from the stresses of everyday life. However, if you want sex toys to be a part of that clear-your-mind time (and if you wish for those sex toys to last), you’ll need to ensure that you clean your sex toys correctly and store them properly. 

And that’s precisely where we come in! Granted, sex toy maintenance may not always be top of mind or even the most exciting thing to do…but it is essential, and your V (and A) will be grateful! 

To keep things simple, we’ve placed everything you need to know in one article to help keep your sex toys in the best possible condition.

Sex toy storage 101

It may not seem like it, but where you keep your sex toys is critical to their longevity. “I don’t think people realize how delicate toys can be,” says Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast. “Leaving a toy in places where the temperature is too hot or stuffy can cause the toys to break down depending on the quality and materials.” 

That being said, it’s best to keep your toys in a satin or cotton bag. Any dust or hair floating around will likely become stuck on the bag rather than latching onto your toy. 

What about simply storing your toy in the packaging it came in? Well, that also works; just make sure you clean your toy before storing it. 

Bacteria can hide in cardboard and some plastics, so it could get nasty if you don’t clean your sex toy before storing it.

how to store your sex toy

Sex Toy Closet from Heyepiphora.com

Knowing what type of lube you’re using is important

We’re big fans of lube (and you should be, too…it just makes the experience so much better!)

Ensure that you’re using the right kind of lubricant with your toy. Silicone toys and silicone lubricants DO NOT  mix. Why? Because the component keeping the silicone lube liquid will attempt to liquefy the toy. 

Even if this doesn’t turn into a disastrous scientific experiment, it may ruin your toy. 

As a general rule, avoid mixing lubes and toys of the same material. For example, oil-based lube shouldn’t be used with latex or petroleum-based rubbers. Water-based lubricants are generally your best bet and are safe for most toys.

Cleaning your sex toys

After each usage, you should clean your sex toys so that it is as clean as possible, regardless of their material.

While porous toys are more prone to harbor microbes than non-porous toys, it’s good to clean any toy you’ve used immediately after usage. We know, it’s kind of a buzzkill. But, making this a habit will ensure that your toys are as hygienic as possible.

The vagina is home to a myriad of bacteria and fungi that keep it healthy. When you use a sex toy, some of these germs will most likely attach themselves to the toy. Although this typically isn’t really a cause for concern, it sometimes can be. 

For example, assume you have a sexually transmitted or vaginal infection and decide to masturbate with a toy. Some microorganisms that cause the infection can remain on the toy’s surface (if it’s non-porous) or go into the tiny pores (if it’s porous) and stay there. 

If you don’t clean the toy thoroughly before using it with a partner, you could pass the infection onto them. It’s even possible to reintroduce the pathogen after clearing the infection from your body.

It’s also necessary to note that the risk of infection isn’t limited only to the vagina. The gastrointestinal tract is home to plenty of microorganisms that can be transmitted to an anal toy. If these bacteria get into your (or your partner’s) urinary tract, it can lead to infection (UTI).

FYI: This is not to say that you will acquire an infection every time you don’t clean your sex toy well, but it’s important to recognize that it can happen depending on the sort of bacteria or virus and the environment in which you’re using the toy.

You may want to wash your toy before using it too

Even if you clean your toy carefully every time you use it, you should think about cleaning it before you use it. Since you last used it, it may have come into touch with dirt, lint, dust, or other items. 

You can skip this step if you like; washing toys after each use is required, although cleaning them prior is recommended.

Here’s how to properly clean your sex toys before and after usage

Cleaning your sex toys correctly is equally as vital as cleaning them on a regular basis. You risk degrading a toy’s material, altering its shape, or damaging any battery-operated functionalities it may have if you don’t.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s move on to getting the job done.

Follow these sex toy cleaning guidelines:

For toys made of latex or elastomer:

These porous materials are more temperature-sensitive than non-porous toys, which means they may distort if subjected to excessive heat. 

If your toy vibrates, use a warm, moist, soapy cloth to clean it. If the toy does not vibrate (or vibrates but is waterproof), rinse it with warm water and wipe it with a soapy cloth.

For toys made of ABS plastic:

You can wipe it with a moist cloth and light soap, just like an elastomer or latex toy, or wash it with water and mild soap if it doesn’t vibrate. (Or if it vibrates but is also watertight.)

