As the world becomes more sex-positive, choosing your first sex toy can go from liberating to overwhelming in a heartbeat. If you’re feeling hesitant, remember that sex toys are just another way to show yourself love and care. They aren't reserved for "adventurous" couples; they are for everyone. They empower you to take control of your pleasure in a way that’s safe and consensual.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know to choose your first sex toy with confidence.
Step 1: Get honest about what you want
Before you even start browsing, take some time to think about why you want a sex toy and what your expectations are. Think about what turns you on, the sensations you like, and whether you'll be using it solo, with a partner, or both. As sex therapist Sophia Turner, ALMFT, recommends, you can experiment with your hands to get an idea of your preferences. Ask yourself:
- Do I prefer internal or external stimulation?
- Do I enjoy vibration, rotation, or thrusting?
- How sensitive are my erogenous zones?
This isn't a test, but it's a good starting point to help you narrow down the options.
Step 2: Get to know the different types of sex toys
Now that you have a better idea of your desires, it’s time to get familiar with what’s out there. Here are some of the most popular types of toys for beginners.
- Rabbit Vibrators: An icon for a reason, rabbit vibrators are designed for simultaneous internal and external stimulation. They typically have a shaft for penetration and a clitoral stimulator that resembles bunny ears, making them perfect for blended orgasms.
- Bullet Vibrators: These are the unsung heroes of the sex toy world. Tiny but mighty, bullets like the Versa Bullet are ideal for pinpointed stimulation on the clitoris, nipples, or other erogenous zones.
- Wand Vibrators: Wands are known for their powerful, rumbling vibrations. As Turner notes, they're a great option for those who enjoy broad, external stimulation or have a very sensitive clitoris. The Ultra Wand is a perfect example of a versatile and powerful wand.
- Dildos: The OG of sex toys, dildos are typically non-vibrating and great for those who crave a feeling of fullness and manual control during vaginal or anal penetration.
- Anal Toys: Toys like butt plugs and anal beads are designed specifically for anal stimulation. If you're curious about anal play, an anal training kit with graduated sizes is a great place to start. Our Funn Beads and Funn Plug are excellent beginner options.
Step 3: Prioritize body-safe materials
This is the most important part of your decision. The sex toy market is unregulated, which means there are unsafe toys out there. To ensure your safety, certified sexologist Sarah Melancon, PhD, recommends looking for toys made from body-safe, non-porous materials.
- The Best Materials: Look for toys made of medical-grade silicone, ABS (hard) plastic, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass. These materials are non-porous, easy to clean, and hypoallergenic.
- Materials to Avoid: Avoid porous materials like jelly, gel, rubber, PVC, or TPE. These materials can harbor bacteria even after cleaning and may contain unsafe chemicals like phthalates. "If you notice any itching, burning, or physical discomfort, stop using the toy immediately," says Melancon.
Step 4: Make your choice and enjoy the journey
If you've never used a sex toy before, it’s often best to start with something versatile, like a classic vibrator that can be used both internally and externally. And even if you’re all about size when it comes to your partners, resist the urge to buy the biggest toy you can find right off the bat. It’s easier than you think to end up with something that’s more than you can handle as a beginner. There’s plenty of time to size up later.
Choosing your first sex toy is a personal, intimate, and memorable decision that will shape your relationship with pleasure for years to come. By understanding your desires and prioritizing safety, you can find a toy that will open up a world of new sensations. The journey of self-discovery is the best part, so have fun with it.