These days, sex toys aren’t just great ways to take your solo pleasure sessions to the next level and beyond. Couples from all walks of life are discovering how incredible sex toys can be to use together as well. However, it’s one thing to know you’re super on board with bringing a sex toy into your partnered sex life. Getting your partner just as excited about the idea is another.
If you aren’t already 100 percent sure they’ll love the idea, it only makes sense that you’d have questions about how to approach the situation. What’s the best way to bring using sex toys together up for discussion? How do you keep any potential awkwardness to a minimum? How do you keep your partner from feeling inadequate? The following tips can help with all your concerns.
Casually Introduce the Topic
Talking to your partner about bringing a sex toy into the bedroom to try together doesn’t have to be a big, formal, sit- ‘em-down type of deal. In fact, topics like these usually go over best when they’re casually introduced into the right conversation. If you can’t find a way to bring it up naturally, try using something else as a prompt – like a scene in a movie or a television show.
You can also try sending your partner an article that goes over different types of sex toys couples enjoy using together. Mention casually that you found it really intriguing and you’re curious how they feel about it. From there, easing into a deeper conversation should feel natural.
Be Prepared to Address Insecurities
If you’re lucky, your partner will be totally down with the idea of bringing a toy or two into the bedroom. If they’re less sex toy-savvy than average though, they may worry that you want to add sex toys to the mix because they’re not doing a good enough job of pleasing you on their own. Be prepared to do a little reassuring if that’s the case.
Make it clear that you absolutely love your sex life together and find it sublimely satisfying. Your partner needs to know there’s no substituting a sex toy for the special brand of intimacy and connection the two of you share. Toys are just fun tools that can bring you closer still and introduce a little dimension to the mix.
Shop for a Sex Toy Together
Although there’s nothing wrong with introducing a vibrator or other toy you already own into your partnered sex life, it might be a fun experience to shop for your first sex toy together. Shopping together is terrific for opening up a dialog about what types of sensations you’re each curious about experiencing as a couple. Plus, if your partner is still warming up to the idea of using sex toys together, sharing in the shopping process can help them feel more involved.
If you’d prefer the hands-on experience of going to a brick and mortar sex shop to choose your toy, more power to you. Just know that shopping online instead can be just as much of a bonding experience, especially if this will be the first time using a sex toy for either of you. Plus, you’ll be able to explore all your options at your leisure. There are couples’ toys to consider or multi-purpose vibrators like the options in the incredible FemmeFunn Buddies collection, as well as many more possibilities.
Consider Different Ways to Play with a Toy
Many partners who are reluctant or apprehensive about using sex toys feel that way because they’re worried about being left out. What if you only focus on the toy instead of them? What if you wind up deciding it’s better at satisfying you than they are? A great way to avoid that is to introduce different possibilities into your play. The following are some great examples:
- Try putting your partner in the driver’s seat by handing them your sex toy of choice and letting them use it to pleasure you. Remote controlled toys can be awesome for this purpose, but any sex toy that strikes your fancy can be a good fit.
- Flip the script and tell them you’d like to use the toy to satisfy them A nice erotic massage can be a great way to ease someone new to sex toys into the experience and get them used to the idea a little at a time.
- Consider wearable sex toys or toys made specifically with couples in mind. They’re designed to please both partners so no one feels left out.
Ultimately, how you introduce sex toys into your sex life as a couple is up to the both of you, so go with what feels like a natural fit. It won’t be long before you’re both wondering why you didn’t give them a try a lot sooner!