While penile orgasms are great, that’s not all there is to male pleasure. There’s another organ that can cause spectacular, full-body orgasms that push the boundaries of what pleasure can be. Everyone, meet the prostate. This little walnut-sized wonder is basically the male equivalent of the G-spot — or P-spot, if you will. It’s a gateway to mind-blowing, full-body orgasms. Intrigued? Here’s a step-by-step guide to finding this backdoor wonder and exploring a whole new world of sensation.
What is a prostate orgasm (and how is it different)?
A prostate orgasm is achieved by stimulating the prostate gland for sexual pleasure. Think of it this way: a penile orgasm is like a firework — bright, explosive, and over relatively quickly. A prostate orgasm is more like a slow burn; a deeper, more internal experience that can trigger sensations throughout the entire body. Many men describe it as a more intense, full-body rush, like a wave of pleasure washing over them. Both are amazing, but exploring the prostate can open up an entirely new world of sensation.
How to find the prostate (the p-spot)
The prostate is nestled deep inside, right in front of the rectum between the bladder and the penis. Because of its location, it can be stimulated both internally and externally.
Finding it externally
This is a less direct approach but is ideal for those not yet ready for anal penetration. Gently press on the perineum (the area between the anus and the testicles). You’re looking for a firm spot that, when pressed, might cause the sensation of needing to pee. You can stroke this area with your fingers or a toy from the outside.
Finding it internally
The most direct way is through the rectum. The prostate is about two to three inches inside, on the front wall (towards the navel). It feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue, about the size of a walnut. The texture is usually different from the rest of the rectum, and it becomes bigger and firmer during arousal, making it easier to find.
How to have a prostate orgasm: a step-by-step guide
Ready to start the journey? The key to a great prostate orgasm is relaxation, communication, and plenty of lube.
Step 1: Talk about it first (consent is key)
Prostate play should never be a surprise. It’s critical to communicate with your partner beforehand so everyone is comfortable, enthusiastic, and on the same page. If you’re the one being penetrated, make sure to communicate your boundaries and needs. The more you share about what feels good, the better the experience will be for everyone.
Step 2: Prepare your space and yourself
Relaxation is a huge part of prostate pleasure. To help you relax, you might want to douche ahead of time to ensure the coast is clear. Also, since the skin around the anus is delicate, make sure any fingernails are trimmed and clean. Having some towels handy is always a good idea.
Step 3: Warm up with a sensual massage
When a person is tense, the anal sphincter tightens, which can make penetration uncomfortable. Start with a sensual body massage, focusing on other erogenous zones like the neck, nipples, and genitals before heading toward the buttocks. Gently massaging the butt cheeks and external anal area will enhance circulation and help the muscles relax.
Step 4: Use a lot of lube
This step is non-negotiable. The anus does not self-lubricate, so you need to add your own. Lubrication is essential for any form of anal play to prevent tearing and enhance pleasure. Apply a copious amount of a good-quality anal lube to the anus and whatever you’re using for penetration (a finger or a toy).
Step 5: Stimulate the p-spot
Once you’ve found the prostate, you’ll probably need to try a few different moves and experiment with pressure and speed to determine what feels best. Here are several approaches to try:
Manual stimulation (using fingers)
- Come Here: Insert your lubed index finger gently into the anus and curve it upward in a “come hither” motion toward the navel. Continue the action, gradually increasing your pace as the pleasure grows.
- Circling: Run the pad of your finger around the prostate and the whole gland’s circumference. Change the pressure and pace and stick with the combination that feels the best.
- Doorbell: Place your finger pad on the outside of the prostate and apply light pressure as if ringing a doorbell. Experiment with different pressures or hold the press for shorter and longer times.
- Pulsing: Some people prefer to clench and unclench their kegel muscles, pulsing what’s penetrating them against their prostate in a sort of knocking motion.
Using a prostate massager
When playing with sex toys, you can really spice things up by experimenting with different vibration settings, as well as pressure and depth. A dedicated prostate massager like the Pyra is designed for this.
- Pressure: Controlling pressure with a toy is easy, especially when playing alone. Try pressing the toy against the prostate with increasing or decreasing pressure until you locate the sweet spot.
- Vibrations: Most prostate massagers have different speed and pulse settings. Experiment with the various settings to discover a favorite, increasing the intensity as you get closer to climax.
- Depth: Toys can be great for reaching deeper spots. Try out different sizes of anal toys to see what feels best for you or your partner.
The feeling of a prostate orgasm is its own distinct experience, and it can be liberating to know that pleasure isn't limited to just the penis. For anyone with a prostate, it's an exhilarating way to have a full-body orgasm. Consent and safety are paramount, but once you’ve established that, you can have fun exploring with fingers, toys, and your own curiosity.