Hot sexting is like foreplay for your phone — it's a fun, sexy way of connecting with a partner and building anticipation for what's to come. But if you’ve ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing you wanted to throw your phone into the ocean, you’re not alone. The truth is, you don’t need the linguistic prowess of a romance novelist to be great at sexting. You just need to be confident, be yourself, and have a little inspiration. That's where we come in. This is your complete guide on how to sext, complete with rules for success and plenty of sexting examples to steal.
What is sexting?
Sexting is a broad term that covers sending any sexually explicit or suggestive material via your phone. This includes everything from flirty emojis and lingerie photos to super-descriptive paragraphs about what you'd like to do to your partner when you get home. It’s all about using language and images to create a shared, sexy headspace.
How to sext: 7 rules for amazing sexting
Before you start typing, follow these simple rules to make sure your sexting game is fun, safe, and effective.
1. Paint a picture (and get creative)
Getting started can be the most daunting part. Draw inspiration from your surroundings, describing what you're wearing, what you're doing, or what you'd like to do later. And if your reality isn't terribly exciting — exaggerate a little. "Reading a book in my pajamas" can easily become "Lying here naked in bed thinking about you."
2. Get inspired with erotica
If you're struggling to find the right words, try reading or listening to something steamy first. Erotica is jam-packed with sexy language that can help broaden your own sexual dialogue and get you in the mood.
3. Be honest about your desires
Sexting can be a terrific way for you and your partner to discover more about each other's sexual preferences and kinks, as it can feel safer behind a screen. Don't be afraid to ask questions like, "What would you do to me if you were here right now?" And don't hold back from expressing your own desires.
4. Establish boundaries first
Always check with your partner to see if they're in the mood and space to sext. You’ll also need to define your boundaries. Maybe descriptive texts are okay, but photos are off-limits. If the conversation becomes uncomfortable, a safe word can come in handy. It's also a great idea to learn their "lust language" — do they like sweet and romantic, or rough and degrading? Always discuss it first.
5. Give plenty of positive reinforcement
Sexting can make people feel vulnerable, especially if photos are involved. Go the extra mile to make your partner feel good about what they're sharing. Since they can't see your body language, use emojis, exclamation points, and steamy adjectives to convey how turned on you are.
6. Prioritize your privacy and safety
Only share photos or videos with a partner you completely trust. As a general rule, it's safest to avoid sending explicit images that include your face. It's also smart to use a secure app to store any nudes so they don’t get accidentally seen or sent from your main photo library.
7. Practice makes perfect
Don't worry if you feel awkward or foolish at first. The more you do it, the better you’ll get. Your partner isn't expecting award-winning prose. They're excited because it's you behind the screen. Confidence is key.
15+ sexting examples for any situation
Whether you're a rookie or a superstar, here are some helpful prompts and sexting examples to get the juices flowing. Feel free to copy and paste!
For when you want to ask for consent
“You’ve been on my mind all day, and I have some very NSFW thoughts I’d like to share. Wanna play?”
For when you want to start slow
“I’m going to be all over you the next time I see you.”
For when you’re feeling nostalgic
“Remember that time you made me come so hard we had to put the sheets in the wash immediately? Yeah… can’t stop thinking about that.”
For when you want to tease them
“If only you could see what I'm wearing right now. It's silky and… sorry for the typos, I’m typing with one hand ;)”
For when you want to talk about fantasies
“You tell me your favorite fantasy, and I’ll tell you mine.”
For when you want to talk about toys
“I just got a new remote-controlled vibe like the Unda. I can’t wait for you to use it on me from across the room.”
For when you’re feeling kinky
“I want you to blindfold me and kiss me all over… from one pair of lips to the other.”
For when you want to take charge
“Tonight, I want you to just lie back and let me take care of you.”
For when you want to send a pic
“Wanna see more? Tell me the first thing you'd do if you were here with me right now.”
For when you’re missing them
“Missing you… and the feeling of you inside of me.”
If you're unsure where to start, these sexting examples should help you get into the swing of things. Remember to use language that feels natural to you. Dirty talk doesn't have to be X-rated to be seductive — sometimes, being a little evasive is the biggest turn-on. Just do what feels comfortable and have fun with it.