You’ve heard of limiting screen time, but should that apply to “me time," too? Absolutely! Porn can be a great way to get aroused quickly, or to discover new fantasies, but sometimes it’s worth unplugging and letting your mind wander.
Wondering how to masturbate without porn? It might feel a little tricky at first if you’ve got your usual routine down. Porn can be an arousal "turbo" button. But when you unplug, you have a chance to rediscover your built-in turn-ons. You may be surprised how quickly you adapt to new forms of arousal.
Is it healthy to masturbate without porn?
Short answer: yes! That doesn’t mean it’s unhealthy to masturbate with porn, just that it’s often a good idea to change up routines before getting stuck in a rut.
Not convinced? Here are a few more benefits of masturbating without porn:
You learn to focus on the actual feelings and physical sensations, which can make things feel more intense.
We have enough distractions in day-to-day life. When exploring masturbation, it can be a nice change to simply be in the moment.
“Masturbating without porn is an invitation to slow down," says Lilly Sparks, founder and CEO of afterglow. "When we remove external visuals, we start paying attention to our internal ones — our fantasies, our sensations, our breath," she continues. "It can deepen your relationship with your body, help you discover new turn-ons, and make partnered sex more connected too. It's about getting out of your routine, and novelty is a key to desire.”
You get to be the director of your own fantasy, tapping into memories, desires, and scenarios that are 100% yours.
If you’re not sure where to start when fantasizing, memories can be a treasure trove of turn-on material. Think about the hottest kiss you’ve ever had, or the most mind-blowing orgasm.
Often our “firsts” can be a source of great arousal, so try to think about when different activities or forms of touch were brand new, and how exciting that was.
You discover what you really like — what kind of touch, pressure, and rhythm gets you there.
We don’t just get into routines with other people, we get into them with ourselves! From what to make for a quick dinner, to how to have a quick orgasm. Too much of our day happens on autopilot.
Bodies change over time, so the kind of touch you’ve gotten used to — and have stuck with — for months or years, might be getting kind of stale. Try starting from scratch to figure out what your body wants to experience today.
How to Masturbate Without Porn
Setting the mood isn’t just for partnered play! It’s important to take the time to woo yourself. If you have no idea where to start, think about what you might do to romance a partner.
“If you are taking away the visual cues that you are used to, it is time to get creative with your other primary senses to see what can illicit arousal," Sara Silverstein, Somatic Sexologist, Yoni Mapping Facilitator, and International Breathwork Guide at Inner Light Wellbeing LLC, tells FemmeFunn. "It may be a super sultry playlist or an erotic audiobook that entices your senses," she adds. "Perhaps you put on an outfit that you feel really sexy in and then you lie on a super fuzzy blanket (or silk) which gives your body a pleasurable sensation."
Just like with another person, seduction begins with non-genital touch. Feel the sensation of your hands on your thighs, stomach, and chest. If it feels unusual to touch yourself this way, consider hopping in the shower or bath — somewhere this kind of whole-body touch may feel more natural.
Pay attention to your breathing. Deep, slow breaths can make a huge difference in staying present and building arousal.
“Think of it like a moving meditation," says Sparks. "Close your eyes and bring all your attention to the feeling of your skin, your breath, the way your muscles respond to touch," she continues. "It's OK to have weird moments where things don't feel good. Try to let go of expectations and give yourself plenty of time. Touch slowly. Vary pressure. Be present. Your body will tell you what feels good — you just have to listen."
Your body knows what to do; give it a chance to tell you.
Tips and (Toy) Tricks for Everyone
Adding toys to the mix can be a great way to spice up your masturbation routine, without having to juggle a phone or iPad in bed.
All masturbation can be improved with the introduction of lubrication.
“Using lubricant enhances your natural lubrication, reduces friction (especially when using a toy), and increases comfort and pleasure overall. Just make sure you are using a lubricant that is compatible with any toys or condoms you may be using,” says Milla Impola, Sex, Condom, and Lube Expert at ONE Condoms. Just make sure you reach for a body-safe lube when enhancing play.
One more toy reminder: keep it clean! Any toy that goes on or in your body needs to be cleaned after use. For most toys, a simple rinse with warm soapy water will do the trick. And some toys can even be run through the dishwasher! Be sure to read the care instructions of your favorite toy to figure out what’s best for it.
For those with a vulva
Both internal and external touch can lead to great pleasure. For starters, explore different kinds of touch on and around your clitoris. Try circles, tapping, or just steady pressure. Adding a bullet vibe can take your clitoral exploration to the next level, or if you prefer internal stimulation, add a G-spot vibrator to the mix.
For those with a penis
Let's talk about how to jerk off without porn by focusing on sensation. This is about more than just a fast up-and-down motion. Try different grips, explore the head and shaft, and don't forget the perineum and testicles. If you’d like to try staying harder for longer, try experimenting with a cock ring. And if you’re feeling extra adventurous, consider adding some anal or prostate play to the mix with an insertable vibrator.
If you’re not sure how to reach new parts of your body, or simply break out of old habits, try exploring different positions when you masturbate.
The Bottom Line
Masturbating without porn can be a powerful way to connect with your body and your pleasure. “Sexual wellness isn’t just about what happens during sex — it’s about knowing what you want, feeling safe in your body, and staying curious about your desires.
Focusing inward helps you cultivate that. It’s like turning the dial from performative to personal, tapping into your power. And the more you know yourself, the better sex gets — solo and partnered,” says Sparks.
Be patient and have fun with it! The whole point is to explore what feels good for you. There's no right or wrong way to do it.