Anal Training 101: How to Get Your Ass Ready for All Kinds of Anal Fun

So, you’re here because you want to know how to anal train. Consider yourself admitted to backdoor boot camp. While anal training is a topic that’s often accompanied by curiosity, confusion, and a lot of questions, it’s actually a simple and essential step to enjoying the world of anal sex.

"Anal training is simply the process of gradually getting your body used to anal play, especially if you’re looking to enjoy larger toys or penetrative anal sex," Emily May, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and writer at Private Sugar Club, tells FemmeFunn. "It’s all about pacing yourself and letting your body adjust slowly so things feel good rather than painful and overwhelming."

When performed properly with safety, patience, and pleasure equally prioritized, anal intercourse can elicit mindblowing orgasms, boosted intimacy with a partner, and a whole new world of erotic sensations. But to keep things smooth (literally), you have to start with a warmup. Enter: Anal training. Whether you’re learning how to train for anal sex with a partner or experimenting solo, this guide will take you through the 411 — what to use, how to get started, and tricks of the trade.

What is anal training?

You probably have a friend, a neighbor, or an oversharing coworker who told you about their experience just lubing up and diving in. While this is one approach, you’re in for far more rewards if you take the time to prep your peach. What is anal training, exactly? It is the dedicated practice of using graduated sizes to relax the sphincter muscles and increase elasticity.

"Imagine trying to shove a large toy or penis in there without any prep; ouch, right?" says May. "The goal of training is to avoid that kind of discomfort and get your body more relaxed."

But, anal training is about more than just easing into penetration. It can boost your pleasure, elevate your self-confidence, or deepen intimacy with a partner. It also means:

• More pleasure = better orgasms: The area around your anus is rife with nerve endings, which is why you often hear that taking it up the butt produces more intense, longer orgasms. For those with a prostate, learning how to have a prostate orgasm starts with proper training. This helps your body melt into a relaxation state, reducing friction or discomfort and teeing you up for some earth-shattering climaxes.
• Confidence and body positivity: Butt stuff can spook even the most empowered woman, but with the proper mindset and preparation, you can turn this act from your greatest fear to a one-way ticket to cloud nine. Anal training gives you the time and space to rev your engine, so you can build trust with your body, embrace your sexuality, and overcome any worries. The result will be a more meaningful relationship with yourself, plus a newfound foxiness in the bedroom.
• Deeper intimacy with your play partner: If you’re exploring with a significant other, training together can enhance your trust, communication, and connection overall. Butt sex (any sex, for that matter!) requires consent and clear boundaries between partners, so it’s a perfect opportunity to slow down and work on trust in your relationship. And spoiler alert: Trust is sexy.

Everything you need to anal train

The first thing you need to keep in mind when the backdoor is involved: No lube, no entry! While you might be tempted to use something from your kitchen, sticking to high-quality lubricants is safer than experimenting with anal lube alternatives like coconut oil, which can degrade latex. (And no, spit doesn't count as lube!)

Water-based lubes will pair best with all your favorite anal toys, but you’ll need to reapply frequently for smooth insertion. Silicone-based lubes are long-lasting and super slick, but they aren’t compatible with silicone toys, so read up on what your dildos are made of before you dunk them in.

The key to anal training is to get toys that range in thickness from beginner-friendly to larger sizes, so your body can gradually adjust over time. For this reason, you may want to start with a finger or two.

"When choosing toys for anal training, start with a set of butt plugs or graduated dildos that range in size," says May. "You want to begin small and work your way up gradually," adding, "Look for toys made of body-safe materials like silicone and make sure they have that all-important flared base — we know how that ends."