Cleaning your sex toys

For toys made of soda-lime glass:

This type of glass might be temperature sensitive (which is part of why it can be so much fun during sex play). Wash a soda-lime glass toy in the same manner as a latex or elastomer toy.

For toys made of silicone, metal, or borosilicate glass:

Like the ones mentioned before, these toys may be cleaned with a sex toy cleaner specifically formulated to clean and sanitize adult toy products or with mild soap and warm water, or with a moist, soapy washcloth.

If your borosilicate glass, silicone, or stainless-steel toys don’t vibrate, you can boil them for 3 to 4 minutes to clean them (not gold toys, because many are gold-plated and may include other materials). Aside from leaving soap residue, the motors of these toys can be damaged.

Play safe. Have funn. Own your pleasure!

If you have any specific questions or worries regarding the cleaning, storage, or maintenance of your Femme Funn toy, contact us

Remember that caring for your toys properly will allow you to get the most out of them, and spending more time with your sex toys means more funn. Enjoy!

9 Sex Resolutions Every Woman Should Make for a Steamier 2022

Those of us who decide to set New Year’s resolutions often tend to focus on improving our lives by cutting down on indulgences—eating fewer chocolates, reducing our alcohol intake, and spending less time in our pj’s binge-watching Netflix. 

While such goals are admirable, we want to encourage women to do more this year—especially when it comes to sexual pleasure. 

Research shows that the “orgasm gap” between men and women is real. According to a study published in 2018,  while 95% of heterosexual males orgasm while sexually intimate, just 65% of heterosexual women do. 

These numbers are really dismal, especially considering that orgasms provide a remarkable range of health benefits, from reduced stress to improved sleep.

There’s freedom in pleasure, and we believe that by focusing on sexual growth, you can make the orgasm gap a thing of the past and vastly improve the connection you have with your spouse, your body and your libido.

Ready to begin? 

Here are ten funn resolutions for a sexier (and steamier) 2022.

1. Have more sex

There are several benefits to having more sex. Higher levels of sexual activity are associated with favorable effects such as decreased blood pressure, reduced stress, more intimacy, and even a lower divorce rate in couples.

Sex is associated with a higher quality of life, having several emotional, psychological, and physical advantages.

Among these benefits are the following:

  • Improved self-esteem
  • Higher levels of happiness.
  • Stress reduction
  • Better sleep quality
  • Improved physical fitness.
  • Improved brain function
  • Improved immune function
  • Reduced pain levels
  • Weight loss may be aided.
  • Positive cardiac effects

But what does having more sex actually mean (since this could vary from one person to the next)? Most couples have sex once a week on average (the frequency varies with age). 

According to research, adults in their 20s have sex approximately 80 times each year, whereas those in their 60s have sex approximately 20 times per year. Using this as a benchmark, aim to have sex at least once a week, and any extra is a bonus!

2. Make time for solo pleasure

Masturbation may feel self-indulgent, and that’s because it is—in the greatest possible way! Nonetheless, according to a nationwide poll conducted by Indiana University, one in every five women has never masturbated, with just 40.8% having masturbated in the previous month. 

Consider dedicating more time to solo sexual enjoyment in the next year. The more you understand your body and recognize what feels good and what doesn’t, the more you can bring into partner sex. 

And if you’re not having sex with a partner, then you’ll bring yourself loads more pleasure.

3. Focus on foreplay

Sex Resolutions Focus on foreplay

For the vast majority of women, research has shown that intercourse alone is unlikely to elicit orgasm—but a little foreplay can go a long way. Most women require some time to transition from their day to their sexy time. That is exactly what foreplay does.

Foreplay might begin many hours before actually getting it on. Start by having a lengthier, lingering hug as you say your goodbyes in the morning. During the day, send flirty texts, and during your commute, read or listen to erotic fiction. 

Make time for kissing, touching, and massaging during in-the-moment foreplay. This enables the body to truly experience a higher level of pleasure, followed by satisfaction.

Sex Resolutions Eat more healthily

Everyone’s sex drive is different, and a low sex drive can be caused by various factors such as hormonal changes, fatigue, stress, and alcohol. Relationship issues or constant exhaustion can also be related to a lack of libido alongside an underlying medical problem. 

However, were you aware that what you eat could significantly impact how strong or weak your sex drive is? 

