Magazines and bad sex advice (which, unfortunately, go hand-in-hand most of the time) have been hyping up the G-spot since the early 2000s, like it’s some kind of magical hidden button. They all say, if you manage to find it and press it just right, you'll immediately have a mind-blowing orgasm.
The reality isn't as cinematic. If you’ve ever tried finding your G-spot, then you know it’s way more complicated than that. In fact, for a lot of people, finally hitting the G-spot doesn’t result in porn-star-level moans — it just makes them feel like they desperately need to pee.
To figure out what’s going on up there, I asked Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Eve's Blessing: Uncovering the Lost Pleasure Behind Female Pain, to break down what the G-spot is — and more importantly, what it feels like.
What is the G-Spot?
Surprise: The G-spot isn’t actually a distinct "spot" at all.
The term "G-spot" was coined in 1981 to honor Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, who published a 1950 paper about the role of the urethra in female orgasms. But the medical and scientific communities are still debating whether it's an actual anatomical feature.
A somewhat recent systematic review, published in Sexual Medicine, found that even after going over 31 studies, experts couldn't agree on where the G-spot is, how big it is, or if it even exists as a specific structure. Rather than a standalone organ, they think it's a super sensitive interconnected area (they're calling it a "clitourethrovaginal complex") where several parts meet. Because the internal legs of the clitoris wrap around the vaginal canal, stimulating the front wall is usually just hitting your internal clitoris from a different angle.
How to Find It
"The G-spot is on the front of the vaginal wall, 1-3 inches in, and those who want to target it with their hands typically use a come-hither motion with the fingers," Weiss tells FemmeFunn.
This is exactly why so many G-spot toys are designed with a curved tip. "A G-spot stimulator is curved upward the way your fingers are when making this motion," Weiss explains. "The more curved it is, the more targeted and intense the stimulation."
If you're exploring solo, standard toys can work too. "If you have a regular dildo, you can also use it for G-spot stimulation by moving it around on the upper vaginal wall until you feel a sensitive spot," Weiss adds. "That is likely where the G-spot is."
What does the G-spot feel like when touched?
This is where things get subjective. Every body is wired differently, and G-spot stimulation doesn't feel the same for everyone. And that's totally OK!
1. You're probably going to feel like you have to pee.
This is the most common, and definitely the most confusing, reaction to G-spot stimulation. Because this sensitive zone is located right against the urethra and the bladder, applying pressure to it can send a signal to your brain that feels exactly like a full bladder.
Many people stop the second they feel this, assuming they're about to have an embarrassing accident. However, Weiss advises pushing through it. "Sometimes, it's accompanied by a feeling like you have to pee, though this feeling can be an impending sign of squirting, so I do not recommend stopping because of it," she says. "Instead, try pushing downward with your pelvic muscles in order to facilitate squirting."
If you're worried about literally peeing the bed, don't be. "It's very unlikely that you would actually pee during sex because the engorgement associated with sexual arousal and orgasm causes the bladder neck to contract," explains Weiss. However, she adds, "If the have-to-pee feeling gets too uncomfortable, you can take a break to use the bathroom then return to sexual activity."
2. The sensation is deep, broader, and more internal.
While clitoral stimulation is often described as a sharp, highly localized, and buzzing sensation on the surface, G-spot stimulation usually feels much deeper, broader, and more internal. "Many describe G-spot stimulation as a more intense form of pleasure than clitoral stimulation," Weiss notes.
Just remember that this area requires a serious warm-up. Going straight for deep internal pressure before you're fully turned on can be really uncomfortable. "The G-spot is more sensitive to pleasure when someone is already aroused," says Weiss. "If you're not aroused, G-spot stimulation can be uncomfortable, so some experts recommend engaging in clitoral stimulation or even having a clitoral orgasm prior to penetration."
Your cycle can also play a role: "For some, the G-spot is more sensitive during menstruation because of increased blood flow to the pelvis."
If you have endometriosis (I do!), penetration can sometimes bring more pain than pleasure. Painful sex is the third most common symptom of the disease. This deep pain happens because endo creates scar tissue that essentially glues your pelvic organs together (my left ovary was stuck to my pelvic sidewall). And when your vaginal canal can't stretch and move naturally during sex, it hurts. This is why some angles and positions are way more painful than others, depending on exactly where your endo is located.
If you really want to try penetrative play but struggle with pain or discomfort, I highly recommend using a wearable buffer like the Ohnut to control the depth.
3. The orgasm will feel different, too!
"Some people expect G-spot stimulation to feel like clitoral stimulation or don't recognize if they've experienced a G-spot orgasm because it doesn't feel like a clitoral orgasm," Weiss explains. "G-spot orgasms are often described as quicker and less explosive than clitoral orgasms."
At the end of the day, pleasure is entirely subjective. "You get to define your orgasm for yourself, so if you feel a peak of pleasure followed by a sense of release and satisfaction, there's no reason this does not count as a G-spot orgasm," says Weiss.
"G-spot stimulation should not need to include discomfort, so if it's uncomfortable, try first engaging in more foreplay or using a gentler touch," advises Weiss. Take your time, experiment with different pressures, and see what feels best for your body.