Here are a few examples:

• Plug: A butt plug is designed to provide a sensation of fullness to caress your innermost erogenous zones. Take the Plua, for example. This little baby is hands-free and features 10 vibration modes, giving any beginner a lot to experiment with. Plus, plugs are especially handy for novices since they typically feature a flared base that makes them less daunting and easier to maneuver. Make sure you opt for something slim and tapered before upgrading in thickness.
• Beads: Anal beads typically have a series of graduated spheres that allow for slow, controlled insertion as you’re training your tush. See: The Funn Beads. They’re made to stroke those hard-to-reach hot spots that make anal play so erotic, all while maintaining a supple and flexible shape.
• Anal dilator: Made especially for training, an anal dilator can help you to increase capacity over time by moving up in size at a pace that feels right to you.
• Anal training kit: Take the guesswork out of assembling your own toy chest by purchasing an anal training kit. These will come decked out with anal accessories in a variety of sizes. Sometimes they’ll even include an anal training guide of sorts for a bit of light reading before play. All that’s left to do is get curious! Start with the thinnest toy in the set and work towards the end goal.

Step-by-step guide: how to start anal training

First-time anal training can be exciting, liberating, and a little intimidating. It’s important to keep calm and listen to your body, especially as you’re just starting out. As long as you keep your pleasure, comfort, and safety centered, you truly can’t go wrong.

Here's a guide on how to start anal training provided by May:

Find a quiet time when you can relax and focus. Clean yourself thoroughly (no one wants unexpected interruptions during intimate moments). Apply plenty of lube to both yourself and the toy. Start with the smallest toy in your set. You might even want to start with rimming or oral stimulation to relax the area first.

Slowly and gently insert the toy, taking deep breaths to help your muscles relax. If it feels uncomfortable, pause. Wait for your muscles to relax and slowly begin stimulating again.

Once the toy is inside, leave it there for a few minutes. Then, slowly try moving it around a little or gently stimulating other areas of your body to help you relax. Eventually, you'll be able to increase the time you spend with the toy inside as your body gets used to the sensation. Repeat this process over several days or weeks, gradually moving to larger toys when the smaller ones start to feel easy.

When in doubt, rely on these tips:

• Breathe easy: Throughout any anal practice, take mindful, deep breaths to coax your body into unwinding. Try exhaling as you insert fingers or a toy – this can release tension and make for smoother penetration. If you have a go-to method to incite calm, be it a massage during foreplay or a certain playlist, lean into it for the most satisfying experience.
• Take it one step at a time: As we’ve mentioned, you’ll want to start small and proceed slowly. Give your body ample time to accommodate the sensations of each toy before you move on to its larger counterpart.
• Your body knows best: If you feel resistance, discomfort, or even a little hesitation, pause, shake it off, and try again when you feel up to it. There’s no shame in pumping the breaks if something doesn’t feel right.
• Keep it fresh: After play, make sure you sanitize your toys with warm water, an antibacterial soap, or a specialty cleaner for pleasure products. That way, when you’re ready to continue practicing for anal, you can return to your favorite toy, knowing it’s clean and safe for use.
• When in doubt, chat it out: If you have a partner along for the ride on your anal training adventure, keep the lines of communication open so that your boundaries and desires are known.

Sizing up: when and how to level up

We all get to that point where our favorite toys just... don't feel as exciting anymore. You know that feeling? Like you're ready for something more? That's your body telling you that you're ready to take things to the next level. You'll know you're ready when your current toy slides in comfortably, no tightness, no resistance. And even then, taking a breath and checking in with yourself mentally is key.

When you try a bigger size as part of your anal training, it might feel a little weird at first. Like you're a beginner again. That's totally normal! Just go slow. (And remember to use plenty of lube!) If it feels too intense, that's okay too! Maybe you just need a little more time with your current size. Listen to your body. This is about pleasure, not pressure.

Note for the adventurous: If you're wondering how to train for anal fisting or extreme size play, the principles are the same, but the timeline is much longer. You must master the largest standard toys first, use copious amounts of lube, and never force expansion. Extreme play requires months, sometimes years, of patience.

FAQ: Common questions about anal training

The bottom line

Anal training is all about the journey, not so much the destination. The best way to approach it is with patience, curiosity, and a focus on giving yourself pleasure. By starting with smaller toys and using plenty of high quality lube, you can enjoy the ride of warming up your body for larger and larger toys. Ready to start? Check out our full collection to find your perfect starter kit.