Anal Training 101: How to Get Your Ass Ready for All Kinds of Anal Fun

So, you’re here because you want to try anal training. Consider yourself admitted to backdoor boot camp. While anal training is a topic that’s often accompanied by curiosity, confusion, and a lot of questions, it’s actually a simple and essential step to enjoying the world of anal sex.

“Anal training is simply the process of gradually getting your body used to anal play, especially if you’re looking to enjoy larger toys or penetrative anal sex,” Emily May, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and writer at Private Sugar Club, tells FemmeFunn. “It’s all about pacing yourself and letting your body adjust slowly so things feel good rather than painful and overwhelming.”

When performed properly with safety, patience, and pleasure equally prioritized, anal intercourse can elicit mindblowing orgasms, boosted intimacy with a partner, and a whole new world of erotic sensations. But to keep things smooth (literally), you have to start with a warmup. Enter: Anal training. Whether you’re gearing up for partnered play or experimenting solo, this guide will take you through the 411 — what to use, how to get started, and tricks of the trade.

Why anal train — can’t I just do it?

You probably have a friend, a neighbor, or an oversharing coworker who told you about their experience just lubing up and diving in. While this is one approach, you’re in for far more rewards if you take the time to prep your peach.

“Imagine trying to shove a large toy or penis in there without any prep; ouch, right?” says May. “The goal of training is to avoid that kind of discomfort and get your body more relaxed.”

But, anal training is about more than just easing into penetration. It can boost your pleasure, elevate your self-confidence, or deepen intimacy with a partner. It also means:

💋 More pleasure = better orgasms: The area around your anus is rife with nerve endings, which is why you often hear that taking it up the butt produces more intense, longer orgasms. Anal sex training can help your body melt into a relaxation state, reducing friction or discomfort and teeing you up for some earth-shattering climaxes.

💋 Confidence and body positivity: Butt stuff can spook even the most empowered woman, but with the proper mindset and preparation, you can turn this act from your greatest fear to a one-way ticket to cloud nine. Anal training gives you the time and space to rev your engine, so you can build trust with your body, embrace your sexuality, and overcome any worries. The result will be a more meaningful relationship with yourself, plus a newfound foxiness in the bedroom.

💋 Deeper intimacy with your play partner: If you’re exploring with a significant other, training together can enhance your trust, communication, and connection overall. Butt sex (any sex, for that matter!) requires consent and clear boundaries between partners, so it’s a perfect opportunity to slow down and work on trust in your relationship. And spoiler alert: Trust is sexy.

Around this point, you might be wondering: Is anal training for everyone? TLDR: It’s not! Some people love butt stuff, others are just so-so on it, and some don’t find it appealing at all. All of these stances are valid. When in doubt, remember this: If it feels good, do it! The key is to explore only what excites you and not to pressure yourself to engage with or enjoy the things that don’t.

Everything You Need to Anal Train

The first thing you need to keep in mind when the backdoor is involved: No lube, no entry! While you might be able to get away with something from your medicine cabinet or kitchen for your first go around, you’ll want to consider investing in something higher quality if you think you’ll be regularly anal training. (An, no, spit doesn’t count as lube!)

Water-based lubes (like La Nua’s unflavored water-based lube) will pair best with all your favorite toys, but you’ll need to reapply frequently for smooth insertion. Silicone-based lubes are long-lasting and super slick, but they aren’t compatible with silicone toys, so read up on what your dildos are made of before you dunk them in something like La Nua’s silicone lube.

The key to anal training is to get toys that range in thickness from beginner-friendly to larger sizes, so your body can gradually adjust over time. For this reason, you may want to start with a finger or two.

“When choosing toys for anal training, start with a set of butt plugs or graduated dildos that range in size,” says May. “You want to begin small and work your way up gradually,” adding, “Look for toys made of body-safe materials like silicone and make sure they have that all-important flared base — we know how that ends.”

Here are a few examples:

💋 Plug: A butt plug is designed to provide a sensation of fullness to caress your innermost erogenous zones. Take the Plua, for example. This little baby is hands-free and features 10 vibration modes, giving any beginner a lot to experiment with. Plus, plugs are especially handy for novices since they typically feature a flared base that makes them less daunting and easier to maneuver. Make sure you opt for something slim and tapered before upgrading in thickness.

💋 Beads: Anal beads typically have a series of graduated spheres that allow for slow, controlled insertion as you’re training your tush. See: The Funn Beads. They’re made to stroke those hard-to-reach hot spots that make anal play so erotic, all while maintaining a supple and flexible shape.

💋 Anal dilator: Made especially for training, an anal dilator can help you to increase capacity over time by moving up in size at a pace that feels right to you.

