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Anal 101: Exploring your back passage a hole new way

November 23, 2021

Anal Toys|
Sexual Health|

Did you know that you can have mind-blowing orgasms during anal sex? Additionally, a good anal session may help induce relaxation and leave you (more than) satisfied. 

Unfortunately, anal sex has been buried beneath many myths that often keep women apprehensive of the act. Contrary to these myths, anal sex feels terrific and can result in intense orgasmic experiences when done right. 

Anal sex, like the rest of our erotic expressions, is a delicate art form that requires knowledge and care to achieve the utmost pleasure experience. Whether you’re Team I Love Anal, Team Not For Me, or somewhere in between, there’s quite a bit of stuff you should know before you attempt to ram something into your rectum. Either way, we’ve got your butt covered!

Consider this article the go-to guide for your next back-of-the-house party. Whether you’re new to anal sex, trying to spice up your solo play, or prepping for your lover to have a bottomless amount of fun, you’ve come to the perfect place.

FAQ: All things anal

1. Why does anal play feel so great?

All credit needs to go to the prostate for this one! The prostate gland is a small muscular structure in males that makes the semen found in male ejaculate. It is surrounded by nerve endings that, when stimulated, cause arousal.

While women don’t have a prostate, they have a prostate-like button called the G-spot, found in the vaginal canal. This G-spot can be indirectly stimulated via through the wall that connects the vagina and rectum. 

Furthermore, the rich concentration of nerve endings in the anus causes even a finger to be stimulating. So, whether you insert a thumb, dildo, or penis, you’re in for a one-of-a-kind sensory experience.

2. How do you locate the prostate gland?

The prostate is a gland located inside the body. So, you’ll have to go into the anus to find it. While penetrating through the back door is the most direct way to stimulate a man’s prostate, you can also do it by pressing/massaging his perineum (the skin that lies between the penis and the anus). It feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue within, comparable to a woman’s G-Spot.

3. Does this mean that everyone has a prostate?

Only males who are cis-gendered and designated male at birth have a prostate gland in their anus. The Skene glands (the female G-Spot) are the female equivalent of the prostate.

4. What are the best positions for anal sex?

Positions for anal are about as diverse as vaginal positions. Popular ones are receiver on top, facing front or back; doggy-style; missionary; receiver flat on back with legs closed (provides the receiver with a lot more control); and nearly anything else you can imagine.

When it comes to anal sex positions, anything goes depending on how flexible you and your partner are. So don’t assume that you’ll need to get it in doggy style. Anal is terrific in missionary, as is modified doggy.

5. What is pegging?

Pegging refers to a woman wearing a strap on and penetrating another individual’s rear to simulate anal. 

6. What is a rim job (or rimming)?

A rim job is an anal play act in which one partner licks the other person’s rectum.

7. Will anal sex be painful?

Besides the poop issue (which we’ll discuss in more detail below), whether or not anal sex hurts is another major concern that you may have. Yet, like with everything, if done correctly, you can reduce your risk of feeling discomfort. 

Also, don’t worry – it’s only anal! Anal shouldn’t hurt if you use sufficient lube, are relaxed, have a slow and gentle insertion, and have a considerate partner. Remember to do what makes you comfortable and feels good. You’re the only person who can decide this, so you must communicate this every step of the way. It’s worth mentioning that anal isn’t for everyone, and if it isn’t for you, that’s also perfectly ok.

8. What happens if I really enjoy it and I do it often – will it make me incontinent?

The idea that anal intercourse will loosen you up or weaken your butthole leaving you defecating and farting all over the place isn’t entirely accurate. While the chances of being left in a diaper or passing gas all day are slim, you can still get in on the butt action without damaging your precious derriere by doing Kegels regularly, remembering to go slowly and always using plenty of lube. 

9. Is it ok for him to blow in there?

If both of you have tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases, you may decide to forgo using condoms. If you’re wondering if it’s fine for your guy to ejaculate within your anal cavity during anal sex – worry no more -doctors say it’s perfectly fine! But make sure you’re both healthy, as the anus can suffer minor tears during sex, which can leave you more susceptible to infection. 

Anal Play Hints & Tips

Now that you’ve had a crash course in anal, it’s time to discuss how to make this type of play smoother and more pleasurable for you and your partner. 

Take it easy.

Compared to vaginal penetration, anal play is considerably trickier. It’s always advisable to start using fingers or a small butt plug initially rather than penile penetration straight away. The recipient should always feel comfortable and at ease. If it hurts, stop right away — it shouldn’t be painful.

Before inserting anything, prospective penetrators should try massaging their partner’s anus and the surrounding area. That way, the nerves in those nether regions will be woken up and prepared for more. 

Anal and lube – two peas in a pod.

