We've all flipped through those glossy sex manuals and felt a pang of “Wait, where do I fit in this pretzel situation?” If you've got curves that rival a Renaissance painting, some of those positions just aren't going to fly. Your body is a wonderland, and it deserves to be celebrated in all its delicious glory. The key isn't to find positions that hide your body, but to find ones that work with it to create mind-blowing pleasure.
That's why we sat down with a panel of experts, including Sofie Roos (licensed sexologist), Suzannah Weiss (resident sexologist for Biird and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject), and Chelsea Newton (LCSW and founder of Phases of the Mind Therapy), to get a rundown of the most empowering and pleasurable sex positions for plus-size bodies.
Why finding the right position matters
When you have a larger body, finding the right sex position is about more than just novelty — it's about comfort, confidence, and better orgasms. The right position can eliminate discomfort, provide support where you need it, and create the perfect angle for deep penetration or direct clitoral stimulation. “Having a larger body means more flesh to please and tantalize,” says Weiss. When you feel physically comfortable and supported, it's easier to get out of your head and into your body, allowing you to fully relax and embrace pleasure.
The best sex positions for plus-size couples
According to our experts, these tried-and-true positions are perfect for curvy bodies, offering stability, control, and incredible sensations.
1. The Spoon
Spooning is super intimate, with tons of full-body contact that's perfect for curvier frames. To do it, one partner lies on their side (little spoon) while the other (big spoon) nestles in behind them for rear-entry penetration. Sam MacQuoid, an intimacy and relationship expert at COEDStore, recommends this because it minimizes strain on the body and offers a natural, supportive alignment.
“The Spoon works great for plus-sized people,” says Roos. “It’s a very intimate position that lets you kiss and whisper things in each other’s ears.” Weiss adds that if the person in front is the big spoon, they can lean forward to make extra room for their partner. To make this even more sensual, use a wand vibrator, like the Ultra Wand XL, to add extra pleasure for either partner.
2. The Cowgirl (and Reverse Cowgirl)
When it comes to empowering sex positions, you really can't beat Cowgirl. Even so, many plus-sized folks avoid this position, fearing they’ll “crush” their partner. But as Roos explains, “The top partner's legs bear most of the pressure, with the weight distributed onto the mattress.”
The best part? Cowgirl puts you in the driver's seat. You control the speed, the angle, and the depth. Newton points out that this flexibility helps reduce discomfort because you can adjust to your own pace. If you’d rather not grind directly on your partner’s pelvis, you can use a bullet vibrator like the Solia Bullet to stimulate the clitoris while you ride.
3. Modified Doggy Style (The Turtle)
Doggy style is a classic for a reason: It's primal and allows for deep stimulation. However, traditional kneeling can sometimes be tough on the joints. Newton suggests "The Turtle" position: the receiving partner leans forward, resting their chest and arms on a pillow or a sturdy surface. This reduces pressure on the wrists and knees while allowing the giving partner to control the angle.
Since this leaves hands free, it's the perfect opportunity to incorporate a toy for clitoral stimulation. If you're into anal play, this is also a great position to add a butt plug — just be sure to use plenty of lube.
4. Side-Lying Scissors
Newton recommends this as a gentle alternative to missionary. Both partners lie on their sides with their legs intertwined in a scissor-like fashion. “It’s very gentle on the body, and the sideways positioning means less pressure on the hips or joints,” she says. This position allows for deep connection and eye contact without the physical strain of supporting weight.
5. Kneeling Missionary
Traditional missionary can feel heavy, but Weiss suggest a kneeling version. The partner on top kneels rather than lying flat, keeping their body upright. This leaves room for both bodies to move and provides easy access for the partner on the bottom to use a clitoral vibrator or for the partner on top to reach down and provide clitoral stimulation.
6. Chair or Edge of the Bed
Using furniture can be a game-changer. One partner sits in a sturdy chair or on the edge of the bed while the other sits on their lap facing them. Newton explains that this takes the pressure off the knees and back of the person on the bottom and allows for deep physical contact and easy kissing.
Pro-Tips for Plus-Size Pleasure
- Use props: A specialized pillow, like a wedge, can help you find the perfect angle. MacQuoid suggests placing a supportive pillow under the hips in missionary to provide better alignment and deeper connection.
- Lube is your friend: Especially in positions that involve more movement or deeper penetration, keep a good lube handy to prevent friction and chafing.
- Communication: If you have insecurities, talk about them. Weiss notes that your partner will likely reassure you of how attractive they find you. Asking for specific affirmations during sex can build massive confidence.
The best sex isn't about forcing your body into a position that doesn't feel good. It's about finding the ones that make you feel powerful, comfortable, and incredibly turned on. Listen to your body, communicate with your partner, and have fun exploring what feels amazing for you.