Sex Toys as Gifts: When It’s a Good Idea and How to Do It Right

No gift says “I care about your happiness” like a brand-new sex toy. They’re truly the gift that keeps on giving, whether it’s for that special someone, your cheekiest friend, or even yourself.

While giving a pleasure product as a present might feel a little unconventional (and, let’s face it, even a bit awkward in certain settings), it can also be a bold, thoughtful, and fun way to give someone a little spark of joy. Plus, there are plenty of wholesome reasons to gift a sex toy, too. See: Spicing up a relationship, celebrating the art of self-care, inspiring a few laughs, and beyond.

“Sex toys make great gifts for friends, as they open up a fun conversation you may not be able to have with most people,” Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Biird and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, tells FemmeFunn.

A gift like this offers a unique twist to traditional gift-giving and signals a level of openness in your relationship that can strengthen your bond. Here’s how to tell when it’s appropriate to give a sex toy as a present, navigate any awkward snafus, and ensure your gesture is a hit instead of a miss.

When is it a good idea to gift a sex toy?

When it comes to sex toys as presents, timing really is everything. Make sure you know your audience, the occasion, and the kind of relationship you share with the recipient before you reach for the gift wrap and packing tape. Here are a couple of scenarios we think are ideal for gifting something naughty.

Established, intimate relationships.

If you’re looking around your social circle, odds are you can already pinpoint who would appreciate a sex toy for their next birthday and who would run for the hills as soon as they opened the gift box. When deciding if this kind of present is a good fit, think about this person’s personality, preferences, and the level of intimacy in your friendship. If you’re close enough, it can be a saucy yet meaningful gesture that hits the right note.

The same goes for presenting your significant other with a kinky gift. Getting your partner a new sex toy can be a great way to give your intimacy a boost or demonstrate your interest in their fetishes. Whether it’s something you’ve discussed or you’re hoping to make it a surprise, you’ll want to ensure it aligns with their comfort level and reflects your relationship. When well-chosen, a sex toy gift can deepen your bond and create an opportunity for exploration together.

Close, non-judgmental friendships.

Sometimes, you meet those friends or partners with whom it’s easy to share an easy, judgment-free dialogue about sex and intimacy. You probably already have a confidant in mind as you’re reading this. They could be the perfect candidate for a sex toy present, as this gift will feel natural and playful within the context of your relationship. This kind of openness ensures the gesture is received as intended — lighthearted, fun, and maybe even a little empowering — rather than uncomfortable.

“When you’re able to talk to each other about your masturbation routines, it establishes closeness amongst friends,” Weiss points out. “If you have a toy that works great for you, you can get it for your friend as a way to pass on what you’ve learned through your own self-exploration.”

When you’re catching a vibe.

The best gift ideas might come to you directly from the recipient. If your partner, friend, or loved one is dropping hints or expressing curiosity over a particular product, you’ve been presented with a golden opportunity. Acting on their interest shows you’ve been paying attention to their desires and are willing to support them in an actionable way. As long as you’re sure to choose something that aligns with their preferences and comfort level, this one is all systems go.

Bachelorette parties (with careful consideration).

A “hen night” can represent a classic setting for cheeky, off-the-beaten-path gift-giving, making sex toys a popular choice to add some zest to the festivities. They’re a great way to celebrate your bride’s next milestone, incite a little laughter, and catalyze a chat or two about sex and intimacy. However, before you add anything to your shopping cart, consider the tone of the group as well as the personality of the bride. If she’s on the reserved side or the event includes attendees who might feel uncomfortable, it’s best to opt for a more subtle present. The trick is to match the vibe of the party and enhance the celebration without causing anyone to feel out of place.

“Because you want to be respectful of boundaries, I’d refrain from getting someone a sex toy unless you feel confident they’d be comfortable with it,” says Weiss. “If you’re not very close and they’ve never been open with you about sex, I’d get them something more G-rated.”

Situations where it’s NOT a good idea

Your wheels are probably turning on the erotic surprise you’re planning for your S/O or bestie right about now. But for every dynamic where it’s appropriate to gift a sex toy, there’s also one where it’s not.

New or uncertain relationships.

In new relationships, jumping in with both feet can be tempting. There’s an eagerness to share your sexual history and your erotic fantasies with your new beau, and a sex toy can be a great vessel to do so. However, when a relationship is new or undefined, your gesture might come across as presumptive.

Intimacy and comfort levels take time; jumping the gun with such a personal gift might create tension. It’s best to stick with a more neutral present and give the relationship time to heat up until gifting a sex toy feels more organic.

To fix a relationship.

