Hot sexting is like foreplay…flirty hints of what’s to come.
According to research, sexting has a unique upside: Sending naughty texts to your partner is a fun yet sexy way of connecting on a deeper level. BUT, it can also build your confidence, strengthen your bond, and allow you to explore new ways to express yourself. That’s a win-win all around!
Whether you’re just hooked up or have been a couple for a long time, a little sext here and there is a fun way to keep things exciting and fresh.
Although sexting seems simple enough, it is quite a broad concept—so what exactly does the term encompass? Does sexting mean dick pics? A slew of peach and eggplant emojis?
We’re happy to confirm that “sexting” includes pretty much all of the above and can be defined as sending any sexual material via cell phone, email, or whatever tickles your fancy.
This means emojis, lingerie photos, and super descriptive paragraphs about what you’d like to do to your partner when they get home after a long day all fall under the sexting category.
If like many others, you’ve ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing, you may have thrown out the idea with your old flip phone. But truth be told, there’s no need to try to think up some X-rated smut or presume that you need to have the linguistic prowess of Christian Grey to sext.
Instead, use language you’re comfortable with to flirt and tease your partner. And if you’re struggling with a prompt, draw from the good ol’ memory bank recollecting sexy past memories or where you like to be touched, and take it from there.
Now before we get into what you should be sending your partner, there are a few important things you should remember before you press send.
The Seven Sexy Sexting Rules
Implement these tips (or rules) and you’ll definitely up your sexting A-game
Get creative and paint a picture
Of the entire process, getting started may be the most daunting part. So, take your time and draw inspiration from your surroundings, describing what you’re wearing, doing, or what you’d like to do later.
And, if where you are or what you’re doing isn’t terribly exciting—exaggerate a little! So instead of reading a book in your pajamas, you could be “nude in bed” 😉 Your partner will be none the wiser, and you’ll be able to ease into dirty talk after that.
Read or listen to something steamy
Visual porn can be a bit intense for newbies, so try the written or audio stuff instead. Erotica is jam-packed with sexy content that you can take to bed with you.
Being exposed to erotic material can often be beneficial in broadening our sexual dialogue. Try sites such as Literotica and Bellesa.
Be honest and share your deepest desires
Sexting may be a terrific way for you and your partner to discover more about one other’s sexual preferences and potential kinks since it gives you the feeling of safety behind a screen.
Don’t be scared to ask. “What would you do if you could do everything you wanted with me?” for example. Likewise, don’t hold back from expressing your own preferences so that your partner can learn more about you, even if they aren’t asking great questions.
Besides checking with your partner to see whether this is something they want to do, you’ll also need to define your boundaries. So, maybe pics are cool, but descriptive texts about group sex aren’t.
And, if the dialogue becomes uncomfortable at any point, a well-established safe word (such as the one you use in the bedroom) might come in handy here as well. You may even create a list of off-limit terms.
Degradation and name-calling can be a turn-on, but this isn’t true for everyone, so discuss it first. Conversely, learn their lust language.
Does your partner love it when you refer to them as “baby girl”? Or do they prefer to be referred to as a slut? Which term for their genitals makes them feel the sexiest?
These are things to consider before sexting someone new (and it’s never a bad idea to discuss this with your present spouse). We all have preferences, and our sexual experiences are all unique.
Express your enthusiasm and delight
Sexting may make individuals feel uneasy or vulnerable, especially if there are photos involved, so be sure to offer a lot of positive reinforcement to help people feel good about what they’re saying and sharing.
Since your partner can’t read your body language or hear your voice, go the extra mile by adding emojis, exclamation points, steamy adjectives, and adverbs. (The heart and kiss emojis are a fantastic place to start, as are the heart-eye and drooling emojis for conveying how turned on you are by their words or pics!)
Maintain your privacy
If you’re sharing photos or videos, be sure your sexting partner is someone you can completely trust. (As tempting as it may be, remember that just because someone is hot or you’re having sex with them doesn’t mean you can trust them with your nudes!)
It’s totally fine not to want or be swayed into sharing intimate material with someone you’re sleeping with or dating. Once again, it comes back to boundaries and respect. On that note, you should also be aware of sexting laws in your state and country.
If you’re keen on sending nudes, avoid sending explicit imagery that includes your face as a general rule. Take snaps from your mouth down so your partner may see your beautiful lips without the risk of being identified.
Also, it’s worth noting that if you’re going to be storing explicit sorta stuff on your phone, try using a separate app so that your nudes don’t get accidentally sent or seen. Private Photo Vault or Secret Calculator are good options.
Practice makes perfect
As with most things in life, the more often you do something, the better you get at it. Don’t worry if you feel awkward or foolish at first. You’ll get the hang of it. Confidence (and positive reinforcement from your partner) are essential.
Remember that your sexting pal isn’t expecting award-winning prose. Knowing who’s behind the phone screen plays a massive part in stirring those lustful longings.
Let’s get sexting: Helpful suggestions to get you going
Whether you’re a rookie sexter or a sexting superstar looking to surprise a special someone with some new skills, the following suggestions may help you nail your digital dirty talk! If you’re looking for a bit of inspo, feel free to duplicate any of the examples we’ve compiled here. Trust us, they’ll definitely get the sext juices flowing.
When you want to ask for consent.
Hi! So, you’ve been on my mind lately, and I’m keen to share some NSFW thoughts. Wanna play?
When you’re feeling a bit nostalgic
Remember that time that you made me come so much that we had to put my mattress out in the sun to dry. Mmm, yep…I just can’t get that out of my head!
When you want to test the waters
I’m going to be all over you the next time I see you.
When you’re keen to try out your new sex toy
Hey babe, so I just got a new vibe. I cannot wait for you to use it on me!
When you wanna get into their head(s)
You tell me your fave fantasy, and I’ll tell you mine 😉
When you’re feeling kinky
I want you to blindfold me and kiss me all over… from one pair of lips to another. x
When you’re feeling creative
Tell me what you’d do to me if…
we were together in a room with just
whipped cream, handcuffs, one candle,
and no mattress in sight?
When all you want is the foreplay
Let’s take this as far as we can, slowly. Then let ourselves orgasm.
When you feel like stepping out of your comfort zone
Okay. So, I think it may just be my turn to tell you what you need to do!
When you’re in the mood to tease
If only you could see what I’m wearing right now. It’s silky and…please excuse the typos—I’m typing with one hand.
When you’re feeling hot (as in sexy AF)
I’m sending you a photo that’s gonna leave a lot to the imagination.
When you feel complimentary
What can I say? You’re the sex god I’ve needed all my life <3
When you feel like taking charge
I want you to lie back and let me take care of you tonight.
When you want to explore a fantasy
So, I read a fascinating Femme Funn article about anal today…and it got me thinking…
Care for me to elaborate?
When you need to keep the conversation going
I’m not sure where you went, but if you haven’t come yet, let’s work on that together!
When you feel like sending pics 😉
Wanna see more? Tell me the first thing you’d do if you were here with me…
When you’ve woken up from a really raunchy dream
I had a dream about you last night, and I’m getting wetter just thinking about it.
When you’re missing them
Missing you…and the feeling of you inside of me.
Make sexting work for you
If you’re unsure about dipping your toe in unchartered waters, these sext samples should help you ease into the swing of things. If you are still feeling unsure, feel free to change up the lingo so that it feels more natural for you.
Lastly, you may want to start by adjusting the level of explicitness. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be X-rated to be seductive…sometimes, being evasive is actually the biggest turn-on! Basically, what we’re saying is just do what works best and is most comfortable for you.
Now, go forth and sext up a sexual storm!