Apart from making you feel fantastic and having a positive effect on your sex life, masturbation has a vast range of positive effects on your overall health and well-being.
Despite this (and the fact that most individuals masturbate or will at some time), masturbation remains taboo, especially for those with vaginas.
As a result, aside from porn and the rare sex scene on TV, learning how to masturbate in a way that gets you off while also helping you tune into your body isn’t something that is commonly taught or discussed.
For a long period of time, women’s sexual pleasure was viewed as something we provide to our partners rather than something we enjoy for ourselves. Thankfully, those dog days of putting your pleasure at the back of the line are over.
Masturbation is natural, powerful, and empowering, and while experiencing an orgasm is an enjoyable side effect, it is far from the only one! Masturbation can also affect how good you feel about yourself, how secure you feel in your body, and how open and receptive you are to your partner.
So how do you make the best of your self-love sesh? Keep reading to find out how to maximize masturbation and make it simply magical!
Don’t make climaxing your goal
Now, this may sound a bit out there… but we’ll say it in any case. Often, the more you want an orgasm, the more difficult it is to achieve one. Some folk orgasm while masturbating, while others do not—or they may experience orgasm every so often.
Our suggestion? Just relax and don’t place pressure on yourself to climax. While you may wonder what the whole point of the entire exercise is, you’ll be happy to know that you’ll get the same benefits from masturbation, such as stress reduction and the release of feel-good chemicals like dopamine, simply from self-pleasure, without orgasm.
By eliminating climax as a goal and concentrating on slowing down and exploring sensual contact, you learn about your body’s responses—what feels good, how your body responds to different types of touch, and what your body desires more of.
It feels amazing to increase your self-awareness and be able to generate pleasure in your own body. So just go with the flow and give yourself a good ol’ dose of love (you’ll also increase your odds of getting off if you remove some of the pressure and just enjoy the experience!)
Trust us; mindful masturbation is a thing!
These days, it’s so easy to get caught up and preoccupied with all sorts of nonsense. While there’s a time and a place for everything, worrying about your laundry while showing your clit a good time is not it.
Although it may be super easy to become distracted by your surroundings, try to practice being present and in the moment. Deepen your breathing by holding your breath for 7-10 seconds at a time. Close your eyes and focus on how and what you’re feeling rather than what’s going on around you.
As emphasized in the points above, it’s vital to relax and be in the right frame of mind before you can relish your body and the magnificence it offers.
Creating a transition period before masturbation by doing something nice and calming for the body (such as taking a lengthy shower or soaking in the bath) can help relax the mind.
You could also prepare for the occasion by doing things like taking yourself out for dinner or donning your sexiest lingerie. Making yourself feel special will help you to feel like a million bucks (and in a great mood) when you start masturbating.
Also, just like in partnered sex, you’ll want to make sure you’re turned on and have some lube handy. Whether you’re sexting or listening to porn (yep, it’s a thing!), warming up will make the process way more satisfying.
Choose a sex toy based on your preferences
When it comes to masturbation, there are a few different varieties, each with its specific pleasure function. If you’re new to sex toys, consider how you orgasm most reliably and choose a toy that delivers just that.
Bougie Bullet Booster Bullet Versa Bullet
Wands provide the most power, but they lack the convenience of bullets, which are smaller,, quieter, and more discreet in general.
Diamond Wand Ffix Wand Ultra Wand
Internal toys: Whether or not you believe in the existence of the G-spot, internal stimulation may be uber enjoyable for some individuals. While most people with vulvas orgasm or masturbate as a result of clitoral stimulation, adding an interior component can enhance the experience.
Dildos and vibrators with a significant curve (the curve provides you with leverage to target spots where a partner’s penis might not.) are examples of items with a shaft designed to be inserted within you.
Combo internal/clitoral toys: The most classic example of these are rabbit-like toys, which have a shaft for penetration and dedicated “ears” to stimulate your clit simultaneously.
Anal toys: This includes anything from butt plugs, anal beads, or anal dildos. Since anal toys have a distinct flared base, you can always differentiate a butt toy from a vaginal toy.
Combining butt toys with clitoral stimulation may be quite enjoyable for some people. Butt toys take masturbation to a new level, whether it’s wearing a butt plug for a sense of “fullness” or removing one anal bead at a time during a clitoral orgasm.
Alternate between your hands and sex toys
While a toy may have a higher orgasm success rate, using your hands to understand more about your body is a fab way to start. It’s also similar to the sensations produced by a partner’s hands.
If you’re interested in partnered sex, using your hands will help you transition from one to the other more seamlessly and provide your partner information about how you want to be touched.
When you switch to using a vibrator, you’ll start feeling those (sweet) sensations that your fingers aren’t able to provide. Keep in mind that playing with a toy does not make you lazy.
The truth is that today’s vibes and sex toys have so many distinct functions that focus on different ways of helping you orgasm that it’s well worth your time to try them all out and discover what gets you going.
Setting up a mirror and watching yourself get it on with yourself can give you the same rush you feel when trying on new lingerie. Furthermore, research conducted by the University of Texas at Austin discovered a correlation between good body image and sexual satisfaction.
In other words, instead of concentrating on the parts of your body that you wish were more toned, focus on embracing and caressing those lovely curves.
Remember this; you only get one body that allows you to experience all these amazing sensations. Cherish your bod, and you’ll soon notice this confidence permeate through the rest of your life.
Change up your positions
Masturbating in various positions, rather than resting on your back and using your fingers or toys, is an excellent way to stimulate your clitoris. Sit on your knees and push your clitoris on a vibrator, or move your body into a doggy position and simulate the position.
Or, you could try elevating your legs as high as possible (knees on shoulders) to assist you in reaching the interior parts of your clitoris or rolling on your stomach and seeing if it feels good to you.
Add some penetration into the mix
Some women don’t utilize penetration when masturbating, but if you want to try it, move your fingers in and out of you slowly—or fast if you prefer—while continuing to play with your clitoris.
Start with sliding a finger between your lips to open things up, and then dab some lubricant on your fingertips if you want additional slickness. Slide your fingers back and forth from the vaginal opening to the clitoral aperture.
Don’t go inside just yet; just tease yourself. Try a one-finger stroke, and then insert a couple of fingers inside your vagina, curling them slightly. They can be slid in and out.
You can also simply move your fingers in and out without touching the clitoris: the choice is entirely yours. Essentially, you’re simply looking for what you enjoy, and if it’s penetration with clitoral stimulation, do more of it.
You deserve to live your best life… always
Your most reliable sex partner throughout your life will be yourself. Which is fantastic because masturbating helps you figure out what you enjoy and encourages you to change things up—plus, it’s a (usually) drama-free relationship.
Masturbation is akin to a pleasure lab, and what you discover during masturbation will be beneficial during partner sex and future solo forays.
Giving yourself pleasure reinforces the message that you are deserving of it and that feeling good is part of your life’s toolkit. Aside from assisting you to sleep better, easing anxiety, and so on, masturbation can create the positive vibes you need to live your best life.