A great sex toy can be pretty miraculous, but keep in mind that it isn’t a magic solution for your relationship woes. If the underlying issue is a lack of communication, trust, or connection, no amount of gift-giving can address those deeper challenges. Instead, focus on open and honest conversation or identifying the means to strengthen your bond before introducing an intimate gift into the dynamic.

Without consent or when unsure of their comfort level.

When in doubt, consider the three C’s: Consent, comfort, and consideration. These things are crucial when gifting a sex toy. If you’re unsure how the recipient will feel or react, or if you haven’t gauged their comfort level with such topics, err on the side of caution lest your gift comes across as intrusive or unwelcome.

If the gift exchange is public.

There are certainly settings where it’s appropriate for spectators to be present when you’re giving someone a sex toy. Take the bachelorette party, for example. This exchange can be light and energetic as long as everyone is in on the joke.

If you’re intending this present as a romantic gesture, it might be better suited for a private exchange. Remember that not everyone shares your kinks or consents to be part of them. Save the risqué gifts for moments where they can be appreciated without an audience.

How to Choose the Right Sex Toy Gift

Ah, the fun part. Finding and selecting the perfect toy for the occasion. Picture the recipient in your mind.

Are you picturing them? Great. Now, consider their preferences and personality. Are they adventurous or low-key? Daring or a bit more laid back? Next, think about their level of expertise with pleasure products. A seasoned pro might appreciate something more avant-garde, while a beginner will appreciate your attentiveness to user-friendly controls.

If they’ve ever mentioned something dirty they’d like to try in bed, capitalize on that when their next milestone rolls around. Consider their comfort level with different types of sensations, too. This can help you choose a toy that matches their style or needs. Lastly, make sure you keep their gender identity in mind. The best sex toys for women look different than the best sex toys for men.

“If you’re not sure what your friend’s specific preferences are, go for something basic with universal appeal like a wand or suction vibrator,” suggests Weiss. “If you want it to have a festive vibe, pick something with a fun design, shape, or color. There are also sex toys that double as rings or necklaces, which make for multipurpose gifts.”

Essential Gift-Giving Tips

💋 Discreet packaging. Make no mistake: Presentation matters, especially with a scandalous gift. Discreet packaging ensures your gift is private and tasteful. (Each FemmeFunn product is packaged discreetly!)

💋 Get a gift receipt. Include a gift receipt so your giftee can exchange the item if it’s not quite their style. This is a simple way to show you care that they end up with something they actually want.

💋 Include a handwritten card. This personal touch can make your gift that extra little bit more meaningful. Whether you go for sweet or spicy, acknowledge the unique nature of the gift and what you hope the user finds during play.

💋 Look for a deal. Consider investing in a sex toy gift box or couples’ sex toy gift set for added value. These curated bundles often include multiple items, making them some of the best sex toy gifts for a well-rounded, thoughtful surprise.

Our Top Recommendations

Not to be biased, but FemmeFunn offers a variety of giftable goodies that will definitely make a lasting impression. From realistic vibrating dildos to wearable vibes to clitoral vibes, we’ve got a little bit of something for everyone.

Below, we’ve handpicked a few top-selling recommendations to help you choose the perfect gift.

FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: Compact and powerful, this bullet vibe is perfect for anyone who values simplicity and targeted stimulation. It’s a conscious choice for first-timers or experienced users alike.

FemmeFunn Diamond Wand ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: With its textured silicone body and 21 exciting vibration settings, this wand is ideal for someone who loves relaxation, all-over massage, or external stimulation, making it a luxe and practical present.

FemmeFunn Booster Rabbit ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: The Booster Rabbit combines the allure of clitoral stimulation with deep-stroking G-spot vibrations. If your recipient lives for variety, this baby is for them.

FemmeFunn Lola G ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: Easy on the wallet and even easier to use, this G-spot vibrator is a great option for beginners looking to explore internal stimulation at their own pace.

FemmeFunn Dioni ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: This sleek, cutting-edge finger vibrator offers customizable patterns, so your gift recipient can really make playtime their own. This is an excellent choice for an experienced user who’d love to try something new.

FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet ➡️

Why it’s a great gift: Elegant, discreet, and effective, this sophisticated bullet vibrator is a swanky option for anyone who appreciates style as much as function in their pleasure products.

The Bottom Line

Sex toys as gifts might seem unconventional at first, but when chosen with care, they can offer a little thrill, spark important conversations, and even deepen your relationships. Whether it’s for a cheeky friend, a romantic partner, or just treating yourself, the key is knowing your audience and the occasion.

“As long as you know this person either has toys or is open enough to try one out, you could positively impact their solo or partnered sex life with this kind of gift!” promises Weiss.