💋 Anal training kit: Take the guesswork out of assembling your own toy chest by purchasing an anal training kit. These will come decked out with anal accessories in a variety of sizes. Sometimes they’ll even include an anal training guide of sorts for a bit of light reading before play. All that’s left to do is get curious! Start with the thinnest toy in the set and work towards the end goal.

When it comes to the best toys for anal training, the right gear can go a long way. Consider your experience level, comfort zone, and your individual goals. Start with something slim that’s easy and smooth to insert. When you’re ready to progressively stretch, opt for anal beads. For long-term training, a dilator set is perfect for expanding at your own pace and ensuring a comfy adjustment. No matter what, prioritize body-safe materials and keep the lube on deck.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Anal Training

First-time anal training can be exciting, liberating, and a little intimidating. It’s important to keep calm and listen to your body, especially as you’re just starting out. As long as you keep your pleasure, comfort, and safety centered, you truly can’t go wrong.

Here’s a step-by-step guide provided by May:

Find a quiet time when you can relax and focus. Clean yourself thoroughly (no one wants unexpected interruptions during intimate moments). Apply plenty of lube to both yourself and the toy. Start with the smallest toy in your set. Slowly and gently insert it, taking deep breaths to help your muscles relax. If it feels uncomfortable, pause. Wait for your muscles to relax and slowly begin stimulating again.

Once the toy is inside, leave it there for a few minutes. Then, slowly try moving it around a little or gently stimulating other areas of your body to help you relax. Eventually, you’ll be able to increase the time you spend with the toy inside as your body gets used to the sensation. Repeat this process over several days or weeks, gradually moving to larger toys when the smaller ones start to feel easy.

And please, if something hurts, stop. Pain is your body’s way of saying, “This isn’t working.” Anal play shouldn’t feel like torture. Take breaks if you need to, and let your partner know. If you’re training solo, be gentle with yourself. There’s no shame in taking your time.

When in doubt, rely on these tips:

💋 Breathe easy: Throughout any anal practice, take mindful, deep breaths to coax your body into unwinding. Try exhaling as you insert fingers or a toy – this can release tension and make for smoother penetration. If you have a go-to method to incite calm, be it a massage during foreplay or a certain playlist, lean into it for the most satisfying experience.

💋 Take it one step at a time: As we’ve mentioned, you’ll want to start small and proceed slowly. Give your body ample time to accommodate the sensations of each toy before you move on to its larger counterpart.

💋 Your body knows best: If you feel resistance, discomfort, or even a little hesitation, pause, shake it off, and try again when you feel up to it. There’s no shame in pumping the breaks if something doesn’t feel right.

💋 Keep it fresh: After play, make sure you sanitize your toys with warm water, an antibacterial soap, or a specialty cleaner for pleasure products. That way, when you’re ready to continue practicing for anal, you can return to your favorite toy, knowing it’s clean and safe for use.

💋 When in doubt, chat it out: If you have a partner along for the ride on your anal training adventure, keep the lines of communication open so that your boundaries and desires are known.

💋 Try, test, then try again: Don’t be afraid to try new things. Different toys, positions, vibes — the world is your playground. Go wild!

💋 Safety is sexy: Lube is your best friend, so don’t be stingy! And make sure your toys have a flared base unless you wanna make friends with the ER staff. If anything feels off, stop and call your doctor. Pleasure is important, but your health is even more important. Trust us, taking care of yourself is the sexiest thing you can do.

Sizing Up: When and How to Level Up

We all get to that point where our favorite toys just… don’t feel as exciting anymore. You know that feeling? Like you’re ready for something more? That’s your body telling you that you’re ready to take things to the next level. You’ll know you’re ready when your current toy slides in comfortably, no tightness, no resistance. And even then, taking a breath and checking in with yourself mentally is key.

When you try a bigger size as part of your anal training, it might feel a little weird at first. Like you’re a beginner again. That’s totally normal! Just go slow. (And remember to use plenty of lube!) If it feels too intense, that’s okay too! Maybe you just need a little more time with your current size. Listen to your body. This is about pleasure, not pressure.

The Bottom Line

Anal training is all about the journey, not so much the destination. The best way to approach it is with patience, curiosity, and a focus on giving yourself pleasure. By starting with smaller toys and using plenty of high quality lube, you can enjoy the ride of warming up your body for larger and larger toys with comfort and with confidence.

This intimate activity is great with a partner, but you can also have a fully gratifying anal training experience on your own. No matter your circumstances, the main thing is to put your needs first, respect your limits, and trust the process. You might get a kick out of purchasing your next toy when you’re ready to level up.

Or, you might prefer to purchase an anal training kit with the groundwork all laid out. There’s no “right” way to anal train. Finding what works for you is part of the fun! So if you’ve been wondering how to train your ass for anal, keep relaxation, exploration, and a willingness to test and try top of mind. The best anal training plan is simply the one that keeps you coming back for more.