Whether you're curious about trying it for the first time or you're a regular, taking responsibility for your own sexual pleasure is empowering. Masturbation is a powerful way to get to know your body, understand what turns you on, and have amazing orgasms. But if you've ever wondered if you're "doing it right," you're not alone. This guide is here to help.
What is masturbation?
Let's start with the basics. Masturbation is simply the act of touching your own genitals for sexual pleasure. It’s a completely normal and healthy part of sexuality for people of all genders and relationship statuses. Think of it as a form of sexual self-care and the ultimate tool for self-discovery.
How to masturbate: a step-by-step guide for beginners
There is no single "right" way to masturbate — the goal is simply to explore what feels good to you. But if you're looking for a place to start, here is a simple guide.
Step 1: Get comfortable and ensure privacy
Find a time and place where you won’t be disturbed. This could be in your bedroom with the door locked or during a bath or shower. Relaxation is key, so do whatever you need to do to feel safe and comfortable.
Step 2: Start with external touch
You don't have to go straight for your genitals. Start by exploring other parts of your body. Gently touch your inner thighs, your stomach, or your breasts. This helps build arousal and gets you in tune with your body’s sensations.
Step 3: Find your clitoris
For most women, the clitoris is the key to orgasm. It’s a small, sensitive nub of tissue located at the top of your vulva, where the inner labia meet. It’s covered by a small flap of skin called the clitoral hood. This is where the majority of your genital nerve endings are concentrated.
Step 4: Experiment with pressure and speed
Using one or two fingers, start by gently rubbing the area around your clitoris. You can try circular motions, tapping, or moving your fingers up and down. Everyone is different, so play around with different speeds and levels of pressure to see what feels best. Some people prefer very light, teasing touches, while others need firm, direct pressure.
Step 5: Don't forget lube
Lube makes everything better. Even if you're naturally wet, adding a drop or two of water-based lubricant can reduce friction and heighten every sensation, making your exploration more comfortable and pleasurable.
4 ways to make your solo sessions even better
Once you’ve mastered the basics, there are endless ways to elevate your solo sessions.
1. Set the mood
You’d set the mood for a partner, so why not for yourself? Light some candles, put on a sexy playlist, and use your best sheets. You deserve the special touches just as much as anyone else.
2. Introduce a sex toy
If you're new to vibrators, it’s time to see what you've been missing. A simple and approachable toy like the Ultra Bullet or an external massager like the Nubby can introduce you to a world of new sensations and make orgasms easier to achieve.
3. Add porn or erotica
Porn isn’t just a guy thing. Finding female-driven porn or well-written erotica can seriously aid arousal and elevate a solo session from good to phenomenal. Experiment until you find something you like.
4. Involve your partner
Masturbation doesn’t have to be a strictly solo activity. Masturbating in front of your partner or side-by-side is incredibly hot and a great way to show each other exactly what you like. It's also a perfect way to keep things spicy in a long-distance relationship.