Boost your libido by eating more of the following:

Vitamin A: This vitamin is present in eggs, milk, meat, orange or yellow fruits, and vegetables and is required to produce sex hormones.

Magnesium: A sufficient amount of magnesium will not only help you have a better night’s sleep but can boost a waning sex drive. 

Magnesium can be found in nuts, seeds, eggs, whole grains, brown rice, and dark green leafy vegetables.

Vitamin C: Although vitamin C is more commonly associated with treating common colds, it can also impact your sex life. Citrus fruits and vegetables are high in vitamin C.

Selenium: Brazil nuts are a rich source of selenium: a single serving every day will result in a noticeable increase in your libido. Broccoli, cabbage, mushrooms, onions, whole grains, and shellfish contain it.

Zinc: Found in pulses, whole grains, eggs, seafood, red meat, and cheese, zinc is an essential element for general health. Scientists think that zinc deficiency may have a role in sterility or infertility.

B vitamins: Brown rice, shellfish, green leafy vegetables, meat, and wholegrain bread are high in B vitamins. Vitamin B12 deficiency may lead to a lack of pleasure during climax.

Iron: Iron is essential for sustaining your level of sexual arousal. It’s found in red meat, egg yolk, green vegetables, and dried fruits.

Vitamin E: Vitamin E is important for stamina and energy, but it is also helpful for blood circulation. It can be found in eggs, oily fish, and dairy products. 

It is also known as a “sex vitamin” since it boosts blood flow and oxygen to the genitalia.

5. Experiment with a new position or move

 

Sex Resolutions Experiment with a new position or move

Changing up your sexual routine might be daunting if you aren’t particularly sexually adventurous, yet a small amount of risk can yield great rewards.  

Simply attempting something new with your spouse might help you feel closer to them. It may be a slight tweak to a position you already know and enjoy, or it could be a totally new one. It could be as big or as small, as daring or as humdrum as you and your spouse prefer.

6. Explore a new erogenous zone

Sex Resolutions Explore a new erogenous zone

Women’s bodies are rich with erogenous zones, some of which you may only uncover if you look for them! (Did you know the forearm is one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body?) Have a steamy date night in. 

Take the time to explore your partner’s body from head to toe. Orgasm is not the goal here. The idea is to respond to the question, What else feels good? What else turns me on?

7. Explore different places to have sex

Let’s face it: living in the midst of a pandemic and dealing with the monotony of quarantine took a toll on most people’s lives, particularly our sexual live. We woke up and washed our hands. We had a Zoom meeting and then washed our hands. 

We change our sweatpants to night sweats, wash our hands, and then fall asleep in front of Netflix. It wasn’t exactly a regimen that encouraged creativity! 

But that doesn’t imply we’re all destined to a sexless existence. Variety is the spice that keeps a healthy sex life hot when done responsibly. Experiment with sex a whole lot more in 2022. Instead of restricting yourself to your bedroom, consider having sex in the following locations:

  •  In your car
  •  Your backyard
  •  On the Beach
  •  In the Kitchen
  •  The bathroom (yep, sex in the shower is fantastic!)
  •  On your living room floor
  •  Your balcony
  •  In nature (think nature trail, forest etc.)

At times, all it takes is a change of scenery to spice up your love life. Try a few of these places out–see what floats your boat, and don’t be afraid to try new things throughout your home.

Sex Resolutions Explore different places to have sex

Let’s face it: living in the midst of a pandemic and dealing with the monotony of quarantine took a toll on most people’s lives, particularly our sexual live. We woke up and washed our hands. We had a Zoom meeting and then washed our hands. 

We change our sweatpants to night sweats, wash our hands, and then fall asleep in front of Netflix. It wasn’t exactly a regimen that encouraged creativity! 

But that doesn’t imply we’re all destined to a sexless existence. Variety is the spice that keeps a healthy sex life hot when done responsibly. Experiment with sex a whole lot more in 2022. Instead of restricting yourself to your bedroom, consider having sex in the following locations:

  •  In your car
  •  Your backyard
  •  On the Beach
  •  In the Kitchen
  •  The bathroom (yep, sex in the shower is fantastic!)
  •  On your living room floor
  •  Your balcony
  •  In nature (think nature trail, forest etc.)

