There are two types of people in the world – those who admit they’d like to feel sexier and those who aren’t being honest with themselves. Being able to command attention and turn every head in the room just plain feels good. Everyone knows or has met someone who positively radiates sex appeal without even trying and has wondered what it would be like to be the same.

Feeling and coming across as effortlessly sexy isn’t necessarily about having a perfect figure or a face that looks like it belongs in a magazine. Sexiness does come more naturally to some people than others, but it’s also something you can learn with enough practice. Here are some great tips for getting started.

1.      Understand that “sexy” is relative.

No two people will have exactly the same ideas as to what makes a particular person sexy. One person may think girl next door-style innocence is the sexiest thing in the world, while someone else might absolutely melt for in-your-face flirtatiousness. People have different ideas about what makes someone’s face, body, demeanor, and attitude sexy, as well.

Don’t waste your energy trying to please everyone (or anyone, in particular, for that matter.) What do you like best about yourself? What features and traits attract the most compliments from other people? Those are the traits that contribute to your own unique “sexy factor,” so focus on playing those up.

2.      Channel your inner confidence.

Although no two people are indeed going to agree on everything that makes a person sexy, confidence is one secret ingredient that’s on almost everyone’s list. Like sexiness, confidence is the type of thing that’s hard to put a finger on, but it is something anyone can cultivate.

It starts with accepting yourself, learning to love the unique person you are, and genuinely believing that you’re sexy. The belief part is critical, as — without it — you’ll never quite get to where you want to be. People instinctively know when someone’s putting on an act, so there’s no way to fake confidence. If you believe you’re red hot sexy, it will show in a way that demands other people think so, too.

3.      Laugh often, and have fun always.

There’s something genuinely infectious about a person who always looks like they’re having a good time. Everyone likes having fun and feeling happy, so they’re naturally drawn to folks who look like they know what that’s all about. Also, laughter and smiles are incredibly sexy no matter what the setting.

One surefire way to look, feel, and seem sexier no matter what you’re doing is to have a good time doing it. Enjoy the moment with wild abandon. Don’t be afraid to let other people hear and see your joy. You never know who might find themselves charmed beyond redemption.

4.      Make it a point to give (and demand) respect.

Sexy, confident people know their value. Even if they’re also the humble type, they don’t allow others to take them for granted or treat them as an option when they know they deserve to be a priority. Always treat yourself and others with respect, and demand that those you keep company with do the same.

As with believing that you’re sexy, knowing in your heart that you truly have worth ensures you’ll be treated well. Surround yourself with people who also agree that you’re valuable and worthy. They’ll help your confidence and sense of self-love to grow, making you even more irresistible.

5.      Treat yourself to sexy things.

Sexy people who believe they’re worth it take good care of themselves from the inside out. They make it a point to eat right and work out because they love feeling healthy and being good to themselves. They dress in a way that makes them feel attractive, and they’re always careful to practice good grooming, as they know a great impression is often about those little details.

They also buy themselves little treats that make them feel sexy instead of always waiting for someone else to do it. Don’t buy or wear sexy lingerie only when you know someone else will see you in it. Buy it for yourself, and bask in the beautiful feeling that comes with wearing it when you want. Do the same with items like satin sheets, luxurious perfumes, fun adult toys, or anything else that helps you feel sexy and irresistible.

Ultimately, the best way to be one of the sexy people is to start thinking like one and treating yourself like one. Sexy people are comfortable in their own skins. They know what makes them unique, and they play those things up. They also get that life’s about enjoying yourself to the fullest. They love themselves, they love their lives, and they own it! Start doing the same, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re where you want to be.