There’s a lot to love about dating, but it’s possible to get burnt out on the search for love just like you can with work. If you’re feeling frustrated with the whole process, it might be time for a break. Enter the concept of going "boy sober" — a conscious and empowering dating detox.
What does 'boy sober' mean?
Going boy sober is a decision to take a deliberate break from dating, sex, and romantic pursuits with men (or anyone you date). It’s not about hating men or giving up on love forever. It's about stepping back from the chase to redirect that time and energy back into the most important person in your life: you. It’s a reset button that allows you to reconnect with yourself, your goals, and your own pleasure.
Signs it might be time to go boy sober
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely fed up to take a break, but it’s a good idea to know the signs of dating burnout. If these sound familiar, a dating detox might be exactly what you need.
- Dating feels like a full-time job, a drudge, or a chore.
- You feel like you keep dating the same unsatisfying types of people, and you’re over it.
- You’ve just had your heart broken or suffered another major disappointment.
- Dating feels like it’s taking up all your time and getting in the way of other goals.
- You’re just plain sick and tired of the whole song and dance.
The amazing benefits of a dating detox
Dating and sex should feel exciting and fun. If they don’t right now, stepping back can have some incredible perks.
1. You fall in love with yourself again
When you’re always focused on finding love with someone else, it’s easy to forget how satisfying it is to love yourself. A dating break is the perfect time to get to know yourself better. Discover new interests, try an edgy new look, or treat yourself to a new sex toy. Exploring your body with something like the Funn Beads on your own terms is a powerful act of self-love.
2. You catch up on your own life
Dating takes up a ton of time and energy. Before you know it, it’s been forever since you hung out with your friends or took on a personal project. Use this break to consider what you’ve been neglecting. Go for that promotion at work, plan a dinner party with your besties, or finally redecorate your living room. Make your own life everything you want it to be.
3. You repurpose your time and money
Dating can be expensive. All those dinners, drinks, and tickets add up. A dating break is a chance to give your finances a reboot. Save that cash for a rainy day, or spend it on something you’ve been wanting for yourself without having to justify it to anyone.
4. You finally get your mojo back
No matter how tired of dating you are right now, there was a time when you felt differently. Remember the butterflies of a great first date or the optimism of a new connection? Give yourself the time and space to reset. Focus on other things you love about life. Eventually, you’ll feel ready to get back out there, and you’ll be excited for the possibilities all over again.
Going boy sober isn't about shutting yourself off from love; it's about opening yourself up to a deeper relationship with yourself. A dating detox can be an incredibly recuperative and empowering experience. When you do decide to date again, you’ll be doing it from a place of fullness, not frustration.