At times, all it takes is a change of scenery to spice up your love life. Try a few of these places out–see what floats your boat, and don’t be afraid to try new things throughout your home.

8. Keeping up with your Kegels

sex resolutions Keeping up with your Kegels

You are probably well aware of the fact that Kegel exercises can make a difference to your sex life. 

Start doing them regularly and you may experience a noticeable difference in bed. (Read this article if you’re unsure what the Kegel deal is all about.)

9. Indulge yourself with new sex toys

Sex Resolutions Indulge yourself with new sex toys

 

Chances are that if you’re reading this, you’re either already a FemmeFunn client (and completely sold when it comes to the magic that sex toys can add to your sexual repertoire), or you’re curious about exploring your sexuality and bringing sexy back into your love life. 

Either way, consider spicing up your sex life by spoiling yourself (and perhaps your SO) with a new toy (or sex toys) for 2022. We guarantee that your year will definitely start with a bang.

Now is the perfect opportunity to refocus on self-care so that you may start the year feeling fantastic and keep showing up as your best self throughout the year. 

Enjoying a healthy sex life is one of life’s great pleasures; sexually empowering you and providing you with the self-confidence to face the world. Give your sex life a boost to make this year one of the greatest you’ve ever had! 

2022 will be YOUR year… and with FemmeFunn in your corner, you can be sure that this year will be sublime.

Should You Pick a Sex Toy Based on Your Love Language?

We all know that honest, open communication forms the cornerstone of healthy relationships. While this is sometimes easier said than done, some smart strategies can help your communication along if it’s not up to scratch! 

All that’s required is an understanding of the five ‘love languages‘ (not to be confused with the romance languages – Oggi non-impariamo l’italiano!)

If you’ve never heard of love languages, don’t worry, neither did we until a short while ago.  The idea was initially popularized by relationship expert Dr Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Lasting Love. 

Published almost 30 years ago, this book serves as a guide for couples to discover, understand, and then talk using their partner’s ‘love languages’, considered the key to a happy and successful relationship.

Many relationship counselors and therapists employ the five love languages in their work with couples. Although they don’t always use that phrase exactly, it’s a framework through which they assist couples to understand one another more intimately – and, ideally, overcome conflict in relationships.

For those unfamiliar with the concept of love languages, Chapman theorizes that there are five basic ways humans display love in relationships, which can be summed up in a few essential actions:

  • Words of Affirmation: Using affirmative phrases that make someone feel loved and secure. “I adore how you always make me laugh,” “I’m proud of you,” and “I’m the happiest when you’re around” are just a few examples.
  • Acts of Service: Devoting your time to things that you know your partner would appreciate, such as filling up their gas tank, preparing a meal for them, and being ready to step in when they want assistance.
  • Gifts: This isn’t necessarily about materialism but rather about expressions of affection. The best presents are those that are the result of thoughtfulness and effort. 
  • Quality Time: Time is precious, and it’s best spent with your partner’s complete, undivided attention, whether over coffee or watching a movie together.
  • Physical Touch: Hugs, kisses, caresses, and other intimate touches that express love, capitalizing on human contact.

Technically, we “speak” all five love languages, but your dominant love language is the one that resonates the most strongly with you.

Now, let’s get to the exciting bit. Once you’ve familiarized yourself with this concept, continue reading to see how your love language relates to your sex life. 

In the spirit of all things funn, we’ve compiled a list matching each of the classic love languages with the sex toy that best exemplifies each gesture.

Words of Affirmation

While considered the most popular of the love languages, “words of affirmation” generally require the most tact. Here, it’s more about the actual words than just going through the motions. 

Verbalizing your thoughts and communicating what you love about your partner’s body and how much they turn you on is a surefire way to engage this particular love language. This can also be a gateway to other…ahem…activities. 

In that vein, we suggest giving CORA a try. Feel the rhythm as CORA thumps from within, your heart beating faster with each throbbing thrust of delight. 

Whatever gets you off, this toy is sure to deliver! After delivering sensational performance in ten thumping and vibrating modes, you won’t just be affirming your ecstasy  – you’ll be raving about your out-of-this-world experience for days afterward.

