If you’re wired for relationships, then the chances are excellent that you’re always looking for ways to love your partners better and more deeply. No two people are the same or have the same needs, so getting things just right is an intuitive process you perfect over time. The following tips and suggestions are excellent places to start to deepen your relationship.
1. Learn their love language (and teach them yours).
People are usually most comfortable expressing love the same way they like to receive it, so consider how your partner goes about doing this. If they tend to show love by giving gifts or showing physical affection, the chances are pretty good that’s how they like to be loved in return.
Don’t merely assume, though. Sit down and talk about your love languages and discuss the ways you might differ from one another. Then go out of your way to do more of the things you’ve been told make your partner feel most loved.
2. Stay engaged and involved in their life.
Most couples have things they enjoy doing together, but completely different pastimes they enjoy as individuals. This is a normal, healthy way to be in a relationship. However, it’s also essential to take an active interest in your partner’s life beyond the interests and hobbies the two of you share.
Show your support for the things you know your partner loves to do. If your partner loves oil painting, ask about their latest piece, and listen attentively when they talk about colors or techniques. If they invite you to do so, consider painting with them sometime to get to know them better.
3. Give them space when they need it.
Even the closest, most loving partners don’t necessarily want to be around one another 24/7. Love comes alongside healthy boundaries and should never feel suffocating. No one should ever feel as if they can’t have their own friends or social connections either.
Don’t stand in the way of your partner’s relationships with other people. You should each feel completely free to spend time with your respective friends and family independently of one another. Respect your partner’s need for occasional alone time, as well. Your relationship will be stronger for it.
4. Hold yourself accountable for your actions.
Nobody’s perfect. Sooner or later, you’re going to make a mistake or do something to hurt your partner’s feelings. When that happens, own up to it and apologize. When you’re wrong, admit as much and do what you can to make things right between you. A little accountability goes a long way.
When it’s your partner’s turn to do the same, show the same love and forgiveness you’d want them to show you. Be honest about how your partner’s actions made you feel, but don’t try to make them feel even worse than they already do. People who love one another treat each other the way they would want to be treated themselves.
5. Communicate regarding intimate matters.
Everyone knows communication is the key to making a great relationship outside of the bedroom, but it’s an integral part of maintaining a satisfying intimate life, as well. If something isn’t working for you as far as your sex life goes, let your partner know in a kind, loving way. Encourage them to do the same. You should also both feel comfortable introducing new ideas into the mix.
Spending some high-quality solo time with yourself is another great way to become the best lover you can be. Invest in a good sex toy or two and get into the habit of exploring your body regularly. When you truly understand how your body does and doesn’t like to be stimulated, you can convey that information to your partner and reap the benefits.
6. Always be appreciative of your partner.
You don’t need to break the bank buying your partner expensive gifts to show them how appreciated they are. Just cultivate a habit of letting your partner know how grateful you are for all they do daily. If they cook you a fantastic meal, let them know how delicious it was and thank them. Verbal thanks are great, but thankful actions – like doing the dishes or being the one to handle the cooking next time – often go even further.
Praise your partner often for the things you like about them, as well. Are they an incredible parent, a hard worker, or a world-class lover? Tell them so instead of assuming they already know. Hearing that sort of thing never gets old, and it definitely helps deepen relationships.
Loving someone truly, deeply, and entirely isn’t always easy, but it’s simpler than people think. How do you and your partner like to keep things between you strong and loving?