How to Have Oral Sex: A Guide for Givers & Receivers

Oral sex can be the absolute pinnacle of orgasmic pleasure, an incredible act of intimacy and release. Yet, for many people, performance anxiety can get in the way. Thoughts like "Am I doing this right?" or "I hope they’re enjoying this" can take you out of the moment.

That’s exactly where we come in. This is your definitive guide on how to have oral sex, packed with super sexy tips to help you get ahead (pun intended) and level up your game.

The basics: What is oral sex?

Before we dive into the "how-to," let's clarify the "what." Oral sex is using your mouth, tongue, or lips to stimulate your partner's genitals or anus. While "oral sex" is the umbrella term, you'll often hear specific names depending on the anatomy involved:

• Fellatio: Oral sex performed on a penis (often called a blow job).
• Cunnilingus: Oral sex performed on a vulva (often called eating out).
• Analingus: Oral stimulation of the anus (often called rimming).

Safety first: How to have safe oral sex

If you are wondering how to have safe oral sex, the key is understanding that while you cannot get pregnant from oral, STIs can still be transmitted. Infections like herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea can pass between the mouth and genitals.

To reduce the risk, you can use barriers. A non-lubricated condom is great for fellatio, while a dental dam (a thin sheet of latex) or something a bit sexier, like Lorals single-use latex panties, can be placed over the vulva or anus. And, of course, keeping your toys clean with toy cleaner is a must for staying healthy.

How to have oral sex with a woman (or vulva owner)

Every vulva is unique, so learning how to have oral sex with a woman or vulva-owner is about exploration. Here are the pro tips:

1. Warm up first

Don't rush straight to the bulls-eye. People with vulvas often take a little longer to get fully turned on, so diving right in might be jarring. Spend time kissing her inner thighs, exhaling warm breath on her skin, and running your fingers over the vulva before making direct contact.

2. Mix up your "tongue-niques"

There is no single right way to lick. You can move your tongue up and down, side to side, or in circles. Try using the pointed tip of your tongue for strong, direct sensation, or flatten your tongue out for broader, gentler strokes.

3. Focus on the clit (but not only the clit)

The clitoris is the star of the show, but it can be sensitive. While some love direct attention, others find it too intense. You can try licking the clitoral hood or exploring the labia to see what elicits the best reaction.

How to have oral sex with a man (or penis owner)

Ready to give mind-blowing head? Fellatio is about more than just "bobbing." It involves licking, sucking, and hand stimulation.

1. Use your hands

Don't forget that you have hands! Wrapping your hand around the shaft and rubbing up and down can mimic the sensation of intercourse while you work your mouth. You can also use your free hand to cup the testicles or stimulate the perineum.

2. Focus on the tip

The head of the penis (the glans) is packed with nerve endings. Licking and sucking this area often feels the most intense. If they are uncircumcised, you may want to gently pull the foreskin back before stimulating the tip.

3. Take it all in (comfortably)

You don't need to be a porn star to be great at this. Taking the penis into your mouth doesn't necessarily mean deep-throating; it just means enveloping as much as is comfortable for you to increase the sensation for your partner. If you want to avoid gagging, try touching the back of your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Make it tasty: The power of flavored lube

Let's be real: sometimes the taste of genitals can be a barrier. If you want to make the experience delicious for the giver, incorporate a flavored lubricant. It’s a fun way to reduce anxiety about scent or taste.

FemmeFunn has options that taste as good as dessert:

• Fresh and cool: Watermelon Mint Flavored Lube
• Sweet and warm: Honey Vanilla Flavored Lube
• Tropical vibes: Strawberry Coconut Flavored Lube

Positions to try

Human beings aren't pretzels, but getting creative with positioning can help you access the genitals more easily.

• The 69: This classic allows both partners to give and receive at the same time. It works for any gender combination!
• Pull up a chair: Have the receiving partner sit on the edge of a chair or bed with legs spread, while the giver kneels on the floor. This gives excellent access and saves the giver's neck.
• Lie back and moan: The receiver lies on their back (try a pillow under the hips) while the giver positions themselves between their legs. It puts the giver in control and lets the receiver fully relax.

For the receiver: How to enjoy it more

Sometimes, receiving is harder than giving. If you feel vulnerable, remember that your partner wants to be there.

• Give clues: You don't have to give a speech. Moans, gasps, and hip movements are great ways to tell your partner they are on the right track.
• Add a toy: If you need a little extra push over the edge, introduce a sex toy. A wearable vibrator can provide hands-free clitoral stimulation while your partner focuses on oral.

Whether you’re giving or receiving, great oral sex comes down to three things: enthusiasm, communication, and a willingness to explore. If you decide to head to the land down under, make sure you want to be there — and then show them how much you want it.

FAQ: Oral sex advice