Cora-Thumping-Rabbit-Vibrator-Purple-Box

Get your CORA Here

Quality Time

To be clear, “quality time” does not refer to the hours you and your partner spend looking at your phones on opposite ends of the couch. Quality is the keyword here. Instead of allowing your thoughts to wander during sex to frivolities such as walking the dog or wanting to go grocery shopping, focus on being present. 

People can typically tell when their partner’s mind is elsewhere during sex, so forget about everything else and be present in the moment. Make eye contact with your partner, and take things slowly. Within that context, we offer a vibrator dedicated to ensuring that all of your time together is wonderfully enjoyable.

The Ultra Wand is an incredibly versatile and strong vibrator that can be turned up to be super powerful if that’s what revs your engine!  The soft premium silicone, flexible head, and comfy handle will feel fabulous in your hand. Enjoy the targeted sensations from 10 vibration modes, which may be intensified by the boost mode at any time. 

Get your ULTRA WAND Here

This is a perfect sex toy for couples to share – since you can take turns using the wand to stimulate your clitoris and other parts of your vulva, and your partner can use it on you or turn it on themselves. 

It’s robust, waterproof, tons of fun, and allows you both to spend quality time discovering all of your sweet spots.

Acts of service

Though sex should ideally be reciprocal, you should occasionally devote yourself to fulfilling all of your partner’s sexual cravings. This might involve oral sex if that’s what they’re into, or just prioritizing their pleasure over yours (of course, only do what you’re comfortable with!)

If acts of service are what make you tick, you’re likely interested in a toy that will surprise and thrill your lover at every turn. Variety is often touted as the spice of life, and with 20 various vibration settings, our Funn beads are sure to please. 

Made from body-safe silicone, these anal beads are super flexible and are perfect for first-time anal play since they’re equipped with a safety handle and are easy to remove. 

The sensation of slowly pulling out a string of 4 graduated anal beads, combined with some deeply satisfying oral, is sure to make for an almighty release that’ll be hard to forget.

Funn-Beads-Vibrating-Anal-Beads-Box

Get your FUNN BEADS Here

Physical touch

Okay, while this is pretty obvious, don’t think physical touch is purely a sex thing. It’s about all forms of contact (think a hug or a foot rub on a bad day, a hand on the knee when they least 

expect it, a back massage). That said, the “physical touch” lover typically does feel that sex is among the most tried-and-true forms of intimacy. 

It also goes without saying that the way you touch your partner can make a huge difference during sex. This lover typically savors foreplay, and when it comes to sex toys, they use them like a sexual Jedi. 

So, if touch is your superpower, why not transform your finger into the ultimate pleasure instrument? 

By harmoniously blending human interaction and electrifying vibrations, Dioni bridges the gap between technology and touch. Waterproof and wireless, this ergonomically shaped toy adds fun to sex and conveniently fits over your finger to provide targeted stimulation.

Dioni-Finger-Vibrator-Large-Box

Get your DIONI Here

Gift-giving

It’s hard to imagine being the type of person who dislikes gifts. However, for people who speak this love language, mementos or tokens are more important than gifts adorned with a beautiful ribbon. 

The best part about this love language is that it’s mutually beneficial (think gifts that spice things up in the bedroom — seductive underwear, vibrators and blindfolds, or anything else that you think will get their pulse racing!)

When it comes to gift-giving, the Pirouette never disappoints! This vibe is a perfectly packaged present featuring 8 powerful rabbit vibration modes and 360º rotation technology. It has two motors targeting vibrations to your clit through the rabbit ears and G-spot via the internal vibrating shaft. 

This means that there are literally a whopping 36 different vibration combinations! Truly a gift that keeps giving.

Pirouette-Rotating-Rabbit-Vibrator-Turquoise-Box

Get your PIROUETTE Here

Feeling inspired for your next sexcapade? 

While the five love languages may seem a bit out there to some of us, the ultimate message is to be present with your spouse and express what feels best for you. 

You’ll rarely be dismayed if you follow that basic formula. Knowing and understanding your partner’s love language is the closest thing to seeing into their mind. 

It’s a road map for determining how they prefer to offer and receive affection, helping you to better understand them on a profound level. 

So, these holidays, rather than rushing to the closest store to buy a pre-made card or a random, last-minute gift, surprise them with something they love. You’ll definitely receive a bang (or 2, 6) for your buck!

Get your LOVE LANGUAGE Sex Toy Here

 

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