Never attempt to have anal sex with just spit! Your rectum, unlike the vagina, does not self-lubricate or expand when aroused, so you’re going to need plenty of lube – this can’t be emphasized enough! The goal is to have a pain-free, effortless gliding in and out.

Also, if you’re using a sex toy, make sure you know what kind of lubes are suitable to use with it. Use the lube of your choice, generously slathering it all over. Do not be shy to reapply it when required.

Communication is crucial.

Anal sex, as well as all the glorious actions that surround it, is an incredibly intimate experience. Establish open channels of communication with your partner about what you want, how you feel, what you’re looking forward to, and what is off-limits. Only when both partners are comfortable can intimacy be enjoyable.


This should come as a no-brainer, regardless of any intimate act. Before you dive in, agree on a safe word. Use this word if you are uncomfortable, in pain, or just want to stop. This word should be easy and can be said in a single breath. 

Spicy food and anal sex aren’t friends.

For the most enjoyable anal encounter, you should prepare ahead of time. And by prepare, we mean to stay away from specific foods. Spicy meals, beans, cheese, and so on are all items to avoid if you plan to use the backdoor later in the day. Avoid any bowel-reactant meals for at least 4 hours before getting frisky; otherwise, things might get a bit messy!  

Natural encounters.

It stands to reason that when you bring your anus to the party, you’ll always run the risk of encountering some sort of secretions. As a result, be sure that both you and your partner are prepared to deal with a messy situation. And, if that does happen, penetrators should never make their partners feel bad about any surprises. 

While we’re on the topic, it is necessary to highlight that fecal matter is stored in the colon, not in the rectum (which is penetrated during anal sex). The only time poop is present in the rectum is when it passes through before exiting the body. 

Anal sex is, therefore, not, by default, a shitty experience. But the fact remains – it can happen, and that’s a very vulnerable place for anyone to be in. Remember, it’s all natural. It may feel like you want to poop during anal penetration; however, you won’t if your bowels are empty! 

Also, if you think about it, the “feeling of pooping” is very pleasurable. During anal sex, this feeling is eroticized into sexual pleasure minus the poop. Get it?

Dildos and butt plugs

Butt plugs are excellent training tools for anal sex. Sex Toys made of cheap rubber or chemicals should be avoided. The use of anal plugs is a great way to introduce anal penetration without thrusting or friction. It enables your anus to relax and experience the sensation of being filled up. Experiment with inserting a butt plug (like this one) during oral sex, penetrative vaginal intercourse, and even solo masturbation. The pleasure is sensational!

Slow, deep breaths

Take note of how your anal muscles contract and relax. It’s a good idea to practice consciously relaxing them during anal. Your comfort is the key to mutual enjoyment. Many people assume that anal sex involves hardcore anal penetration, but this is not the reality, so forget what you see in porn – those actors have had plenty of practice! 

Maximize orgasmic potential.

Place a vibrator on your clitoris as you’re penetrated anally – this will intensify orgasms massively. Not only will the vibrations help your anal muscles relax, but once you orgasm, you’ll start craving more backdoor fun. 

Be mindful of which finger or toy goes where.

Please. For the love of all things vaginal, always ensure that no cross-pollination occurs! When it comes to anal, any finger, penis or toy that’s been in your bum has no place in the vagina until it has been cleaned with soap and water. Otherwise, you could land up with a nasty UTI, and those are never any fun.

Your awesome anal checklist:

  • Empty your bowels ahead of time.
  • Eat lightly during the day and avoid anything that makes you feel constipated or gassy. As already stated, avoid spicy food or anything that could potentially give you the runs.
  • Ensure that you have loads of privacy and time to explore together. This means no upcoming meetings, screaming children outside, or phone calls from work.
  • Set up your love-making area with pleasure props such as tissues, wet wipes, a glass of water, lubricant, vibrator, or favorite sex toy, and comfortable pillows.
  • Take a bath or shower.
  • Lock the doors!
  • Light the candles and put on some sexy music.
  • Have an open discussion with your partner and agree that you will only go as far as you feel comfortable and that no one will not push you past your limits.
  • A sensual body (and booty!) massage may help you relax if you’re feeling anxious.
  • Foreplay, foreplay, and more foreplay!

The intimacy of anal sex

Sex isn’t always perfect. And is far from it. It may feel awkward and silly at times but keep in mind that a sense of humor and genuine curiosity will lead to good things! The anus is a portal to human vulnerability. 

Understanding this feeling of vulnerability fosters a sense of compassion and togetherness among partners. This is why communication is pivotal, and by doing so, your partner can support you accordingly.

Due to the sheer vulnerability involved, anal is one of the most intimate sexual acts you can experience. Contrary to popular belief, anal sex can be remarkably romantic and passionate, creating a deeper connection and intimacy between lovers. 

Anal sex is as magic as it is wild! Allowing oneself to appreciate this carnal act within the context of love may be healing to the body, heart, and soul.

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