Pegging: A Guide to Giving and Receiving Pleasure

You've probably heard some stuff about pegging or seen that, yeah, that was amazing smile. And you're wondering, what's the deal? Why is this suddenly a thing? Honestly, it's pretty simple: pegging is when someone uses a strap-on dildo for anal penetration on a partner (usually a cisgender man).

According to recent data from the dating app Feeld, interest in pegging among cisgender men has surged by over 200% in the last year alone. What used to be a niche "taboo" is moving firmly into the mainstream as people prioritize pleasure-positivity and exploration. In this guide, we'll cover the basics, and you can decide if it's something you want to try. If you do, great. If not, no pressure. Let's explore the possibilities together.

What is pegging?

So, what does it mean to peg someone? The term was actually coined by sexpert and podcaster Dan Savage following a public poll to find a name for the act. When you get right down to it, pegging lets the person doing the pegging (whoever's wearing the strap-on) experience what it's like to own their very own penis. Conversely, it allows the receiving partner to experience prostate stimulation without using their hands.

This experience is why pegging is frequently a mainstay of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism/Masochism or kink for short) play scenes; there's nothing quite like being pegged to feel excitedly sexually subjugated — or pegging someone to feel erotically powerful. This explains why it's a favorite among femdom pegging enthusiasts.

Why people enjoy pegging

All great, grand, and especially hot, but pegging doesn't have to be all whips and chains. There are plenty of people who love to peg without role-playing. It's also not true that only sexually submissive people get turned on by being pegged.

For many men, the appeal is entirely biological. The prostate (often called the "P-spot") is located internally on the front wall of the rectum. When stimulated, it can produce "mind-bending" orgasms that are often more intense and longer-lasting than a standard penile orgasm. As with any form of consensual sex, pegging is what those involved want to make it: tough and rough, gentle and tender, or their very own mixture — as long as it's done safely, then the sky's the limit!

"The power dynamics are quite hot if you've got a female-identified body and have been used to receiving penetration as a result. Pegging is a fun — and even liberating — way to top. But it all works out better if you take it slowly, especially if your partner is new to this. Really listen!" Amy Marsh, Ed.D., sexologist and hypnotist, tells FemmeFunn.

How to get started with pegging

Gear and prep

Start by choosing a well-made and well-fitting strap-on harness. If you're a beginner, you may want to go with a Velcro one; easily adjustable, they are ideal for getting a sense of what wearing a strap-on is like. Then, from there, if you want, you can also graduate to a sturdier, more heavy-duty harness.

For vaginal play, stick with dildos designed for just that; likewise, never penetrate someone's ass with anything but a flared anal toy. A flared base is non-negotiable for safety to ensure the toy doesn't get "lost." And, for the love of God, don't forget the lube.

"Pegging dildos are shaped to easily go into the anus and also to stimulate the P-spot," says Sofie Roos, a Licensed sexologist and relationship therapist at Passionerad. "Invest in a high quality harness that you can adjust," she adds. "You don’t want the dildo to slip around because of a bad-fitting harness, that can be very unpleasant and even dangerous."

If you are looking for that authentic look and feel, browse our collection of realistic dildos to find the perfect fit for your harness. If you want to take things up a notch, consider a vibrating dildo; the added sensation can help relax the pelvic floor muscles of the receiver, making penetration smoother.

Consent and boundaries

But before all this, we cannot stress the importance of thoroughly discussing everything — and we mean everything — you and your partner might be interested in, if excited enough, and what absolutely should never happen. Then and only then, once everyone understands and consents to precisely what's been agreed upon, should the pegging commence.

If either the person doing the pegging or the person getting pegged wants to pump the brakes, take five, or call it quits, then that's exactly what happens. No arguments, no 'but we were just...' nonsense. Everything stops. End of story.

"I always suggest the 'traffic light' system that has its roots in the BDSM community," says Roos. "Red light means stop without further question, yellow light means that it’s heading towards something that can be uncomfortable or unpleasant, and that the sex should cool down or change to a softer direction, and green light means that everything is perfect!"

Lube and preparation

Unlike what you might see in pegging porn, you cannot just slide it in. When engaging in anal sex, always have a lot of lube — as in twice or even three times as much anal lube as you think you might need. Keep applying it no matter how slippery they may think they already are. Remember: the anus does not produce its own lubrication.

Depending on personal preferences, people sometimes find analingus (rimming) to be an effective way to loosen up before a pegging scene. Another great method to prepare is deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Helping the receiver focus on their breath can physically relax the anal sphincters. If that's not comfortable, another great method to prepare for anal play is by gently, carefully, slowly inserting one or two, then three gloved fingers — all while paying strict attention to what the receiver is communicating.

Heads up: if you're wanting the down-low on prepping for anal play, we've got a guide called Anal Training 101 that breaks it all down. You might also want to look into anal training toys to help the receiver practice expanding over time.

Best Pegging Positions to Try

There's a whole world of positions to explore with pegging. While you might be familiar with the "scenarios," the physical geometry of the act is what really matters for hitting the P-spot.

• Legs-to-Chest (Modified Missionary): The receiver lies on their back with their legs pulled back toward their chest. This provides the deepest access and allows for great eye contact and kissing, which can help manage the emotional intensity of the act.
• Spoon-Pegging: Both partners lie on their sides. This is often the best "beginner" position because it is intimate, gentle, and doesn't require as much physical stamina from the person wearing the harness.
• Doggy Style: The receiver is on all fours. This offers the best access for the person pegging to control the depth and speed. If you want to target the prostate specifically, the receiver can drop down to their elbows to change the internal angle.
• Double Penetration: This one's for those who like to multitask. If the person doing the pegging also has a penis, they can penetrate both the vagina and anus at the same time. It's intense, and definitely not for the faint of heart.
• Bondage Pegging: If you're into power dynamics and restraints, this is for you. Think safe, secure restraints paired with the thrill of penetration. It takes trust and communication to a whole new level.
• Pegging Mistress/Pegged by Wife: Whether it's a "pegging mistress" scenario or a "pegged by wife" fantasy, it's all about exploring that power exchange. If femdom's your thing, you'll find a lot to love here.

Femdom and pegging

Pegging and femdom often go together like, well, a strap-on and a willing partner. But what's the connection? Essentially, pegging allows for a very specific power dynamic. It flips the traditional script, giving the person wearing the strap-on the dominant role and the person being penetrated the submissive one.

The person with the strap-on controls the penetration, the pace, and the intensity. This can be incredibly empowering, especially for women or anyone who typically finds themselves in a more submissive position during sex. That control is a core element of femdom.

Safety and aftercare

When it comes to anal play, whether pegging or anything else, quality lube is your best friend. Seriously, don't skimp. Because the anal area is delicate, using the right lubricant prevents discomfort and potential injury. Be sure to use body-safe lube to ensure the ass on the receiving end will stay happy and healthy.

Now, when things wind down, don't just call it quits. Aftercare is just as important as the pre-play talk. Sex can be "beautiful, confusing, hot, and scary" all at once. Plan it out together, like you do the rest of the scene. Whether it's a hot bath, some cuddles, or just chilling with tea, make sure you both feel good afterward. This is a time for tenderness, not judgment.

"You don’t need to talk about it directly, and you don’t need to have aftercare together if you need time and space to let the experience sink in," says Roos.

FAQ: Everything you wanted to know about pegging

The bottom line

At the end of the day, pegging can be whatever you want it to be. Just remember: safety, consent, and respect are non-negotiable. And when you've got those down, let the pleasure take the lead. Ready to explore? Check out our full collection of toys to find your perfect match.